People like to joke about this weird time between Christmas and New Years like it’s some kind of twilight zone.
Maybe it is for some people.
It was for me.
I used to roll from one party gathering to the next.
I would do the minimum to get showered and dressed .
I would then prop myself up and pour myself a drink.
I would fake laugh and use sarcasm to tell everybody how well I was doing.
I typically started drinking late morning, upon arrival.
I would stuff myself with food or not eat at all.
I would either pass out early, or push myself to keep partying well past my bedtime, in the spirit of holidays and togetherness.
I would start each new year utterly exhausted from the year before and the final push in the last few weeks would tip me over the edge.
I did not enjoy the holidaying, but I loved the excuse to drink more, and more often.
The holidays stressed me out.
I was adding more things to do to my already too full list.
My normal life was overwhelming.
Adding in the holiday extras was unlivable.
Being the people pleasing perfectionist that I am, I was able to slam the holidays in and get it done.
Full of resentment, obviously.
I would pack up my family and promptly show up at another uncomfortable social gathering and pour some wine to relax and treat myself.
The wine kept flowing.
The holidays were a perfect excuse for my over indulgence.
I’d overeat, oversleep, and do minimal self care, unless you count sneaking drinks as a reward.
I put myself last on the list of things to take care of during the holiday season.
Emotions and grief overwhelmed me, but I stuffed it down to keep showing up with a happy face.
I was stressed out and burned out.
I called this a good time.
I didn’t know any better.
Now I do.
Sobriety has taught me that life has responsibilities but stress is optional.
I didn’t slam in all the extra holidayness this year.
I did things... as I wanted to.
I made rest and enjoyment a priority throughout the season.
I was able to wake up with energy to wrap the gifts one morning with my coffee and favorite Christmas tunes, because I did not force myself to do it when I wanted downtime the night before.
I kept my routines of daily walking outside, journaling, and meditation.
I added in spa baths, quiet reading time, and early bedtimes more often, not less.
I treated myself to early morning fires in the fireplace, gazing and appreciating the Christmas tree, I worked so hard to decorate.
I was able to give gladly.
I even hosted glady.
I had the capacity to be fully present with the people I love.
I had never done this before.
I was always crawling toward my next drink and merely making it through.
I was barely surviving, in years past.
This year, I am thriving.
I see, there is another way to do this holidaying.
The holidays can be magic, not madness.
I am able to trust myself now and listen to the rhythm of my body.
I use my intuitive energy for optimal productivity, and rest.
The week between Christmas and New Years is not all that different this year, since we have been working from home and I work for myself.
I manage my own schedule, balancing work and home responsibilities.
I continue to wake up with passion and excitement to create my next work projects.
This is my busiest season to prepare for professionally, and I love it.
I was also able to take down all my decorations with nostalgia and gratitude.
Another year in the books.
Holiday bins full of memories and hand me downs tucked away until next year.
The year between Christmas and New Years is the runway for the new year.
My intentions are set.
I reflect and review the progress made this year.
Possibilities are imagined.
It does not feel lazy to me.
Rest and comfort are very intentional.
As is, productivity.
It does not feel confusing or like a twilight zone.
It feels like a gift of space and time.
My approach to life has changed.
I am not letting life take me by the hand, I am now in charge of my own destiny.
I am leading the charge, not following suit.
I’d love to help you reimagine the holidays and tune into your magic too.
Happy New Year.