And the Award goes to YOU Anne Hathaway

Uncategorized Feb 08, 2019

Dear Anne,

Thank you for your bravery going on national television and admitting that drinking doesn’t bring out your best self, or your best parenting. Thank you for putting it out there that you are giving it up for 18 years! Know that you are not alone. There are so many of us Moms out here that quit drinking too and we just haven’t the opportunity, or the courage, to say it on national television.

Some of don’t even know how to say to our friends and neighbors (me). You just made it easier for all of us. Now we can just say, “Did you see/hear Anne Hathaway on Ellen the other day? Well she quit drinking because she didn’t totally love who she was when she drank and ME TOO!”

You are gorgeous, talented, smart, and successful. I don’t know if you have “drinking problem” and it really doesn’t matter. To you, drinking was a problem, so you gave it up.

I did this too, one year ago. I am still trying to define for others why I choose not to drink, and how to answer the questions that come after that seemingly bold, and loaded statement.

I choose not to drink.

“Nope, not even one drink. No, I am not in AA. Yes, I know you never saw me drunk. I wasn’t comfortable with the amount I was drinking. No, it wasn’t vodka from a paper bag on the street corner. You don’t have to be sorry for drinking in front of me, it's not contagious. I am choosing not to drink. I feel better when I don’t drink. I don’t want a drink. No, I seriously DON’T WANT TO DRINK. Ever.”   

Removing alcohol from your life is a wonderful choice to be celebrated for you and your son. Using your celebrity status is a genius way to normalize sobriety and take the stigma out of choosing not to drink. Alcohol is the only drug we have to defend not using. You are a positive role model for moms everywhere.  Thank you so very much for being part of the sober conversation.

I quit drinking almost a year ago. My drinking didn’t land me in jail or the hospital. I saw how daily wine drinking wasn’t a healthy habit for me. I was not my best self, living my best life, or enhancing my relationships when I was buzzed, drunk, blacked out, or hungover. Nobody is.

Yet we live in a culture that says women need their “Mommy Juice” . We drink coffee until wine o’clock, or whatever the cute Rose’ All Day marketing is. Our society tells women the only way to survive parenthood is to have a drink in hand.  

I was that mom too. I totally get it. I loved a little wine to go along with my playdates. I liked a little merlot to go along with dinner time, bath time and bedtime too. It was a temporary fix to blur my anxious edges and bring a more content happiness to my anger and boredom.

My discomfort with my drinking led me to quit a year ago and it was like coming back home to me. The hangover fog and groundhog day drinking survival mode is gone. In its place is a more productive, creative, happier, content me. Depression and anxiety are easily managed by the high of working out, petting my dog, or going outside. My relationships with my family have improved, but more importantly my relationship with myself. Shame and guilt be gone!

I am in the market for new sober minded friends. Hi, my name is Heather and I don’t drink. Does anyone want to be my friend? Anne, let’s be friends!


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