(No) Motivation- Do It Anyway Monday

I started the week with a cycle class at my new gym.

It’s been a while since I took a spin class.

I was intimidated.

When I scheduled the class at the end of last week...

I wanted to start the week off with a bang.

I wanted to put myself first, 

get a hard thing out of the way, 

and create new energy for my week.

 

I usually start Monday's really slow.

I sit and sip my coffee on the couch, under a blanket, with Rocky at my feet.

I journal. 

I write a blog.

I write a newsletter. 

I stay in my pajamas.

I drink my green juice as a late morning breakfast,

before heading to the shower to really start my day and my week. 

 

So when this Monday rolled around,

the dreams I had for myself last week when I scheduled this class,

were met with resistance.

 

I sat on the couch under my blanket with my coffee.

Time went too fast and it was time to go to class.  

I didn’t want to.

I wanted to stay home.

I wanted to cancel. 

I...

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3 Fears of High Functioning Drinkers

When I first quit drinking I wanted everything in my life to stay exactly the same. The only difference would be that I was no longer drinking. I didn’t want anyone to know if I was drinking or not drinking, and I definitely didn’t want it to be the topic of conversation. I feared my relationships would change, or that others would feel uncomfortable around me. I wanted to go on living my life, only somehow secretly not drinking alcohol. 

Now, at 3-years sober, I realize how that was both unrealistic, and not in my best interest. 

Looking back it doesn’t surprise me that I had all of these expectations. I had set myself up to live an unliveable life in many ways. I wanted to go unnoticed and keep everyone around me happy at all times. I also never wanted to feel anything. If I started having an intense feeling, I would get disappointed in myself. It was easier to pretend it didn’t exist. Whatever the feeling was, it had to be wrong, and it was my...

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3 Tips for Giving up Alcohol For Lent

So you’ve decided to give up alcohol for Lent. 

Congratulations!

This is one of the healthiest things you can do.

Because you have chosen alcohol, I assume there may be some challenges in letting go of this vice. It is afterall representing a sacrifice. 

Maybe you are #sobercurious, on a health journey, looking to lose weight, get better sleep, or evaluating your relationship with alcohol. 

Perhaps alcohol has become a staple in your daily routine since the pandemic hit and it secretly scares you how much you have come to rely on it. 

Maybe you see it’s hurting you more than it’s helping you.

Regardless, I am glad you are here, taking a break from booze.

I am now 3 year sober, but I started with an alcohol free experiment myself. My goal was to be alcohol free for 100 Days. I made it to 70 Days and felt confident my overindulgence was cured. I did alcohol free challenges and experiments for 3 years before I decided to give it up for good.

I...

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3 Years Sober, Living a Life of Luxury, not Deprivation

The world is full of bad news involving alcohol.

In my feed from just today:

  • A grandma in Wisconsin killed her granddaughter in a car accident at 8:30 in the morning with a .092 blood alcohol level from the night before. 

 

  • Britt Reid, son of Chiefs coach Andy Reid, had alcohol prior to a crash that injured two children leaving one 5 year old girl fighting for her life.

 

  • Patients with liver disease die of COVID-19 at rates three times higher than those without it, and alcohol-associated liver disease has been found to increase the risk of death from COVID-19 by an additional 79% to 142%.

 

  • Bruce Springsteen admitted to drinking 2 shots before DWI arrest. In his 2016 autobiography “Born to Run,” Springsteen said he avoided drugs and didn’t try alcohol until he was 22, partially because he saw how drinking affected his father.

 

  • Women’s drinking is up 41% since the pandemic. 

 

  • The Americas are the only region of...
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Pandemic Drinking

Many Americans have been drinking more since the coronavirus pandemic. 

American adults say they're drinking 14% more often during the coronavirus pandemic, according to a report in the journal JAMA Network Open. The increase in frequency of drinking for women was more pronounced, up 17% compared to last year.

Instances of heavy drinking among women, which for women was defined as four or more drinks within a couple of hours, spiked by 41%.

We know it is not a healthy choice, but disassociate from the idea that it negatively affects the body’s immune system. Weakening our defense against the exact virus we are trying to avoid. 

We are coping with our stress, fear, and boredom with alcohol.

At first it felt like just playing hooky, not going into the office and hunkering down at home. Making the best of the situation by Zoom Happy Hours and Quarantini’s.

Social connection and a sense of humor go a long way towards a healthy state of being and I commend these...

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5 Tips for Happy Holidays Without Alcohol

The holidays can feel stressful.

This year, perhaps even more so, with the current state of the pandemic. 

You may be feeling health concerns, financial fears, and decreased mental health. 

There's a general consensus that times are tough and alcohol helps. 

Drinking is promoted as a way to cope with the madness.

The “at least there’s wine” mentality is harmful to many.

Alcohol actually adds to the exhaustion, anxious feelings, and regrets that you may already be feeling. 

Here’s a few tips for managing the holidays in healthy ways:

1- Acknowledge the loss.

The holidays may not feel like "The Most Wonderful Time of Year", if you are missing someone you love. Grief is amplified during the holiday season. Whether you are missing someone you are not getting together with this year, or missing someone who has passed, this can be a time of deep sadness. Allow yourself to move through your feelings. Give yourself the space you need to cry,...

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What is the cost of drinking?

We all have a money story.

Mine is that I was a middle class girl raised by a single Mom.

This makes for a “I grew up poor” mentality sometimes.

I also think I am a Princess and my inheritance will surprise me someday.

Until then...

I deserve this...

...and I also deserve that. 

I can have whatever I want, because I am a spoiled brat.

Whether or not I can afford it...

...it should be mine because I said so.

 

But also, I am not worthy of any of it. 

I should have nothing.

I should give it all away.

I should desire nothing. 

Poor is good. 

Help the poor.

Be poor.

Don’t make money. 

Wanting money is bad.

Having money is worse.

 

So it’s all very complicated for me, and likely for you too.

This comes into play when we look at quitting drinking.

I hear from people all the time that want to quit drinking, they want to invest in themselves, but they just can’t do it. 

There is another thing that takes priority...

...and...

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Getting Sober is Spooky, Staying Sober is Magic

Living alcohol free is absolutely magical, but it doesn’t feel that way at first.

When I first quit drinking, I had a lot of fears.

MostlyI feared that life after booze would be boring.

I was terrified that I would lose friends. 

The truth is, my early sobriety was pretty boring.

I tucked in bed early on most days.

I avoided many social gatherings.

I immersed myself in books, podcasts, blogs, and education on alcohol. 

I didn’t know how to have fun without alcohol.

I only knew how to be a party girl, with a permanent drink in my hand. 

I had a big fear of missing out on fun.

My friendships changed too.

Everyone, including my closest friends, were unsure how to support me. 

We always drank together.

What now?

I was itchy in my new alcohol free costume.

I was becoming a new person.

I was taking off the mask of alcohol in my 40’s.

I had worn this cover up since my teen years.

I didn’t know the alcohol...

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Mom Burnout and Self Care

Mama’s, I know you are stressed out. 

School is starting and the kids aren’t going anywhere.

In addition to your job at home, as carpooler, housekeeper, chef, and CEO of family scheduling, you are now expected to also act as teacher’s support, tech support, early education childcare, and more.

Your multiple kids need to be logged into multiple meetings with hundreds of links, passwords, ID’s, and emails. 

It’s a lot to keep up with and you likely have your own demanding job. 

Many of you have kids who need special assistance in any number of ways.

It is overwhelming.

Your feelings of overwhelm, panic, anxiety, and exhaustion are valid.

If you feel like you are losing your mind, I don’t blame you one bit. 

You need and deserve a break. 

"Me Time", as they say.

You need time away, time alone, and time to focus on you. 

This is often advertised as a woman in a bathtub with a glass of wine.

When...

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5 Tips to Thrive Booze Free on a Holiday Weekend

If you are newly sober, or giving alcohol a break, the upcoming holiday weekend can bring on anxiety. How will you party sober? How will you turn down a drink? 

 

I understand these fears. In fact, I was sober for months and feeling good until I found myself completely unprepared for a Fourth of July Booze Fest. 

 

By 10 am I had mimosa in hand and by the time the fireworks started I was a disappointment to everyone including myself. 

 

You can learn from my failure. Here’s my best tips for thriving an alcohol free holiday weekend! 

 

1 - Plan to succeed or prepare to fail

 

You cannot go into a party with a “wait and see” attitude. If you think maybe you’ll have a drink, you are guaranteed to have a drink. As a drinker, our brain is wired for it. Our default mode is set to alcohol. You have to go into the weekend with a sober mindset. You can tell yourself “I am not drinking today.” You don’t...

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