I was a woman who could do it all, until I couldn’t.
I am a 40 something Mom, married to a wonderful, dependable guy.
I have the privilege of raising smart, kind, talented, and athletic teenage girls.
I am a doer, a go-getter, a highly motivated seeker.
At times, I can be highly competitive.
I have an impressive resume with consistent promotions to bigger and better jobs with more responsibility, and fancier titles.
I own a nice home, surrounded by wonderful neighbors.
I decorate appropriately for each holiday.
I have a circle of smart and sassy friends.
My Mom is my best friend and top supporter in everything I do.
I had both a happy childhood, and childhood trauma, as most of us do.
I was always supported and loved.
I knew I was loved 100% by many, many people since the day I was born.
This doesn’t paint a picture of what I am about to tell you.
I found myself with...
There is no one way to ditch the drink.
There is no right way either.
There is only the way that works for you.
It can be a process of trial and error to figure it out.
Some of my clients come to me wanting “a program” and some coaches offer programs.
The way I see it, the ways to remove alcohol from your life are as unique as the people looking to ditch it.
There are a few Universal tools such as finding support, education, and community.
Often a spiritual practice is included, but not always.
My work with client’s is very personal and highly customized.
There is no “how to” guide or step by step process to easily ditch the drink.
In all cases I offer support, resources, encouragement, and accountability.
How this plays out is different for each person I support.
Many of my client’s are used to following rules, taking...
There’s a lot of information out there about what changes in sobriety.
You go to bed instead of opening a second bottle for good time’s sake.
You meditate to escape the incessant critical voice inside your head.
It sounds cliche but it was true for me.
Not directly from not drinking, it’s not that obvious.
But gradually you realize no one is reaching out to you.
Maybe they never were?
Maybe it was you forcing relationships (and almost everything in your life).
When I gave up drinking I gave up forcing everything too.
This is also true.
This seems like such a little consequence for the value gained.
You sleep better and your skin starts to glow.
Your blood pressure, weight, and cholesterol return to normal.
These results are almost always guaranteed.
I recently spent 3 nights in Vegas as a nondrinker.
It was my best trip to Vegas ever.
I had an absolute blast with none of the consequences from previous alcohol induced trips.
You must be wondering...
What did I do?
What did I drink?
Let me tell you all about it!
We arrived in the evening and immediately got ready to meet friends for dinner at SushiSamba.
The restaurant is uniquely themed with Peruvian, Brazilian, and Japanese flavors.
We ordered the chef’s special where they just keep bringing out the best of the day.
This included Wagu beef cooked on a rock at our table.
It was so delicious I will never be the same after tasting it!
They have a mocktail menu, featuring three drinks.
Coconut milk, pineapple and mango. Served long, over ice.
Muddled blackberry and raspberry, topped with lime sparkling water. Served long, over ice.
Fresh cucumber juice, agave nectar, topped with sparkling water. Served long,...
I’ve been to Vegas seven times.
For five of them, I went as a drinking party girl.
For one, I was doing a sober curious experiment.
On my most recent trip, I arrived in Vegas as a happy, healthy, comfortable, non drinker.
There is such a thing, and I am proof of it.
I have enjoying my alcohol free lifestyle, so much, I made it my career.
I have evolved into a Certified Professional Recovery and Life Coach, a Business Owner, Sober Influencer, Alcohol Free Advocate, Coach Recruiter, and Corporate Wellness Consultant with almost 4 years of sobriety under my belt.
I am here to tell you that Vegas is better sober.
I know this is hard to believe.
I've done Vegas like a train wreck.
I always felt like I should have been having more fun than I actually was.
I felt like I should be somewhere else, I was never content in the moment I was in.
I had FOMO.
I wanted to be everywhere at once.
I was often irritated that the drinks...
Talking about substance use is the missing link in Corporate Wellness conversations.
We have this idea that people are addicts or they are not addicts.
We think you have a drinking problem or you don’t.
We think an addict is living under a bridge somewhere drinking from a brown paper bag. We think everyone else is someone who casually enjoys one glass of wine at dinner.
We leave no alternative scenarios for a person’s relationship to alcohol, in our all in or nothing at all thinking when it comes to alcohol.
The truth is 70% of people with substance use disorders are working full or part time.
There is a large spectrum of people relying on substances to cope and self soothe whether that be for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
My clients come to me because they fear their growing dependence on alcohol. They see that it is fueling their anxiety and depression.
My clients are highly educated, extremely accomplished, and very successful. They are lawyers, doctors, top...
Happy National Sober Day!
I celebrate today because I am 3 ½ years sober.
I wasn’t always so enthusiastic about ditching the drink.
Believe me, sober was the last resort for me.
I tried everything I could to keep drinking.
I successfully completed 3 years worth of sober challenges.
I participated in Dry January, Sober October, Dry July, and more.
All of these experiments were to prove that I could keep alcohol in my life.
Afterall, if I COULD quit drinking, then I didn’t really HAVE to quit drinking.
Time and time again, I had a long term failure to moderate.
At the time I thought moderation was my biggest life goal.
Now that seems too small for me.
Why would I want to live by a set of rules.
Why would I want to abstain and never get as much as I really want?
I was talking with a client last week and she mentioned the weekend might be hard.
Because it’s Labor Day, a three day holiday weekend, and the end of summer.
It hit me that I hadn’t even thought about that.
I did have a trip out of town for my Aunt’s Funeral services at the end of the week, prior to the weekend's start.
I was performing the eulogy, so I was heavily distracted, to say the least.
My oldest daughter had a volleyball tournament,
so we had no plans for a for a last hurrah.
It actually felt like a regular weekend, with an extra day added in.
Less plan, and few obligations.
No forced family fun, which admittedly I shove in sometimes.
(don't we all?)
More time and space.
It was just what I needed, considering the emotional weekend I had endured.
I started the summer in an opposite way...with a BANG! on Memorial Day.
We enjoyed a weekend at a lake house,...
I always preach #sobertnoboring but the more I think about it...
...maybe I am boring.
Maybe my sober life is boring?
Maybe I don’t have to defend this anymore.
Maybe this will not inspire you to quit drinking.
Maybe this is your biggest fear come true.
It was mine.
I didn't want to be boring or lose friends, and it happened.
Truth be told...
There are people who don’t want to hang out with me since I've quit drinking.
I don’t get invited to events that I used to.
I have lost friends since I quit drinking.
Not at first, but eventually.
Not blatantly, but subtly.
My relationships changed.
That's how change works.
Many people in my life, don't want to do the things that I want to do.
They are not interested in the same things that I am.
Sometimes, I can't find anyone to do something with.
My husband and daughters have to fill in as my friends a lot.
In my friendship circles, I am...
On my vacation we did so much lazing around.
Just napping, sitting, lying, being.
So much nothing.
It was the perfect place to do it.
We were always poolside, with a view of the ocean waves.
Some days we were under the shade of a cabana.
I would read and sleep and swim and read and sleep and swim.
Eating tacos at regular intervals.
Laughing with my kids.
We were all so relaxed.
It was a beautiful escape from the busy hustle of our regular lives.
We had a beautiful soaking tub on our balcony.
Every afternoon my oldest would go enjoy a bath in solitude.
I would get up early each morning for coffee and reflection with the ocean alone.
My youngest joined in on the games and my husband golfed a few times.
I did yoga and had a spa day.
We all had the right mix of togetherness and alone time too.
We only left our resort one day.
We were there for a week.
We could have stayed...