I was raised by a single mom. I am a headstrong Aries.
My most used quote might be, “Don’t tell me what to do!”
What I am trying to say here is that I am a strong, independent woman. I don’t need no help.
Except I do.
We all do.
What I am really trying to say is, it's hard to ask for help. We resist asking for help. We fear needing help is a sign of weakness. We think we should somehow be able to manage everything all on our own, even at the jeopardy of our physical and mental health.
I just reached out for maybe the first time ever to a group of strangers online and asked for help. I was overwhelmed with positive response. This connection is life changing to me. I am not going to be afraid to ask for help again.
Helen Keller said it best, “Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much.”
Think about it, people naturally want to help others. I naturally want to help. We just don’t know what people need, unless they tell us. You make it easier for other people when you ask for help. You get better results too. I have never met more open and generous souls than in the recovery community, so you are in the best hands here by reaching out.
I understand if its too soon, or you are too afraid. You might be too unsure about how to reach out for help now, or where to go or who to ask. I had my best friend getting sober alongside me, which was the most valuable connection, but even that wasn’t enough. My friends, family and husband all supported me, but I wanted to surround myself with people who had gone through the woods before me. I only knew one person in real life who had done that. In early sobriety, I was private about getting help. I think many people are. So I secretly scanned the internet for help. It was like WebMD, as I looked for signs, symptoms and cures to my life. I immersed myself in books and websites from people who were farther along in the recovery process than me. There were three women that spoke to me and became my trusty resources and friends long before I even told my real life friends what I was doing on this road to sobriety.
Belle from Tired of Thinking about Drinking
Belle was my first resource. I am not even sure how I found her. She has a 100 day sober challenge and that is what I did first when I was questioning my drinking habits a few years ago. I made it to 70 days, so you could call my experiment a failure. I call this my first sober accomplishment. As hard as it was, I learned how free it felt to remove the drink. I learned that I really could start to listen to myself and trust myself. I started being really proud of myself for staying sober day by day instead of hating myself and this felt good. This planted the seed, that would eventually bloom. In addition to the 100 Day Challenge, Belle has a blog, a book, a email coaching program and a podcast. She even has one minute podcast messages. These quick reminders really helped to keep me on the right track. Plus, she’s a caterer in Paris, so she’s obviously glamorous and amazing. Belle’s messages are consistent. She’s matter of fact. She’s like the Know It All Big Sister who has gone before you and has all the answers. She is definitely someone to check out and lean on as you explore your drinking.
Holly from Hip Sobriety
Holly is incredibly popular in the sobriety world. She has a digital sober school, blog, and more recently an online publication called The Temper. I felt an instant connection with Holly because she is badass and bold. I didn’t want to turn into a puritan or nun once I got sober and Holly was proof that you don’t have to. Her writing is incredible and so honest it will bring you to tears. She empowers us all to remove the stigma of sobriety and recovery. Her site is full of great resources. Holly is definitely the cool friend you want to have on your side.
Annie Grace from This Naked Mind
Annie Grace is the smart one. If Belle was the inspiration and Holly was the role model, Annie is the teacher. Annie’s insight into addiction and the brain was life changing for me and so many others. Annie’s lessons removed the guilt and shame around my drinking and taught me the science behind it. Annie was a successful marketing professional and I really related to her and her story. She has a blog, a sober experiment, and a book. Annie became the voice in my head and I was able to become a witness to my own behavior.
There are so many great resources, but these three are my favorite. We all have our own unique combination of tools in our kit for recovery. You will find what works for you.
I welcome the opportunity to be one of your tools. I am not in competition with anyone. Take from me what works for you and leave the rest. Do the same with these three women. Check them out and if you love them, immerse yourself, if you don’t, ignore and delete. Keep searching for resources that work for you. Keep adding to your sober kit. We all have our own unique combination. It's your job to try everyone on and see what fits you, but I can help.
I have an abundance of information on my Pinterest Page, check out the boards that interest you. Follow the sober things that inspire and motivate you. Craft your vision for yourself.
I post a variety of articles from all types of sources on my Facebook Page.
There is really something for everyone there.
I publish an article weekly for LinkedIn, if you are looking for original professional content, find me there. I don’t think there is enough information out there about alcohol and the corporate world so I am creating my own.
The Instagram community is probably my favorite. Definitely my Go To for humor in recovery. Follow me, see who I follow. Follow everyone. Unfollow whoever doesn’t work for you. No one ever said, “no I don’t want any more things that amaze, teach, inspire, entertain, and push me to grow, thanks” Use them all. Use everything that works for you and nothing that doesn’t.
My goal is to be the place and the person that offers all kinds of options so each person can find their magic combination. I don’t think I would have made it this far without the insight and information from Belle, Holly, and Annie. I needed a piece from each of them to nudge me along.
I am honored that you are allowing me to be a piece of your Sober Tool Kit.
We all need somebody to lean on.