1000 Days Free from Alcohol.

Wow!

I am super proud of me.

I can’t believe I used to start everyday on the wrong side of the bed:

hungover, full of guilt/shame/fear, physically ill and in a bad mood.

How did I do this for years and then hate myself when I wasn’t happy with my life?

If I could look back on myself, on Day 1…

this is what I would tell her.

Listen Honey,

Start by tuning in, instead of tuning out.

You don’t need to seek outside yourself for love, acceptance, and peace of mind.

Pursuing meaning and purpose will prove so much more valuable than the pursuit of pleasure.

Those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter.

You are worthy, you are enough, and there is nothing wrong with you.

You’ve done a great job dealing with some heavy shit, give yourself credit.

Not everyone is going to understand or like you and that’s ok.

You don’t have to be perfect, you get to be whole.

Discomfort and pain are part of life,...

It is Saturday morning. 

I don’t have to get up.

It is 6:30 and still dark out.

I roll around in bed.

Pet the dog.

Lay and enjoy the slowness of the morning without the rush to get up.

My eyes are wide awake.

My body feels mostly good.

Maybe slightly puffy from the sushi last night, but my head is clear. 

I awake with energy and joy.

I decide to get up out of bed and make myself my first cup of coffee.

I am excited for this early morning alone time, because I am at the end of a great book.

I turn on the lamp, grab my blanket, and settle in on the couch.

I finish this 5 star read, as the sun rises. 

I treat myself to a Starbucks run for my next cup of coffee.

Today is Halloween.

I have a fun day of holiday baking, crafts, and movies planned with my teenage daughters.

Because of the COVID pandemic, we are not attending our usual costume parties, treat or treating, and other neighborhood activities.  

We planned our own Halloween agenda weeks ago. 

I...

Living alcohol free is absolutely magical, but it doesn’t feel that way at first.

When I first quit drinking, I had a lot of fears.

MostlyI feared that life after booze would be boring.

I was terrified that I would lose friends. 

The truth is, my early sobriety was pretty boring.

I tucked in bed early on most days.

I avoided many social gatherings.

I immersed myself in books, podcasts, blogs, and education on alcohol. 

I didn’t know how to have fun without alcohol.

I only knew how to be a party girl, with a permanent drink in my hand. 

I had a big fear of missing out on fun.

My friendships changed too.

Everyone, including my closest friends, were unsure how to support me. 

We always drank together.

What now?

I was itchy in my new alcohol free costume.

I was becoming a new person.

I was taking off the mask of alcohol in my 40’s.

I had worn this cover up since my teen years.

I didn’t know the alcohol...

Is quitting drinking hard?

Yes it is. 

It’s excruciating at times. 

But you know what else is hard?  

Running a marathon.

Having a baby.

Completing a big project at home or at work.

And you know what else? 

They are all absolutely worth it. 

Anything worth anything is going to require effort and getting sober is no different.

It’s a huge accomplishment that doesn’t come easy. 

There’s a risk too.

What if your relationship to your partner changes?

What if you lose friends?

What if people find out?

What if some of your loved ones don’t understand?

What if you don’t want to do the things you are used to doing?

What if you change jobs?

What if you don’t fit in anymore?

All of these things happened to me.

Every single one. 

Endings are hard.

Really hard.

Heartbreaking.

You know what else happened?

I learned to choose myself.

I learned my spouse loved me enough he was willing to...

Sober October is the second most popular alcohol free month of the year, followed by Dry January. As the weather gets cooler it's a perfect time to hunker down, and hit the reset button on your drinking before the holiday season picks up. 

If you are like me, many sober experiments start with motivation and excitement. This can dwindle quickly when you are faced with your first cravings. 

Here’s a few common tricks to avoid and treats to implement for a successful Sober October. 

Tricks

Tough emotions

If you’re a regular drinker it will take some time for your mind, body, and spirit to reset. It is common to wake up and immediately wonder who many drinks you’ve had the night before. Dreaming about drinking is also very common. Without alcohol to numb your emotions you may experience intense emotions. This will be uncomfortable but you can allow yourself to move through it. Feelings are only temporary. With two full moons this month, your emotions...

When asked what I do, I tell people I help others take a break from alcohol.

Then I launch into a definition of gray area drinking, coaching, and ending the stigma.

People usually respond with, yeah you don’t have to quit forever though, right?

You don’t work with like really bad alcoholics?

There’s a difference between someone who can never drink again and someone that does Dry January.

Then I rant about alcohol being toxic substance that creates dependency.

I talk about it being progressive, and blah, blah, blah.

But here’s the thing:

What if alcohol was poisonous for everyone and not just some of us?

What if anyone had the potential to become an ALCOHOLIC, because of alcohol?

What if anyone, whether ALCOHOLIC or not just decided to stop putting poison in their body?

What if anyone, no matter how much alcohol they consumed, just decided to start looking internally instead of externally for their own peace and happiness?

What if not drinking ever again led...

I have had nothing but JOMO this Labor Day.

The Joy Of Missing Out. 

JOMO is new to me and I am still a bit shocked at just how much JOMO I have. 

This makes me question my past decisions, but anyway...I am here now. 

Please do not confuse me with being a bore, or a prude, or a homebody.

Actually, I am those things too, but still...

I am an extrovert. 

A party girl. 

I am someone up for adventure. 

Most of the time, I still party sober. 

I go to lakes, pools, boats, and bbq’s on summer holiday weekends. 

However, I did none of that this Labor Day weekend and I absolutely loved it. 

When I was in my first few weeks, (and even months) sober I tucked in early and a lot.

Staying sober was my priority so I avoided anything that triggered me. 

This was nearly everything. 

I was also boring myself to death. 

As a girl with an edge, I wondered how I was ever going to keep up this Puritan-type lifestyle. 

I like to...

Shame on you Big Alcohol.

How dare you market your poison to Mothers.

You are selling us a carefree afternoon with a crisp chardonnay in the sun.

You are selling us a sip to take the edge off a long day.

You are selling us relief from the high stress of parenting.

You are selling us deeper connections with our spouses.

You are selling us empowerment with each other. 

You are selling us glamour, luxury, and a vacation from the daily grind.

These are all the things we desire and none of it comes from alcohol.

You know that.

You know that you are selling lies.

Your lies take away our power and hurt our future generations.

It’s the worst thing you can do.

I don’t know how you sleep at night.

You suggest we need wine to help us parent.

You tell our kids we are drinking because of them.

I was sold, hook, line and sinker on your promises that never delivered. 

I was duped.

I drank your wine.

I sucked down that elixir and waited for the magic to happen.

I...

Will I lose weight if I quit drinking?

This is one of my most asked questions.

I can’t guarantee anything about the scale, but I can share my experience.

When I quit drinking, I let myself eat whatever I wanted, with abandon.

I didn’t have a sweet tooth until I gave up alcohol.

Without wine, my body craved sugar and I indulged.

Alcohol had a hold on my brain and giving it up was hard.

Super hard.

I let myself consume whatever I wanted, craved, and needed.

I only had one exception: no alcohol.

That was the only simple rule imposed.

For me, this was the only way to make it through the first hours, days, weeks and months.

Giving up alcohol was enough.

More than enough.

This was my life’s work.

To grab a Twizzler instead of a drink.

This simple type of transformation is profound.

If you know, you know.

I went out for coffee and dessert instead of drinks.

I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.

Whatever tasted good and whatever comforted me.

I allowed it.

...