I used alcohol to turn off the noise in my head.
I had a very loud inner critic and anxiety about nearly everything.
I love the boozy, woozy, relaxed,
“everything will be ok”
feeling my first sips of wine gave me.
What a relief! From myself.
It honestly felt like the only way to get away from the demanding, persistent, never good enough tape running in the background of my head.
When I quit drinking, I was left to deal with this and it wasn’t pretty.
I can still feel anxiety rising up like a lump in my throat sometimes but I have learned other ways to escape.
We need to run away sometimes.
Alone time is a #1 tool for my clients working towards ditching the drink, and it was for me too.
If you are new to ditching the drink, you might not know any other way to get an escape, other than alcohol.
It has likely been your mindless “go to” for as long as you can remember.
Here’s a list of other ideas to try.
When I look back on pictures, I can see clearly how alcohol is poison.
The bloat in my face is painful to see.
The bloat was my body's way of trying to protect me from my drinking habits.
As a drinker, it was just another reason for me to hate my ugly self.
I was ignoring myself, in every way.
I did not pay attention.
I numbed out everything that was happening to me, so I could just keep drinking.
I started drinking in my early teens.
I never had a chance to fully develop without it.
I didn’t learn healthy coping skills.
I didn’t know how to regulate my emotions.
Alcohol was always there to soothe me.
I thought it was fun.
I thought it was what made me fun.
I thought other people liked the funny, fun, party girl, who I was, with a drink in my hand.
Is quitting drinking hard?
Yes it is.
It’s excruciating at times.
But you know what else is hard?
Running a marathon.
Having a baby.
Completing a big project at home or at work.
And you know what else?
They are all absolutely worth it.
Anything worth anything is going to require effort and getting sober is no different.
It’s a huge accomplishment that doesn’t come easy.
There’s a risk too.
What if your relationship to your partner changes?
What if you lose friends?
What if people find out?
What if some of your loved ones don’t understand?
What if you don’t want to do the things you are used to doing?
What if you change jobs?
What if you don’t fit in anymore?
All of these things happened to me.
Every single one.
Endings are hard.
You know what else happened?
I learned to choose myself.
I learned my spouse loved me enough he was willing to...
I became a student of my own problem when I ditched the drink.
I immersed myself in books, instagrammers, music, and everything alcohol free.
These sober tools were great guides and helped me to feel part of a larger community.
I was a lurker in this community, and now I am a contributor!
This can happen to you too!
This email was one of the first Ditched the Drink Subscribers emails I sent.
I started with about 20 family and friends emails, and it has grown from there.
I still agree with my recommendations, but I have one exciting update.
I was interviewed for Recovery Happy Hour!!! You can find me on Episode 81.
I am really proud of my interview. Check it out!
Here are a few of my podcast recommendations:
HOME by Laura McKowen and Holly Whitaker
They no longer do this podcast, but I used to listen to it as I walked the track during my daughter's volleyball practice. it made me feel like I was on the phone with my friends. This really helped me...