This might surprise you, but the reason you can’t quit drinking might have little to do with alcohol. Yes, it’s a highly addictive substance that is hard to move away from, but if you are like me, you have seen some success by gritting it out for 30 days, alcohol-free. After that, you may no longer have a physical dependence on alcohol that is keeping you stuck. Maybe you never did. If you are a middle-of-the-lane drinker who secretly fears you’re imbibing a little too much, I invite you to consider some powerful questions. This is a little preview of what it is like to work with me as a coach.  

Many of my clients have been stuck in a purgatory of drinking/not drinking for years, and so have I. Women come to me and finally make the worthy investment of my one-on-one coaching because they’ve already done other programs They’ve tried the other things, and although they were good stepping stones in making progress towards change, they...

I’ve been a coach for five years. I partner with a top rated credentialing authority to recruit, train, and mentor other coaches. With a degree in social work, I started as a skeptic when it came to the world of coaching. I didn’t know what I didn’t know. I didn’t think I needed a measly coaching certificate when I already had a four year degree in helping people. 

I started with a Udemy certificate in Law of Attraction Coaching. This is regularly criticized for not being ‘real training,” but it’s how I got my start. It was a ten-ish hour online training. At the time, I understood the coaching industry was unregulated, and yet, I wanted some certifying agency to give me a quick stamp of approval to call myself a coach. I wasn’t ready to invest more, and I didn’t know where to start. I think it cost me $30. It did not teach me the necessary protocols and high standards of coaching, but it did get me started in learning about...

I want to be frank with you. There is no award to be won for being alcohol-free with the least amount of support possible. I know that's how we all try to do it. Me too. Like a middle schooler waiting for the bus in 30 degree weather with no jacket. We’re the cool kids. We’re good. We don’t need a coat. We’re strong, independent women. We don’t want any help. We got it. We GOT it okay?! Now leave us alone. 

Except, sister, you don’t really get it. You keep trying to get it. You start with the easiest possible way to do it. A way to attempt without fail. A way to try without overcommitting. You’re smart like that. I get it. So you try a short challenge. A free 5-day fix. And maybe you succeed, or maybe you say that was so dramatic. You forgot about the book club on Tuesday, so you’ll just drink on day 3 of the 5-day challenge. It was free. You tried. Who cares?

Success! 3 days alcohol-free. Then it’s back to the...

I sent my first weekly newsletter in August of 2019. I had seven subscribers at the time. Two were myself using my other email addresses to populate the subscriber field and set the momentum. The others were my mom, my husband, and a few friends that I asked to add. I committed to writing a weekly newsletter for 4 ½ years with very few weeks off. Mainly, when I have been out of the country, I have missed a handful of weekly newsletters. With tons of organic effort, my subscribers list has grown greatly since 2019. My writing remains incredibly personal. 

I have always had the belief that writers should be paid. I pay for writing that moves me. This includes a Medium Membership, Substack Subscriptions, paid newsletters, great books, writing courses, writing coaches, writing classes, writers retreats, hearing writers speak, and more. I gladly pay for all of it. Each month when I open a paid newsletter, I think maybe this will be the month I cancel or weed out and...

Some of my best memories are from some of my biggest drinking moments. 

It’s been helpful to think that my drinking was bad, unhealthy and alcohol took me away from myself. And now that I’ve removed alcohol, I am happy, healthy, free, and all is well. 

Although this is 100% true, it is not the whole truth. 

It is a story that I have been telling myself for years. I had to tell myself this story to get to the place I am at now, which is 5 years sober, happy, and free. 

I could only see it in the solid black and white until now. Any kind of nostalgic thinking or romantic longing about alcohol in my past was too risky. If I idealized the past for too long, I might spiral and land upside down with a bottle in my hand and wine on my lips, once again. 

I quit drinking so many times before I quit drinking. 

With alcohol, decidedly no longer an option for me, I had to march to the drum with a single beat.  The rhythm...

When I was just starting out on my sober journey, I had this voice in my head, Let’s call that voice by name, the Wine Witch. She tried to sabotage me every step of the way. 

When I would see some progress (maybe 4 days of alcohol-free), she would start screaming at me:

 “What are you going to do?

Not drink?

Like, really not drink?

Like not even drinking when you get to Paris?

Come on!” 

Then the real me would hear that Wine Witch. I would think about sitting at one of those black and white striped woven wicker bistro chairs outside a Parisian cafe, surrounded by women in black berets, leaving red lipstick marks on their long skinny cigarettes, and little fluffy dogs on the ground next to their high-heeled feet, sipping a strong afternoon red or a crisp bubbly champagne from the region. Women living the dream just being fabulous and sitting and sipping from sun up until sundown. Did I want to be part of that? Yes, I did. Could I...