Today I am hitting the publish button on my website. I am not ready.
A few weeks ago I made an announcement on social media that I was 1 year sober. I was not ready and I didn’t have the right words to share. I decided to do it anyway. I obsessed about the words that I would choose for the weeks leading up to the Soberversary. I wanted to be serious, but lighthearted. I wanted people to know it was a big deal and I was proud of myself. But I didn’t want anyone to think I was ever a raging mean alcoholic. I wanted to share the news and receive positive feedback and celebration from my friends, but I didn’t want to be vulnerable or open for criticism, judgment or imagination about addiction. I was scared. I was really frightened about what everyone would think. Once I shared, people were going to know and after it was documented, I couldn’t take it back. It was scary and I was anxious leading up to the date. Once the calendar turned and the 1 year sober date actually arrived, I decided to just post the exact thoughts I had in that moment. I hit post. Immediately, I felt a flood of relief to have finally gotten that off my chest. I had finally shared the secret I had been quietly working on all year long. I was letting people in and regardless of the outcome it felt wonderful. Then the comments and the likes started rolling in. My people were celebrating with me and rooting for my success and many of them have been on this path too.
I am starting a new coaching business and a digital sobriety class. I am not ready. I have a plan, an idea, a guide and a road map. Each destination requires opening myself up a little bit more. I have to continue to be vulnerable. This is not easy for a perfectionist, like me. I want everything to be perfect before I invite others in. But if the house had to be perfectly clean before we have company, we would never have company.
So here it is. Here is this thing I am building. It is unfinished and imperfect. It will evolve. For now come see what I have started. Leave your thoughts and even criticism. I can take it. I welcome your feedback.
Let’s grow, connect and learn together. Thank you for showing up and coming to my website, even though the dishes aren’t done yet and I am answering the door in my robe. I’m glad you’re here and I can tell we are going to be friends.