When the Dive Bar No Longer Calls Your Name

fun spring break vacation Apr 04, 2022

I had such a serendipitous experience on Spring Break. We stayed in Naples, FL for the first half with family and in Treasure Island, FL just the four of us (meeting our Chicagoland neighbors for dinner one night) for the second half of our stay.

 

We had a hotel on the beach for the second half and before we arrived, my husband changed it to a place we had stayed before. As we were crossing the magnificent bridge’s into St. Pete’s I was overcome with emotion. We would be staying at the very same place I had my first Sober Spring Break over 4 years ago. I remembered it so clearly. I was about 30 days sober, very wobbly and unsure how I would make it through.

 

I did not have the strength and confidence that I do today. I was a fragile baby bird. The first day was excruciating. I was jumping out of my skin. Looking back, I can’t believe I made it. I am so proud of myself. That was so freaking hard. You can read about it here: ...

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I Can't Have Fun Without Drinking

If you think you can’t have fun without drinking. 

You are right. 

I couldn’t either. 

That is because as much as I hated to admit it, I had become dependent on alcohol.

I needed alcohol for a good time. 

So much that I didn’t feel good without it. 

As a daily drinker, I would wake up with a hangover. 

The only way for me for me to feel better was to address the withdrawal my body was experiencing. 

Alcohol directly influenced the chemical activity in my brain which caused issues like depression and anxiety to exacerbate. 

It disrupted my sleep and contributed to negative thoughts and moodiness. 

This is not fun by anyone’s standards!

The easiest way to stop feeling this way is to have another drink. 

This took the edge of my body’s withdrawal, and I immediately felt better. 

This detox retox cycle is the alcohol trap. 

Not unlike the sweet nectar of a pitcher plant that has insects drinking it...

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I'm Afraid if I Quit Drinking I Won't Be Fun Anymore

Almost everyone I know has the same fear when they quit drinking.

Fear of not being fun anymore. 

I had the same fear. 

My identity was wrapped up in being a party girl. A class clown. A drinker. 

I had never met anyone sober and I certainly would never want to hang out with anyone that didn't drink. 

There was one women at work that didn’t drink much.

“Why???” , I would ask her. 

I literally could not fathom why someone wouldn’t drink as much as they could,

 as often as they could, like me.

“I just don’t really like the way it makes me feel. I’ll maybe have one glass of wine at Christmas, but that’s it.”

I would think, are you freaking kidding me??? 

What do you do for fun? 

Eyeroll. 

How boring. 

We would never be friends, outside of work. 

If she didn’t drink we obviously had nothing in common. 

All I did was drink and I surrounded myself with drinkers. 

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