What happened to my friendships when I got sober?

Navigating friendships and finding people to support you in sobriety can be one of the most challenging parts of getting sober. 

How did my friendships change when I ditched the drink?

I lost people and it hurt.

I...

May is the busiest month of the year in my house.

I think this is true for many families, especially those with kids.

There are all the end of the year extras that completely fill our calendar. 

We have award ceremonies for academics, sports tournaments, and more. 

It's the final...

I used to do a lot of drinking when I got home from time away. 

I had a sunken feeling of being home. It felt like Sunday Scaries on steroids. I never knew what to do with myself. I didn’t know how to end the “good timing”. I didn’t know how to transition back...

I had such a serendipitous experience on spring break. We stayed in Naples, FL, for the first half with family, and in Treasure Island, FL, just the four of us (meeting our Chicagoland neighbors for dinner one night) for the second half of our stay.

We had a hotel on the beach for the...

I was inspired to take on the 75 Hard Challenge after seeing some of my Instagram friends do it. I started on a bit of a whim. I didn’t think much about it and just decided to do it. 

It is a big undertaking and a huge commitment in some ways. 

In other ways, it was much the same...

At four years sober, looking back I can see how my whole life revolved around alcohol. 

St. Paddy’s Day is, of course, a huge drinking holiday. All I needed in the past was alcohol to make it a success.

So much so, that it was my first night  out just 6 weeks after...

In an alcohol obsessed society it is so hard to be sober.

As a child growing up in small town Wisconsin I had no alcohol free role models. 

Every adult I knew, minus two family members, drank beer. 

It was my understanding that the two people in my family who no...

I fell to my knees the morning of February 20th, 2018 and surrendered to my husband. 

I was crying, miserable, terrified. 

For the first time in my whole life I said the words that seemed impossible to me,  “I need help.” He held me and we cried together. 

...

It has taken me a long time to admit this, I was addicted to alcohol.  

To my inner circle, my addiction looked like drinking too much, too often.

Getting drunk too fast.

Passing out too quickly.

Getting sloppy, slurry, while the people around me were just starting a buzz.

 ...

New Years Eve has always felt like one of those days where you are supposed to be having more fun than you actually are. 

I have done almost every kind of New Year's Eve you can imagine. 

I have been in a sequined dress in the middle of the biggest party in downtown Chicago. 

I...

I distinctly remember a few holidays past.

One Christmas, many moons ago, I had 2 young, toddler-ish girls.

It was 1 pm on Christmas Eve and we had already completed everything I had planned until we opened a few gifts after dinner. 

I was bored out of my mind.

It...

I was a woman who could do it all, until I couldn’t. 

I am a 40 something Mom, married to a wonderful, dependable guy. 

I have the privilege of raising smart, kind, talented, and athletic teenage girls.

I am a doer, a go-getter, a highly motivated seeker.

At times, I...

There is no one way to ditch the drink. 

There is no right way either. 

There is only the way that works for you. 

It can be a process of trial and error to figure it out.

Some of my clients come to me wanting “a program” and some coaches...

There’s a lot of information out there about what changes in sobriety.

You read books and run marathons instead of sipping Chardonnay to take the edge off.

You go to bed instead of opening a second bottle for good time’s sake.

You meditate to escape the incessant critical voice inside...

I recently spent 3 nights in Vegas as a nondrinker. 

It was my best trip to Vegas ever.

I had an absolute blast with none of the consequences from previous alcohol induced trips. 

You must be wondering...

What did I do?

What did I drink?

Let me tell you all about it!

We arrived in the...

I’ve been to Vegas seven times. 

For five of them, I went as a drinking party girl. 

For one, I was doing a sober, curious experiment.

On my most recent trip, I arrived in Vegas as a happy, healthy, comfortable, non drinker.

There is such a thing, and I am proof of it.

I have...

Talking about substance use is the missing link in Corporate Wellness conversations.

We have this idea that people are addicts or they are not addicts.

We think you have a drinking problem or you don’t.

We think an addict is living under a bridge somewhere drinking from a brown paper bag....

Happy National Sober Day! 

I celebrate today because I am 3 ½ years sober. 

I am a Certified Professional Life and Recovery Coach, and a Certified Facilitator of Addiction Awareness.

I wasn’t always so enthusiastic about ditching the drink. 

...

I was talking with a client last week and she mentioned the weekend might be hard. 

Why? 

Because it’s Labor Day, a three day holiday weekend, and the end of summer.

It hit me that I hadn’t even thought about that. 

I did have a trip out of...

I always preach #sobertnoboring but the more I think about it...

...maybe I am boring.

Maybe my sober life is boring?

Maybe I don’t have to defend this anymore.

Maybe this will not inspire you to quit drinking.

Maybe this is your biggest fear come true.

It was mine. 

I didn't want to...

On my vacation we did so much lazing around.

Just napping, sitting, lying, being. 

So much nothing. 

It was the perfect place to do it.

We were always poolside, with a view of the ocean waves.

Some days we were under the shade of a cabana. 

I would read and sleep and...

Why cant I stop drinking?

It is a question that has pained millions, including me. 

These words are typed into a Google search, daily by people feeling broken, confused, and desperate for answers. 

I am here to tell you, there is nothing wrong with you. 

It's not you, it's...

A comment, I found to be incredibly condescending and offensive, was made on my Ditched the Drink Facebook page, by an acquaintance of mine.  

The post was about me wearing my sobriety out loud.

The picture was me (literally) wearing the words SOBER AF on my shirt.

If you follow...

I used alcohol to turn off the noise in my head. 

I had a very loud inner critic and anxiety about nearly everything.

I love the boozy, woozy, relaxed,

“everything will be ok”

feeling my first sips of wine gave me. 

What a relief! From myself.

It honestly felt like...