Is quitting drinking hard?
Yes it is.
It’s excruciating at times.
But you know what else is hard?
Running a marathon.
Having a baby.
Completing a big project at home or at work.
And you know what else?
They are all absolutely worth it.
Anything worth anything is going to require effort and getting sober is no different.
It’s a huge accomplishment that doesn’t come easy.
There’s a risk too.
What if your relationship to your partner changes?
What if you lose friends?
What if people find out?
What if some of your loved ones don’t understand?
What if you don’t want to do the things you are used to doing?
What if you change jobs?
What if you don’t fit in anymore?
All of these things happened to me.
Every single one.
Endings are hard.
You know what else happened?
I learned to choose myself.
I learned my spouse loved me enough he was willing to...
I have had nothing but JOMO this Labor Day.
The Joy Of Missing Out.
JOMO is new to me and I am still a bit shocked at just how much JOMO I have.
This makes me question my past decisions, but anyway...I am here now.
Please do not confuse me with being a bore, or a prude, or a homebody.
Actually, I am those things too, but still...
I am an extrovert.
A party girl.
I am someone up for adventure.
Most of the time, I still party sober.
I go to lakes, pools, boats, and bbq’s on summer holiday weekends.
However, I did none of that this Labor Day weekend and I absolutely loved it.
When I was in my first few weeks, (and even months) sober I tucked in early and a lot.
Staying sober was my priority so I avoided anything that triggered me.
This was nearly everything.
I was also boring myself to death.
As a girl with an edge, I wondered how I was ever going to keep up this Puritan-type lifestyle.
I like to...
Mama’s, I know you are stressed out.
School is starting and the kids aren’t going anywhere.
In addition to your job at home, as carpooler, housekeeper, chef, and CEO of family scheduling, you are now expected to also act as teacher’s support, tech support, early education childcare, and more.
Your multiple kids need to be logged into multiple meetings with hundreds of links, passwords, ID’s, and emails.
It’s a lot to keep up with and you likely have your own demanding job.
Many of you have kids who need special assistance in any number of ways.
It is overwhelming.
Your feelings of overwhelm, panic, anxiety, and exhaustion are valid.
If you feel like you are losing your mind, I don’t blame you one bit.
You need and deserve a break.
"Me Time", as they say.
You need time away, time alone, and time to focus on you.
This is often advertised as a woman in a bathtub with a glass of wine.
Along with another chaperone, I took my 15 year old daughter and 5 of her girlfriends, to a lake house in Michigan, for a long weekend.
The weekend away was like a mini vacay.
A sober, alcohol free, rated PG, delightful vacation.
Is it possible to have fun without drinking?
When I was drinking, I didn't think so.
When I was newly sober, I wasn't sure either.
Now my vacations have gotten even better because they don't revolve around alcohol.
When I was drinking, alcohol crowded my thoughts.
Bringing drinks, mixing drinks, getting more drinks, keeping drinks cool, finding the right tool to open drinks, starting to drink, counting drinks, drinking more, cleaning up after drinking, replenishing drinks, rationing drinks from others, and recovering from drinking, were the center of my vacations.
This Girls Trip with my daughter was nothing like that.
Here's the play by play:
Stop for dinner on the way up.
Order the fried pickles/frickles.
Realize everyone in the...
If you are newly sober, or giving alcohol a break, the upcoming holiday weekend can bring on anxiety. How will you party sober? How will you turn down a drink?
I understand these fears. In fact, I was sober for months and feeling good until I found myself completely unprepared for a Fourth of July Booze Fest.
By 10 am I had mimosa in hand and by the time the fireworks started I was a disappointment to everyone including myself.
You can learn from my failure. Here’s my best tips for thriving an alcohol free holiday weekend!
1 - Plan to succeed or prepare to fail
You cannot go into a party with a “wait and see” attitude. If you think maybe you’ll have a drink, you are guaranteed to have a drink. As a drinker, our brain is wired for it. Our default mode is set to alcohol. You have to go into the weekend with a sober mindset. You can tell yourself “I am not drinking today.” You don’t...
Want to level up your life? I can help.
What if I told you that you could have all this just by giving up one thing.
Would you be willing to do it?
Giving up this one thing will save you money.
You will look better.
The results are proven,
Your skin will become clear and bright.
Your overall health will improve.
Every system in your body will run better and age slower.
Your productivity will improve.
You will have more energy, clarity and focus.
Your mood will be more positive.
Your mental health will improve and feelings of depression and anxiety will decrease.
You will sleep better.
Your fitness levels will increase.
You will have improved relationships with yourself and others.
Your confidence will grow.
The gray matter in your brain will grow, making you smarter.
You will lose weight.
Saying no this one thing, will have you saying yes to so much more.
You will free your headspace, and...
If you think you can’t have fun without drinking.
You are right.
I couldn’t either.
That is because as much as I hated to admit it, I had become dependent on alcohol.
I needed alcohol for a good time.
So much that I didn’t feel good without it.
As a daily drinker, I would wake up with a hangover.
The only way for me for me to feel better was to address the withdrawal my body was experiencing.
Alcohol directly influenced the chemical activity in my brain which caused issues like depression and anxiety to exacerbate.
It disrupted my sleep and contributed to negative thoughts and moodiness.
This is not fun by anyone’s standards!
The easiest way to stop feeling this way is to have another drink.
This took the edge of my body’s withdrawal, and I immediately felt better.
This detox retox cycle is the alcohol trap.
Not unlike the sweet nectar of a pitcher plant that has insects drinking it...
Almost everyone I know has the same fear when they quit drinking.
Fear of not being fun anymore.
I had the same fear.
My identity was wrapped up in being a party girl. A class clown. A drinker.
I had never met anyone sober and I certainly would never want to hang out with anyone that didn't drink.
There was one women at work that didn’t drink much.
“Why???” , I would ask her.
I literally could not fathom why someone wouldn’t drink as much as they could,
as often as they could, like me.
“I just don’t really like the way it makes me feel. I’ll maybe have one glass of wine at Christmas, but that’s it.”
I would think, are you freaking kidding me???
What do you do for fun?
We would never be friends, outside of work.
If she didn’t drink we obviously had nothing in common.
All I did was drink and I surrounded myself with drinkers.
I am getting sick of being isolated and stuck at home. As time goes on, the cabin fever sets in. Not just cabin fever, but also exhaustion, from the weight of concern regarding coronavirus and the negative outcomes. Worry, anxiety, and depression are setting in for many.
What can you do to combat quarantine fatigue?
Here’s a few things that are working for me.
1- Get outside
This may be obvious, but fresh air, sunshine, and even a chilly slap in the face do the mind and body good. Getting out in nature relieves your mind and has proven benefits in overall health and mood. A change of scenery from your own four walls can immediately lift your spirits. I have made 30 minutes of being outside mandatory for me and my family. Whether we take a walk, work in the yard, watch the birds, or simply sit and read a book, the benefits of the great outdoors are plenty.
2- Change the channel
Figuratively speaking, change the channel. It can really feel like a...