My friend, Becky died a year ago today from alcohol.
It is so sad and it is not fair.
Becky and I were just casual friends, but we had a lot in common.
We both come from the same small town in Wisconsin.
We were both on the Poms squad in high school.
We married good, steady guys who loved us dearly.
We both gave birth to two daughters, a few years apart.
Being a Mom was the most important role of our lives and meant the world to both of us.
We were as proud as peacock’s of our girls.
We were closest to our own Mom’s, and everyone knew it.
We looked just like our Mom’s, who were our very best friends.
We were both friendly, although I think Becky was way more likable than me.
We both drank wine.
We both drank too much wine.
We stayed in touch casually over the years.
We were big fans of each other from afar, in a mutual admiration club of two.
I really liked Becky, and I think...
At 44 years old, I might be at the halfway point of my life.
My Grandma just passed away at 88 last week.
No one is getting any younger.
My kids are teenagers and I am middle aged.
I am not sure how this all happened so quickly.
Just yesterday I was in high school, and somehow my first born just completed her freshman year.
I know the older I get the more people I will lose.
This is heartbreaking in so many ways.
I also know age is a gift and not everyone gets it.
I have lost friends and family my age and younger.
Losing people that I love has changed me forever.
The silver lining of grief is the ability to cherish what you have , when you have it.
Death is inevitable.
Because I have experienced so much loss, I know my moments matter.
They could be taken away at any time.
Nothing is guaranteed.
Loved ones have been unexpectedly ripped away from me without warning.
This broke my heart.
It has also given me an added...
Black Lives Matter.
I want to openly admit how racist I am, and what I am doing about it.
This might surprise you to hear that I am racist, because I am, without a doubt, also anti-racism.
I am a kind, accepting, open, loving white woman.
I believe and vote for equal rights for all people.
My neighbors are black.
My best friends are black.
I am from a white family, in a white town.
I went to a white college.
I grew up in a very nice, loving, accepting white family who believes and votes for equal rights for all people.
How could I be racist?
Because I grew up in a racist society with massive inequality.
I don't know what I don't know.
A few years ago, a young blonde girl was shooting a skunk in our local park in broad daylight.
I was scared and taken back at first, but when I saw who it was, I was relieved.
If that was a black man or a black teen, I might have been scared and called the police.