I want to be frank with you. There is no award to be won for being alcohol-free with the least amount of support possible. I know that's how we all try to do it. Me too. Like a middle schooler waiting for the bus in 30 degree weather with no jacket. We’re the cool kids. We’re good. We don’t need a coat. We’re strong, independent women. We don’t want any help. We got it. We GOT it okay?! Now leave us alone. 

Except, sister, you don’t really get it. You keep trying to get it. You start with the easiest possible way to do it. A way to attempt without fail. A way to try without overcommitting. You’re smart like that. I get it. So you try a short challenge. A free 5-day fix. And maybe you succeed, or maybe you say that was so dramatic. You forgot about the book club on Tuesday, so you’ll just drink on day 3 of the 5-day challenge. It was free. You tried. Who cares?

Success! 3 days alcohol-free. Then it’s back to the...

I wake up in a panic

No desire to start my day

Thinking of last night

Oh God, what did I say?

Do I have an alcohol problem?

I chug a glass of water

On the table beside my bed

I recognize hangover symptoms

Starting with

My pounding head.

Do I have an alcohol problem?

I head into the bathroom

My system is not right

At one glance in the mirror

I hate the ugly sight.

Do I have an alcohol problem?

I head downstairs for coffee.

Not sure I can stand the taste.

My mouth, an awful feeling,

As if I’ve eaten paste.

Do I have an alcohol problem?

I start to make kid lunches

Throwing stuff into bags,

Seeing the mess of the night before

Feeling like a nag.

Do I have an alcohol problem?

I rush the kids out the door,

Scared to death of what they think,

Quick try to cover up myself

By cleaning at the sink.

Do I have an alcohol problem?

It’s really hard to focus

Oh Lord, I hate my job,

I can’t look at...

It’s ok to start over.

I just have to share that. 

Especially with drinking.

If you’ve tried to quit before and it didn’t work…

...it’s ok to start again.

If you changed your mind or had some success or had no success…

...it’s ok to start over.

Every moment is a chance to start new.

There was a study of athletes that were both equally talented, but one was more successful than the other. 

It came down to the successful one being able to rest his mind and let it go.

If you have struggled and tried and failed and found yourself back in the drinking loop, 

(maybe even worse off than you were before you attempted to quit)... 

...it is ok to start again.

Everyone  I know that successfully quit drinking...

...started by unsuccessful attempts at quitting drinking.

Just because you haven’t done it yet, doesn’t mean you can’t do it.

...

I’ve been married over 18 years, so I am not one to give advice on dating.

What I can tell you is that even as a married gal, I want to be seen as an attractive person.

My fun, flirty, party girl persona is something I started in high school, along with drinking.

I wanted the fun part to continue when I got sober.

I thought drinking and fun went together, but I was wrong.

I want to be the kind of person men want to be with and women want to be like.

I have many other mentors in my life that are these kind of people. 

They are attractive and magnetic.

They have a positive vibe that draws you into their orbit. 

We are pulled toward celebrities with this quality.

Chrissy Teigen, amiright?

As a young girl navigating first crushes and kisses, alcohol was my magic elixir. 

It gave me the liquid courage needed to stand at a party filled with intimidating upperclassmen. 

It eased the shakes of teenage self consciousness.

Alcohol gave me the nerve to talk...

As a Certified Professional Recovery Coach and Retired Party Animal, I know one main concern about ditching the drink, is the fear of a boring life. 

I understand this completely, because it was one of my greatest fears too. 

This is for the sober curious folks, a life of sobriety does not equal a boring life.  

Here’s some food for thought when taking a break from alcohol. 

Is it sobriety or pandemic?

If you are getting sober or experimenting with being alcohol free, during the COVID pandemic, separate feeling bored and shut in, with being sober. They are not the same thing. If you are bored because of the pandemic, consider yourself lucky, right? 

Is it temporary?

Being sober does not mean being shut in, unless you want it too. 

In early sobriety you might choose nights on the couch with Netflix over fighting cravings in alcohol induced environments. With practice you will grow your sober muscle and start to venture out more....

1000 Days Free from Alcohol.

Wow!

I am super proud of me.

I can’t believe I used to start everyday on the wrong side of the bed:

hungover, full of guilt/shame/fear, physically ill and in a bad mood.

How did I do this for years and then hate myself when I wasn’t happy with my life?

If I could look back on myself, on Day 1…

this is what I would tell her.

Listen Honey,

Start by tuning in, instead of tuning out.

You don’t need to seek outside yourself for love, acceptance, and peace of mind.

Pursuing meaning and purpose will prove so much more valuable than the pursuit of pleasure.

Those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter.

You are worthy, you are enough, and there is nothing wrong with you.

You’ve done a great job dealing with some heavy shit, give yourself credit.

Not everyone is going to understand or like you and that’s ok.

You don’t have to be perfect, you get to be whole.

Discomfort and pain are part of life,...

It is Saturday morning. 

I don’t have to get up.

It is 6:30 and still dark out.

I roll around in bed.

Pet the dog.

Lay and enjoy the slowness of the morning without the rush to get up.

My eyes are wide awake.

My body feels mostly good.

Maybe slightly puffy from the sushi last night, but my head is clear. 

I awake with energy and joy.

I decide to get up out of bed and make myself my first cup of coffee.

I am excited for this early morning alone time, because I am at the end of a great book.

I turn on the lamp, grab my blanket, and settle in on the couch.

I finish this 5 star read, as the sun rises. 

I treat myself to a Starbucks run for my next cup of coffee.

Today is Halloween.

I have a fun day of holiday baking, crafts, and movies planned with my teenage daughters.

Because of the COVID pandemic, we are not attending our usual costume parties, treat or treating, and other neighborhood activities.  

We planned our own Halloween agenda weeks ago. 

I...

Sober October is the second most popular alcohol free month of the year, followed by Dry January. As the weather gets cooler it's a perfect time to hunker down, and hit the reset button on your drinking before the holiday season picks up. 

If you are like me, many sober experiments start with motivation and excitement. This can dwindle quickly when you are faced with your first cravings. 

Here’s a few common tricks to avoid and treats to implement for a successful Sober October. 

Tricks

Tough emotions

If you’re a regular drinker it will take some time for your mind, body, and spirit to reset. It is common to wake up and immediately wonder who many drinks you’ve had the night before. Dreaming about drinking is also very common. Without alcohol to numb your emotions you may experience intense emotions. This will be uncomfortable but you can allow yourself to move through it. Feelings are only temporary. With two full moons this month, your emotions...

Want to level up your life? I can help.

What if I told you that you could have all this just by giving up one thing. 

Would you be willing to do it? 

Giving up this one thing will save you money. 

You will look better. 

The results are proven, 

Your skin will become clear and bright. 

Your overall health will improve. 

Every system in your body will run better and age slower. 

Your productivity will improve. 

You will have more energy, clarity and focus.

Your mood will be more positive. 

Your mental health will improve and feelings of depression and anxiety will decrease. 

You will sleep better. 

Your fitness levels will increase. 

You will have improved relationships with yourself and others. 

Your confidence will grow.

The gray matter in your brain will grow, making you smarter.

You will lose weight. 

Saying no this one thing, will have you saying yes to so much more. 

You will free your headspace, and...

I am 2 years away from my last drink.

Looking back, I’d love to tell myself then, what I know now. 

The biggest lesson would be, that I wouldn't always feel the way I felt.

Getting sober was a process.

I had to go through each phase, before I reached the next.

Just because it didn't always feel pleasant, didn't mean I was doing it wrong. 

It meant I was doing it right.

I can see this now, in hindsight.

Let me take you back to the beginning, when I wasn't so sure.

This might provide some comfort in knowing that you are not alone.   

My first night out

I remember being just 5 days sober and going to my first party.

I didn't want to go, but we had committed, before I decided to quit drinking. 

We had already bought tickets to see a show, and I felt like I couldn't back out.

We had a pre party to attend before going to see a band at a bar.

We showed up to the pre party.

I brought my favorite water bottle with me.

My husband was also not drinking,...