I fell to my knees the morning of February 20th, 2018 and surrendered to my husband.
I was crying, miserable, terrified.
For the first time in my whole life I said the words that seemed impossible to me, “I need help.” He held me and we cried together.
I made a very wobbly decision that I was never going to drink again. I was somehow going to become the kind of person that doesn’t drink and in doing this we both knew our whole life would change. There was no other option. The path of alcohol led to complete destruction of me and our family and I wasn't having it. In order to save my life I would have to be sober for the rest of my life. I was so sad about it. I felt like a failure. Defective. Weak. I was scared. My life was clearly not working for me, but yet I was clinging to what I knew and I didn’t want anything to change.
I was mostly afraid of how this would affect my relationships. I wouldn’t want to...
It has taken me a long time to admit this, I was addicted to alcohol.
To my inner circle, my addiction looked like drinking too much, too often.
Getting drunk too fast.
Passing out too quickly.
Getting sloppy, slurry, while the people around me were just starting a buzz.
To me, my addiction looked like disappointment.
An uncontrollable downward spiral that picked up velocity at every corner.
It was a dirty secret to be hidden away.
A spill to be cleaned up quickly, before it became a stain.
To most people, my addiction looked like someone who never drank too much.
Someone who had it all together, someone who could moderate.
I drank around other people and I also drank alone.
Alcohol is an addictive substance that creates dependence and changes the brain.
I didn’t see myself as an addicted person, until after I got out of it.
I think this is true for most people.
I was a loud happy drunk at times.
I was sad,...
New Years Eve has always felt like one of those days where you are supposed to be having more fun than you actually are.
I have done almost every kind of New Year's Eve you can imagine.
I have been in a sequined dress in the middle of the biggest party in downtown Chicago.
I have been asleep in my bed before midnight.
I have hosted a bash complete with champagne toasts in vintage glasses.
I had people I didn’t even know attending, so you know it was a wild time.
I have written intentions and literally thrown them into a campfire.
I have declared resolutions and not.
Picked a glorious, fancy word for the year and none at all.
Made a list of goals and had no goal.
I have done a countdown at 8 pm with young kids.
I have had blowers, headbands, top hats, and streamers.
I've kissed strangers and crushes and lovers and friends.
One year I rang in the New Year at a wedding. 9 months pregnant.
I have been drunk.
I distinctly remember a few holidays past.
One Christmas, many moons ago, I had 2 young, toddler-ish girls.
It was 1 pm on Christmas Eve and we had already completed everything I had planned until we opened a few gifts after dinner.
I was bored out of my mind.
It was supposed to be a very festive day and here we were with nothing to do.
The girls were crawling all over me with excitement in their adorable sequined dresses, and perfect baby curls.
I did not know what to do with them.
We brought gifts to the neighbors.
We decorated cookies.
We painted our nails.
We sang carols.
All before noon and there were hours and hours to go before bedtime.
I opened a bottle of wine as a sigh of relief and we started playing a card game.
I was literally bored out of my mind.
I loved my darling daughters so very much, but I did not want to play 6 hours of Go Fish.
The wine, although a bit too early in...
I was a woman who could do it all, until I couldn’t.
I am a 40 something Mom, married to a wonderful, dependable guy.
I have the privilege of raising smart, kind, talented, and athletic teenage girls.
I am a doer, a go-getter, a highly motivated seeker.
At times, I can be highly competitive.
I have an impressive resume with consistent promotions to bigger and better jobs with more responsibility, and fancier titles.
I own a nice home, surrounded by wonderful neighbors.
I decorate appropriately for each holiday.
I have a circle of smart and sassy friends.
My Mom is my best friend and top supporter in everything I do.
I had both a happy childhood, and childhood trauma, as most of us do.
I was always supported and loved.
I knew I was loved 100% by many, many people since the day I was born.
This doesn’t paint a picture of what I am about to tell you.
I found myself with...
There is no one way to ditch the drink.
There is no right way either.
There is only the way that works for you.
It can be a process of trial and error to figure it out.
Some of my clients come to me wanting “a program” and some coaches offer programs.
The way I see it, the ways to remove alcohol from your life are as unique as the people looking to ditch it.
There are a few Universal tools such as finding support, education, and community.
Often a spiritual practice is included, but not always.
My work with client’s is very personal and highly customized.
There is no “how to” guide or step by step process to easily ditch the drink.
In all cases I offer support, resources, encouragement, and accountability.
How this plays out is different for each person I support.
Many of my client’s are used to following rules, taking...
There’s a lot of information out there about what changes in sobriety.
You go to bed instead of opening a second bottle for good time’s sake.
You meditate to escape the incessant critical voice inside your head.
It sounds cliche but it was true for me.
Not directly from not drinking, it’s not that obvious.
But gradually you realize no one is reaching out to you.
Maybe they never were?
Maybe it was you forcing relationships (and almost everything in your life).
When I gave up drinking I gave up forcing everything too.
This is also true.
This seems like such a little consequence for the value gained.
You sleep better and your skin starts to glow.
Your blood pressure, weight, and cholesterol return to normal.
These results are almost always guaranteed.
I recently spent 3 nights in Vegas as a nondrinker.
It was my best trip to Vegas ever.
I had an absolute blast with none of the consequences from previous alcohol induced trips.
You must be wondering...
What did I do?
What did I drink?
Let me tell you all about it!
We arrived in the evening and immediately got ready to meet friends for dinner at SushiSamba.
The restaurant is uniquely themed with Peruvian, Brazilian, and Japanese flavors.
We ordered the chef’s special where they just keep bringing out the best of the day.
This included Wagu beef cooked on a rock at our table.
It was so delicious I will never be the same after tasting it!
They have a mocktail menu, featuring three drinks.
Coconut milk, pineapple and mango. Served long, over ice.
Muddled blackberry and raspberry, topped with lime sparkling water. Served long, over ice.
Fresh cucumber juice, agave nectar, topped with sparkling water. Served long,...
I’ve been to Vegas seven times.
For five of them, I went as a drinking party girl.
For one, I was doing a sober curious experiment.
On my most recent trip, I arrived in Vegas as a happy, healthy, comfortable, non drinker.
There is such a thing, and I am proof of it.
I have enjoying my alcohol free lifestyle, so much, I made it my career.
I have evolved into a Certified Professional Recovery and Life Coach, a Business Owner, Sober Influencer, Alcohol Free Advocate, Coach Recruiter, and Corporate Wellness Consultant with almost 4 years of sobriety under my belt.
I am here to tell you that Vegas is better sober.
I know this is hard to believe.
I've done Vegas like a train wreck.
I always felt like I should have been having more fun than I actually was.
I felt like I should be somewhere else, I was never content in the moment I was in.
I had FOMO.
I wanted to be everywhere at once.
I was often irritated that the drinks...
Talking about substance use is the missing link in Corporate Wellness conversations.
We have this idea that people are addicts or they are not addicts.
We think you have a drinking problem or you don’t.
We think an addict is living under a bridge somewhere drinking from a brown paper bag. We think everyone else is someone who casually enjoys one glass of wine at dinner.
We leave no alternative scenarios for a person’s relationship to alcohol, in our all in or nothing at all thinking when it comes to alcohol.
The truth is 70% of people with substance use disorders are working full or part time.
There is a large spectrum of people relying on substances to cope and self soothe whether that be for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
My clients come to me because they fear their growing dependence on alcohol. They see that it is fueling their anxiety and depression.
My clients are highly educated, extremely accomplished, and very successful. They are lawyers, doctors, top...