Memorial Day 2017 was my rock bottom. Not to be confused with the Day I finally stopped drinking. That would come ½ year or more later. 

Memorial Day Weekend has been an evolution in my sobriety and overall personal growth. 

You can read more about Memorial Day’s past here, here, here, and here.

I started my weekend this year by listening to Jenna Kutcher’s Goal Digger podcast titled “Should I Scale Bigger or Shut it Down? An Inside Look at my Daily Debate”, a recommendation from my friend Deb from Alcohol Tipping Point.

I was in a season of taking a social media break and scaling back my clients, as I worked to create and launch new programs, rebrand my logo + website, and make new connections in new ways. 

There is a balance of ambition and contentment in my job as an entrepreneur.  It was hard for me to stop the hustle of sales and it’s been hard to see less traffic on my website with less...

This weekend was my first born daughter’s high school graduation.

My sobriety made everything so much better.

In some ways it felt like a stress test:

Host a party for 50 people.

Pray for good weather.

Say hello.

Say goodbye.

Introduce people to each other.

Lose sleep for 3 nights in a row.

Get the cake out at the right time.

Whoops you’re too late.

Host my family for 6 days.

There’s light bulbs out in the basement.

We need more coffee.

Host a houseful of in laws for a day.

The kids like root beer and Cherry 7 Up.

Get it.

Oh we already had it.

Father in law, Pops likes Diet Pepsi.

Bottles, not cans.

The kid is gluten free.

Remember both corn and flour tortillas.

Get the surprises for Lily out.

Do it now.

No wait.

Don’t do it.

Do it now.

Is everyone here?

Stay calm.

Don’t get sucked into other people’s emotions or stories.

Don’t control what you don’t control.

Woah a blast from the past comes out of nowhere.

I have feelings about that.

The details are very foggy, but I have a drunken Easter story. 

For the life of me, I can’t think about why I would have been without plans or my family on Easter, but one year it happened. Maybe I chose it? I have no idea. I really can’t remember. My whole life at that time was a bit of a fog.  

What I do know is that I was grieving the loss of my good friend, who was diagnosed with cancer and passed away two months later, leaving his wife and 5 kids. My other friend, his wife, was now a widow. She asked me to do his eulogy. She said I was the only one that could speak her words. My heart and hers were completely broken. I stayed very close to her during this time. I wanted to be a real support person to her. 

We were both drinking a lot, which wasn’t necessarily new to us, but we had new meaning to do it with our freshly shattered hearts. I thought being in the depths of despair alongside her was the best support I could...

Why Do We Drink More During the Holidays?

The holiday season tends to be one of the most alcohol-centric times of year. Firstly, alcohol is generally more accessible. There are extra work events, holiday parties, family reunions, and other gatherings that typically include alcohol. Some people may drink more simply because it’s available, or in an attempt to manage the social anxiety that may come along with these festivities. 

Secondly, people may drink more around the holidays in order to cope. Mental health issues can be exacerbated this time of year by early darkness, seasonal affective disorder, and added stress. Many people also experience heightened feelings of grief and loss during the holidays. Dealing with toxic family members, financial pressure, comparison, and extra to-do lists can lead to unhealthy drinking in order to cope. While alcohol may provide short-term relief, it can make these stressors even worse in the long run (and add...

On my last Halloween as a drinker, I went to a costume party dressed as Janis Joplin. But of course. At this point, I had been exploring my relationship with alcohol for a few years. I was exploring periods of not drinking. “Sober experiments” as I called these alcohol time outs. Then I would also have periods of drinking again. Maybe escalated drinking with worse and quicker consequences than before my alcohol time out. I was trying to figure out how to keep alcohol in my life without killing myself or pissing off anyone that I love. This was an incredibly tricky thing to navigate. Trying desperately not to be addicted to an addictive substance, while still consuming the legal and celebrated drug that is alcohol.

On this particular Halloween, where I was drinking, but also working to be less of a drinker, I had signed up to run a 10K race bright and early the following day. I did this because I wanted to be a healthy person. I wanted to be the kind of person that...

New Years Eve has always felt like one of those days where you are supposed to be having more fun than you actually are. 

I have done almost every kind of New Year's Eve you can imagine. 

I have been in a sequined dress in the middle of the biggest party in downtown Chicago. 

I have been asleep in my bed before midnight. 

I have hosted a bash complete with champagne toasts in vintage glasses.

I had people I didn’t even know attending, so you know it was a wild time.

I have written intentions and literally thrown them into a campfire. 

I have declared resolutions and not.

Picked a glorious, fancy word for the year and none at all.

Made a list of goals and had no goal. 

I have done a countdown at 8 pm with young kids. 

I have had blowers, headbands, top hats, and streamers. 

I've kissed strangers and crushes and lovers and friends.

One year I rang in the New Year at a wedding. 9 months pregnant. 

I have been drunk. 

Sober. 

I love St. Paddy’s Day! 

Leprechauns and rainbows. 

Parades and debauchery. 

Irish music, Irish dancers, and Irish pubs. 

Corned beef and cabbage. 

Bagpipes.

I am all into the festivities. 

I used to, of course, love green beer too.

I loved the excuse for daytime drinking, on a chilly but sunny, almost Spring afternoon, in the midwest.

I no longer love green beer, rude drunken folks in a bar, getting spilled on, or the darkness of a pub on a sunny day, but I still love St. Paddy’s Day.

Here are a few ideas for what to drink when you don’t drink green beer. 

You can enjoy “green” drinks and skip the hangover, drunken antics, and shame.

Beer

If beer is your beverage of choice, Gruvi Stout will give you a Guiness like feel. It’s dark and bold with a chocolate malt and tastes of coffee.  If dark beer is not your thing, then Gruvi IPA might be the gold at the end of the rainbow for you! The can is green so...