I attended a Special Olympics basketball game the other night and I learned so much.

My experience with basketball is limited. I played basketball on a team for one season in middle school. I didn’t understand any of it. I was terrible at it. Growing up with a single mom, we never even watched sports. I had no idea what I was doing and it was incredibly frustrating.  

I had a huge respect for the athletes on the court the other night.

I joined the basketball team in middle school, because my friends were basketball players. I was trying to fit in. The coach and the other players spoke in what sounded like a foreign language to me. They would run plays called “Michigan Blue”. I don’t know what that meant. It was a secret to our opponent but it was also a secret to me. Was “Blue” right or left? What was I supposed to do?

Sometimes I was supposed to  “set a pick”. I didn’t know what this...

Why Do We Drink More During the Holidays?

The holiday season tends to be one of the most alcohol-centric times of year. Firstly, alcohol is generally more accessible. There are extra work events, holiday parties, family reunions, and other gatherings that typically include alcohol. Some people may drink more simply because it’s available, or in an attempt to manage the social anxiety that may come along with these festivities. 

Secondly, people may drink more around the holidays in order to cope. Mental health issues can be exacerbated this time of year by early darkness, seasonal affective disorder, and added stress. Many people also experience heightened feelings of grief and loss during the holidays. Dealing with toxic family members, financial pressure, comparison, and extra to-do lists can lead to unhealthy drinking in order to cope. While alcohol may provide short-term relief, it can make these stressors even worse in the long run (and add...

Welcome to the Ditched the Drink Gift Guide!

I am so excited to share some fun ideas for the sober babes in your life. Yourself included. 

* Many things made by Sober Babes themselves. I added the price, but it could have changed, and most likely in your favor.

Stocking Stuffers

I love a good DIY manicure. Funny Bunny is my current favorite polish. You’ll thank me for introducing you to this perfect white. It’s not chalky and doesn’t look like White Out (are you are old enough to know what that is or did I just age myself?) My daughter taught me a trick and that’s to do a coat of Funny Bunny under a light pink, like Ballet Slipper Pink color polish. It makes a difference and gives me the perfect natural pink, that’s matte and not transparent. Big Apple Red is the perfect red that looks good on every single skin tone. Highly recommended for some holiday pizazz. 

I love this Sober Morse Code Bracelet. Such a great secret...

Sober milestones can come in many forms. A huge accomplishment for many of my clients’ is flying sober. I mean literally flying. Like in an airplane. It takes some resolve to successfully accomplish this feat, as the airport is full of opportunities to drink. 

There are actual liquor bottles sized specifically for the occasion of flying. Airports resemble Vegas in that it never sleeps, there’s changing time zones, and you’re neither here nor there. It’s never day or night. An airport is some sort of ether world. A perpetual party, never ending vacation take off, networking extravaganza, mini city of strangers, with endless options for drinking without shame and stigma. 

The airport can be a lonely place of goodbyes and happy bartenders are waiting to greet you at every corner. There is a person willing to lend a hand, a shoulder, and a soothing brew to jump ship on your uncomfortable emotions. Airport bars are open and available at all...

My first Thanksgiving was really rough. 

It was my first big holiday traveling and visiting family.

I had lots of sobriety under my belt. Almost 9 months. Still I felt wobbly, shaky, and fragile. 

I drank a lot with my family. I wasn’t sure what to do without it. Everyone in my family drinks, but most did not drink as much as me. Some of my family drank more than usual when I was around, because I could be kind of a drink pusher. Just one more. One more. 

This first Thanksgiving I didn’t want anyone to act differently around me. I didn’t want my sobriety to be weird. I wanted to be cool, confident, and simply fly under the radar. 

This was an impossible desire. I wasn’t cool or confident. I have big energy and have never been able to fly under the radar. 

My family saw my self diagnosed alcohol problem and they were trying to learn more about my newfound sobriety. I didn’t have words for it....

I wake up in a panic

No desire to start my day

Thinking of last night

Oh God, what did I say?

Do I have an alcohol problem?

I chug a glass of water

On the table beside my bed

I recognize hangover symptoms

Starting with

My pounding head.

Do I have an alcohol problem?

I head into the bathroom

My system is not right

At one glance in the mirror

I hate the ugly sight.

Do I have an alcohol problem?

I head downstairs for coffee.

Not sure I can stand the taste.

My mouth, an awful feeling,

As if I’ve eaten paste.

Do I have an alcohol problem?

I start to make kid lunches

Throwing stuff into bags,

Seeing the mess of the night before

Feeling like a nag.

Do I have an alcohol problem?

I rush the kids out the door,

Scared to death of what they think,

Quick try to cover up myself

By cleaning at the sink.

Do I have an alcohol problem?

It’s really hard to focus

Oh Lord, I hate my job,

I can’t look at...

On my last Halloween as a drinker, I went to a costume party dressed as Janis Joplin. But of course. At this point, I had been exploring my relationship with alcohol for a few years. I was exploring periods of not drinking. “Sober experiments” as I called these alcohol time outs. Then I would also have periods of drinking again. Maybe escalated drinking with worse and quicker consequences than before my alcohol time out. I was trying to figure out how to keep alcohol in my life without killing myself or pissing off anyone that I love. This was an incredibly tricky thing to navigate. Trying desperately not to be addicted to an addictive substance, while still consuming the legal and celebrated drug that is alcohol.

On this particular Halloween, where I was drinking, but also working to be less of a drinker, I had signed up to run a 10K race bright and early the following day. I did this because I wanted to be a healthy person. I wanted to be the kind of person that...

Dark coffee alone with the windows open and the chilly autumn air breezing in.

Reflection in quiet, feeling content, at peace.

With myself.

Satisfied and full. 

Not desperate or seeking.

A last minute decision to do a hot flow yoga class on Sunday.

A new instructor. 

Never been done before on this day and time.

A long term gym member and yogi, and yet something completely new to me.

Immediate pride for my choice and swift decision.

Letting myself be spontaneous. 

Not agonizing or doing mental gymnastics, which is so familiar to me. 

Trusting my instinct and going with the flow of my life. 

The feeling of wanting to move my body in a joyful way. 

The absence of needing to punish my body for bad behavior and choices.

My favorite yoga outfit. 

A decision to look my best, not my worst for no reason on a Sunday morning.

Thinking “not bad” as I suck in and get a quick glance at myself in the mirror.

My middle aged...

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. You can support and donate to a variety of options to fight against breast cancer. There are pink ribbons, lip gloss, blankets, shoes, stickers, t-shirts and more. 

The most well known good that you can purchase to fight against breast cancer is alcohol. 

Many well meaning organizations are fighting breast cancer with alcohol. There are “drink for pink” and “clink for pink” campaigns. There specific wines labeled to support breast cancer research.  

A famous Chicagoland steakhouse has offered clever taglines for their breast cancer awareness campaign. Fighting breast cancer,  “One cosmo at a time.” , offering “Highballs for hope”, or  “Brews for Breast Cancer” and “Spritz for Sage. Cocktails offered for a cure. They are generously donating proceeds of the profit of alcohol sales towards research for breast cancer.

Why...

I didn’t want to go to yoga yesterday. 

I love yoga. 

I really do. 

And yet, I didn’t want to go. 

I know it’s good for me. I always feel better afterwards. I pride myself on being a yogi.

I like to do it at least three times a week. Four, if I can. 

Sometimes I do that. Sometimes even more. 

Lately, it’s been hard to fit it in with my extra busy work schedule and both my daughters’ full volleyball schedules. 

For this season, I have committed to at least once a week. 

This has been an achievable goal, until last week when I missed it. 

I reserved my spot, but when the time came to go, I told myself my time would be better spent doing more work. I decided to catch up on emails and home administration while sitting on the couch. I talked myself out of  yoga. I told myself this was me giving myself a break. This was my way to find the time to accomplish other...