I want to be frank with you. There is no award to be won for being alcohol-free with the least amount of support possible. I know that's how we all try to do it. Me too. Like a middle schooler waiting for the bus in 30 degree weather with no jacket. We’re the cool kids. We’re good. We don’t need a coat. We’re strong, independent women. We don’t want any help. We got it. We GOT it okay?! Now leave us alone. 

Except, sister, you don’t really get it. You keep trying to get it. You start with the easiest possible way to do it. A way to attempt without fail. A way to try without overcommitting. You’re smart like that. I get it. So you try a short challenge. A free 5-day fix. And maybe you succeed, or maybe you say that was so dramatic. You forgot about the book club on Tuesday, so you’ll just drink on day 3 of the 5-day challenge. It was free. You tried. Who cares?

Success! 3 days alcohol-free. Then it’s back to the...

It’s all about balance, they say, and that might be true for many things; however, there's no reason to find balance with alcohol. Alcohol is an addictive substance that creates dependence; you are not missing out on any internal happiness or joy by not consuming it.  

I am all for being mindful, intentional, and prioritizing awareness, health, and wellbeing, but there’s a problem when it comes to terms like conscious consumption and mindful drinking. In short, they are oxymorons. 

I am the last person to want to tell you this. I wanted to believe for years, as a wine drinker, that alcohol was good for me. I wanted to know about the grapes and the soil they came from. I wanted to know the region and the year. I wanted to believe desperately that I wasn’t dependent on alcohol, and it was an empowering choice that I was making to free myself from rules and responsibilities. I thought alcohol was one of my great pleasures in life. I did not want to see...

I am sharing a few examples of how to honor Black History Month.

I try to do many of these things year-round. Black History Month serves as a nice reminder to evaluate my efforts and add to them as well. I hope you can implement and add to these ideas. 

Consider the source here. I am a white woman who grew up in a small white town in Wisconsin. I went to a mostly white college in Wisconsin, too. Growing up, I could count the number of black friends I had on three fingers. My black friends were all adopted by white families. I can't change this fact, and I am not an expert on this matter. I do care to broaden my world, so I try to mostly listen when it comes to this topic.

After college, I moved to Chicago. I currently live on a street that you could compare to Sesame Street. No family is the same when it comes to race, religion, ethnicity, abilities, sexual orientation, age, and more. My children are growing up with much more diversity, and we are all benefiting from it. As a...

I turned 6 years sober yesterday. It was anticlimactic and tranquil. This was a big change from the previous year, when I had an absolute meltdown over my five year milestone. 

You can read about it in these blogs:

5 Years Sober, A New Home Inside of Me

5 Years Sober, Here's What I Wish I Knew on Day 1

5 Years Sober and I Want a Glass of Wine

And all previous annual milestone posts are here:

Reflections on 4 Years Sober

3 Years Sober is Luxury, not Deprivation

Reflections on 2 Years Alcohol Free

I Have An Announcement To Make - 1 Year Sober

I knew my soberthday milestone was coming up, and I was looking forward to it. I am used to feeling an onslaught of dramatic emotions leading up to sober milestones, but this one felt like it was quietly sitting in the background. Happily. Content. Not demanding a lot of attention or fanfare as it has in the past. I know better than to rest on my laurels, so I decided to withhold any conclusions until the day had...

My husband and I went to City Winery for a 10,000 Maniacs show last night. After a comedy of errors in our dinner plans, we decided to eat at the venue. We did not want to be the first people at the show, so first, we enjoyed dinner in the adjoining restaurant. We got a cute little table right next to the big, roaring fireplace. We had fun ordering a bunch of little plates and sharing. Truffle fries and burrata. Lox flatbread and kale Caesar salad. I had an NA sangria to drink. It was a bunch of tart fruit juices. It looked like an aperol spritz, and it came in a pretty glass. My husband had an Athletic Brew beer. We ended with chocolate mousse and coffee.

Then we headed to the concert room. The seats and tables are really close together at this venue, making for an intimate concert experience. As the name implies, wine is obviously a big theme. The space is full of bottles and barrels as decor. The establishment gives away a signed bottle from the band. Right down the...

One thing that prevented me from addressing my complicated relationship with alcohol for so long was the fear of social stigma. I was also afraid to fail, but I was more afraid of success. If I quit drinking, then what? Then, actually, what? 

I would no longer fit into my social circles. I risked rejection and losing friendships. I would feel ostracized and excluded. I would be left out, alone, misunderstood, and judged. I would not fit into my 20-year marriage anymore. 

My husband and I met at a bar. We were party people. It’s part of what attracted us to each other. It wasn’t fair to him that I was considering changing the game for us without warning. This wasn’t what he signed up for. I was so ashamed. 

I was scared that I would not fit into my neighborhood, my friend group, my happy hour work crew, or any other group or activity I have ever done or ever wanted to do because I would no longer be drinking. I would lose the nearly four decades of...

Hi, I'm Heather, an award-winning sober life coach with five years of experience working with high-achieving women. I am also an Enneagram 3 Achiever. I have had the privilege to support executives in top leadership positions, recognized political figures, busy mothers, teachers, artists, doctors, and even a few celebrities or people in the public eye. For many high-achieving women, the pressure to maintain a demanding lifestyle can sometimes lead to unhealthy habits, including excessive drinking. 

High-achieving women often find themselves juggling multiple responsibilities, whether it be excelling in their careers, managing households, or pursuing personal passions. While ambition and dedication are commendable traits, they can also contribute to stress and a desire to unwind, often through the consumption of alcohol. Many of my clients use alcohol as a way to turn off their active brains, give themselves permission to stop working, dial down the pressure, and take a...

Even as a trained sober coach and someone with almost six years of sobriety under her belt, there are still situations that feel awkward to me as a sober person, and last weekend I experienced one of them. 

I went to a birthday dinner for someone I adore. In addition to my husband and I, the birthday guy and wife, there were two additional couples that joined. I was only slightly acquainted with them. We went to a great place with a beer hall-type atmosphere and sat at a long table. It was restaurant week in Chicago, so our whole table shared the pre-fixe meal. The menu included two Gruvi NA beers and an amazing zero-proof old-fashioned made with alcohol-free cinnamon whiskey. All good. 

When the party guests arrived and saw my beautiful old fashioned, they asked, “Is that an old fashioned?”  "Yes, it is!” I replied proudly. “It’s delicious. I don’t drink alcohol, so it’s the zero proof version.” No one...

Since the day I was born, beer has been an omnipresent staple in my life.

Before I tasted wine, which would become my drink of choice and also the nail in my coffin, so to speak, before mommy wine culture was an even thing, before my relationship with alcohol would be labeled as problematic, before my recovery, if you call it that, or my discovery, if you don’t, before my sober coach training or expertise in the alcohol free space, before I became the person I am today, before I knew anything about alcohol, there was beer. Beer was my first sip. Beer was tightly woven into the tapestry of my identity. It still is. In short, I love beer.

In some ways, falling in love with beer was my destiny.

My parents were both beer drinkers and beer lovers who met in a local beer tent. I was born in a small town that was home to more bars than churches. The local taverns had more worshippers than the parishes. My hometown is located in a state whose Major League Baseball team is named after...

As the new year begins, I’ve been thinking a lot (almost obsessively) about goals. As a perfectionist, it’s killing me that I set out to read 40 books in 2023 and I ended the year reading 39. Nevermind one of those books was about 700 pages long, it’s still just bothering me to no end feeling like I didn’t meet my goal. Should I just be happy with the 39 books I read? Was 40 books too lofty of a goal for me? Did my goal change and I failed to update my app with the challenge? There were years past when I surpassed this goal by double digits. Should every year be more books, a bigger challenge than the year before? Am I the biggest failure? Please don’t answer that, I am having a hard enough time here. 

As a Coach, I think about goal setting all the time, on every client call. I am specifically trained to help other people achieve their goals. Thoughts on goals are not new to me, but I have a few new thoughts to share. I personally want to...