I just turned 5 years sober. For most of my life this accomplishment seemed so out of reach for me. What would I tell myself back before my last Day !?

 1. You can do it. You absolutely can. 

Put all of your energy towards that. Stop looking behind you. Keep moving forward. Just because you are not doing it perfectly, doesn’t mean you are not doing it at all. Keep doing it. It’s a process and not a single event. Stay curious and keep learning. Believe you can and you will. It has to start here. You must believe in yourself bigger than you ever have before. You must believe in yourself BEFORE you have proved anything. BEFORE you have reached your goals. This is how to start. Start believing and stop giving up on yourself before the miracle happens. Keep the faith and it will happen. 

 2. The relationship that matters most is the one with yourself. 

You will not be able to make this change and keep...

Today I woke up 5 years sober. 

It is a glorious achievement. 

It means I have reached “stable remission” from alcohol use disorder. 

Milestones are a tricky thing.

Just as a huge achievement was rounding the corner for me, a crippling wave of shame crept in even faster.

I spent most of the weekend in tears. 

My loud inner critic was shouting at me. Screaming that I could not celebrate, because my drinking hurt people. I could never take back my alcohol problem. It will never be over. I need to live in my darkest shadow forever. I should feel no sunshine. The only appropriate way to be is on my hands and knees in repentance. Forever. Joyless. 

That voice said, I am not allowed to be happy and free. 

How dare I celebrate? 

My drinking hurt the people I love most. I should nail myself to the cross and live under my dark cloak of shame forever. The dark forever sorry-ness closing in on me. Suffocating me. The only response is to...