When I first quit drinking I wanted everything in my life to stay exactly the same. The only difference would be that I was no longer drinking. I didn’t want anyone to know if I was drinking or not drinking, and I definitely didn’t want it to be the topic of conversation. I feared my relationships would change, or that others would feel uncomfortable around me. I wanted to go on living my life, only somehow secretly not drinking alcohol. 

Now, at 3-years sober, I realize how that was both unrealistic, and not in my best interest. 

Looking back it doesn’t surprise me that I had all of these expectations. I had set myself up to live an unliveable life in many ways. I wanted to go unnoticed and keep everyone around me happy at all times. I also never wanted to feel anything. If I started having an intense feeling, I would get disappointed in myself. It was easier to pretend it didn’t exist. Whatever the feeling was, it had to be wrong, and it was my...

So you’ve decided to give up alcohol for Lent. 

Congratulations!

This is one of the healthiest things you can do.

Because you have chosen alcohol, I assume there may be some challenges in letting go of this vice. It is afterall representing a sacrifice. 

Maybe you are #sobercurious, on a health journey, looking to lose weight, get better sleep, or evaluating your relationship with alcohol. 

Perhaps alcohol has become a staple in your daily routine since the pandemic hit and it secretly scares you how much you have come to rely on it. 

Maybe you see it’s hurting you more than it’s helping you.

Regardless, I am glad you are here, taking a break from booze.

I am now 3 year sober, but I started with an alcohol free experiment myself. My goal was to be alcohol free for 100 Days. I made it to 70 Days and felt confident my overindulgence was cured. I did alcohol free challenges and experiments for 3 years before I decided to give it up for good.

I...

The world is full of bad news involving alcohol.

In my feed from just today:

• A grandma in Wisconsin killed her granddaughter in a car accident at 8:30 in the morning with a .092 blood alcohol level from the night before. 

• Britt Reid, son of Chiefs coach Andy Reid, had alcohol prior to a crash that injured two children leaving one 5 year old girl fighting for her life.

• Patients with liver disease die of COVID-19 at rates three times higher than those without it, and alcohol-associated liver disease has been found to increase the risk of death from COVID-19 by an additional 79% to 142%.

• Bruce Springsteen admitted to drinking 2 shots before DWI arrest. In his 2016 autobiography “Born to Run,” Springsteen said he avoided drugs and didn’t try alcohol until he was 22, partially because he saw how drinking affected his father.

• Women’s drinking is up 41% since the pandemic. 

• The Americas are the only region of...

If there was any question, after last night’s Super Bowl win, Tom Brady solidified his position at GOAT. He has worked hard to earn and keep this title. 

He has dedicated his life to playing football and winning Super Bowls. 

He is committed to a lifestyle that allows for super human performance. 

He goes to bed by 9 pm every night and allows for 9 hours of sleep. 

He keeps a rigorous fitness and nutritious diet routine. 

He avoids alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and late night snacks.

Some people think this is sad. 

That he is missing out on partying, junk food, and perhaps living a narrow life.

I think I would have thought that too when I was drinking.

As a drinker, I thought a good time was the opportunity to drink as much as I wanted.

I considered limitless alcohol consumption to be freedom, celebration, and rebellion.

Now, I see alcohol as the lock, on the cage of dependence, I was in. 

As a sober person, my value system has changed.

I no...

Many Americans have been drinking more since the coronavirus pandemic. 

American adults say they're drinking 14% more often during the coronavirus pandemic, according to a report in the journal JAMA Network Open. The increase in frequency of drinking for women was more pronounced, up 17% compared to last year.

Instances of heavy drinking among women, which for women was defined as four or more drinks within a couple of hours, spiked by 41%.

We know it is not a healthy choice, but disassociate from the idea that it negatively affects the body’s immune system. Weakening our defense against the exact virus we are trying to avoid. 

We are coping with our stress, fear, and boredom with alcohol.

At first it felt like just playing hooky, not going into the office and hunkering down at home. Making the best of the situation by Zoom Happy Hours and Quarantini’s.

Social connection and a sense of humor go a long way towards a healthy state of being and I commend these...

I’ve been married over 18 years, so I am not one to give advice on dating.

What I can tell you is that even as a married gal, I want to be seen as an attractive person.

My fun, flirty, party girl persona is something I started in high school, along with drinking.

I wanted the fun part to continue when I got sober.

I thought drinking and fun went together, but I was wrong.

I want to be the kind of person men want to be with and women want to be like.

I have many other mentors in my life that are these kind of people. 

They are attractive and magnetic.

They have a positive vibe that draws you into their orbit. 

We are pulled toward celebrities with this quality.

Chrissy Teigen, amiright?

As a young girl navigating first crushes and kisses, alcohol was my magic elixir. 

It gave me the liquid courage needed to stand at a party filled with intimidating upperclassmen. 

It eased the shakes of teenage self consciousness.

Alcohol gave me the nerve to talk...

As a Certified Professional Recovery Coach and Retired Party Animal, I know one main concern about ditching the drink, is the fear of a boring life. 

I understand this completely, because it was one of my greatest fears too. 

This is for the sober curious folks, a life of sobriety does not equal a boring life.  

Here’s some food for thought when taking a break from alcohol. 

Is it sobriety or pandemic?

If you are getting sober or experimenting with being alcohol free, during the COVID pandemic, separate feeling bored and shut in, with being sober. They are not the same thing. If you are bored because of the pandemic, consider yourself lucky, right? 

Is it temporary?

Being sober does not mean being shut in, unless you want it too. 

In early sobriety you might choose nights on the couch with Netflix over fighting cravings in alcohol induced environments. With practice you will grow your sober muscle and start to venture out more....

On one of my first nights out after I quit drinking, we went out for Friday Night pizza with another family. 

I got drunk on wine almost every Friday night at this couples’ home. 

I was nervous to order a drink when the waitress came around.

I didn't want to make any sort of announcement.

I wanted to go unnoticed.

My husband and I ordered Diet Cokes.

To be expected...immediately the interrogation from my friend started. 

I simply said "I quit drinking".

My friend's husband laughed.

I didn’t blame him.

I had been here before.

Why would he believe me?

He didn’t have to believe me.

I had to believe me.

And I did.

I knew this time was different.

But he didn't know that.

He didn't know the war within I had been fighting for so long.

When he saw I was serious and said “oh ok” with extreme sarcasm. 

My girlfriend tried to defend me.

I shrunk with annoyance and embarrassment, for being in this...

People like to joke about this weird time between Christmas and New Years like it’s some kind of twilight zone. 

Maybe it is for some people. 

It was for me.

I used to roll from one party gathering to the next. 

I would do the minimum to get showered and dressed .

I would then prop myself up and pour myself a drink. 

I would fake laugh and use sarcasm to tell everybody how well I was doing. 

I typically started drinking late morning, upon arrival.

I would stuff myself with food or not eat at all.

I would either pass out early, or push myself to keep partying well past my bedtime, in the spirit of holidays and togetherness.

I would start each new year utterly exhausted from the year before and the final push in the last few weeks would tip me over the edge. 

I did not enjoy the holidaying, but I loved the excuse to drink more, and more often. 

The holidays stressed me out. 

I was adding more things to do to my...

Zac Clark, the final rose recipient, and fiance of recent Bachelorette, Taysia Adams,  is the best addition to The Bachelor  family.  Zac represents a bright light for the recovery community.

I personally can't thank Zac enough for sharing the upside to a life of recovery.

It was a whirlwind adventure of going nowhere, in this unprecedented season of The Bachelorette on the grounds of La Quinta Resort.

Dare I say, it was also one of the most dramatic seasons ever?

The best part of this season, in my opinion, was Zac Clark.

He was not only there for the right reasons, he was a role model of life in recovery.

Zac shined a light on all the best qualities people in recovery have to offer.

Taysia noticed immediately, “he’s different.”

He is different and isn’t that wonderful? 

In a Bachelor world of sameness, Taysia was able to find someone truly unique. 

It is different to choose a life of sobriety, in a world that...