This year, more than ever perhaps, the negative effects of consuming too much alcohol are coming to light.

A study by JAMA Network found heavy drinking among women is up 41% from 2019 - 2020. Alcohol related deaths have also increased. Excessive drinking increases one’s risk for anxiety, depression, suicide, seven different types of cancer, stroke, and heart disease. 

Alcohol has been an easy “go to” holiday gift for business contacts, neighbors, teachers, and hosts.

 Enjoy these healthier alternatives to gifting this holiday season. 

1-Beauty

Why not treat someone special to some pampering? Bath bombs, face masks, sugar scrubs, and more. The nudge for time alone will feel like a complete luxury for anyone who’s been wearing all the hats this year. Luxurious spa products are a great step in the right direction. 

2-Comfort

Tis’ the season for fuzzy socks, cozy pajamas, and soft blankets. You can find these items in any...

The holidays can feel stressful.

This year, perhaps even more so, with the current state of the pandemic. 

You may be feeling health concerns, financial fears, and decreased mental health. 

There's a general consensus that times are tough and alcohol helps. 

Drinking is promoted as a way to cope with the madness.

The “at least there’s wine” mentality is harmful to many.

Alcohol actually adds to the exhaustion, anxious feelings, and regrets that you may already be feeling. 

Here’s a few tips for managing the holidays in healthy ways:

1- Acknowledge the loss.

The holidays may not feel like "The Most Wonderful Time of Year", if you are missing someone you love. Grief is amplified during the holiday season. Whether you are missing someone you are not getting together with this year, or missing someone who has passed, this can be a time of deep sadness. Allow yourself to move through your feelings. Give yourself the space you need to cry,...

We all have a money story.

Mine is that I was a middle class girl raised by a single Mom.

This makes for a “I grew up poor” mentality sometimes.

I also think I am a Princess and my inheritance will surprise me someday.

Until then...

I deserve this...

...and I also deserve that. 

I can have whatever I want, because I am a spoiled brat.

Whether or not I can afford it...

...it should be mine because I said so.

But also, I am not worthy of any of it. 

I should have nothing.

I should give it all away.

I should desire nothing. 

Poor is good. 

Help the poor.

Be poor.

Don’t make money. 

Wanting money is bad.

Having money is worse.

So it’s all very complicated for me, and likely for you too.

This comes into play when we look at quitting drinking.

I hear from people all the time that want to quit drinking, they want to invest in themselves, but they just can’t do it. 

There is another thing that takes priority...

...and...

1000 Days Free from Alcohol.

Wow!

I am super proud of me.

I can’t believe I used to start everyday on the wrong side of the bed:

hungover, full of guilt/shame/fear, physically ill and in a bad mood.

How did I do this for years and then hate myself when I wasn’t happy with my life?

If I could look back on myself, on Day 1…

this is what I would tell her.

Listen Honey,

Start by tuning in, instead of tuning out.

You don’t need to seek outside yourself for love, acceptance, and peace of mind.

Pursuing meaning and purpose will prove so much more valuable than the pursuit of pleasure.

Those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter.

You are worthy, you are enough, and there is nothing wrong with you.

You’ve done a great job dealing with some heavy shit, give yourself credit.

Not everyone is going to understand or like you and that’s ok.

You don’t have to be perfect, you get to be whole.

Discomfort and pain are part of life,...

Living alcohol free is absolutely magical, but it doesn’t feel that way at first.

When I first quit drinking, I had a lot of fears.

MostlyI feared that life after booze would be boring.

I was terrified that I would lose friends. 

The truth is, my early sobriety was pretty boring.

I tucked in bed early on most days.

I avoided many social gatherings.

I immersed myself in books, podcasts, blogs, and education on alcohol. 

I didn’t know how to have fun without alcohol.

I only knew how to be a party girl, with a permanent drink in my hand. 

I had a big fear of missing out on fun.

My friendships changed too.

Everyone, including my closest friends, were unsure how to support me. 

We always drank together.

What now?

I was itchy in my new alcohol free costume.

I was becoming a new person.

I was taking off the mask of alcohol in my 40’s.

I had worn this cover up since my teen years.

I didn’t know the alcohol...

Is quitting drinking hard?

Yes it is. 

It’s excruciating at times. 

But you know what else is hard?  

Running a marathon.

Having a baby.

Completing a big project at home or at work.

And you know what else? 

They are all absolutely worth it. 

Anything worth anything is going to require effort and getting sober is no different.

It’s a huge accomplishment that doesn’t come easy. 

There’s a risk too.

What if your relationship to your partner changes?

What if you lose friends?

What if people find out?

What if some of your loved ones don’t understand?

What if you don’t want to do the things you are used to doing?

What if you change jobs?

What if you don’t fit in anymore?

All of these things happened to me.

Every single one. 

Endings are hard.

Really hard.

Heartbreaking.

You know what else happened?

I learned to choose myself.

I learned my spouse loved me enough he was willing to...

I have had nothing but JOMO this Labor Day.

The Joy Of Missing Out. 

JOMO is new to me and I am still a bit shocked at just how much JOMO I have. 

This makes me question my past decisions, but anyway...I am here now. 

Please do not confuse me with being a bore, or a prude, or a homebody.

Actually, I am those things too, but still...

I am an extrovert. 

A party girl. 

I am someone up for adventure. 

Most of the time, I still party sober. 

I go to lakes, pools, boats, and bbq’s on summer holiday weekends. 

However, I did none of that this Labor Day weekend and I absolutely loved it. 

When I was in my first few weeks, (and even months) sober I tucked in early and a lot.

Staying sober was my priority so I avoided anything that triggered me. 

This was nearly everything. 

I was also boring myself to death. 

As a girl with an edge, I wondered how I was ever going to keep up this Puritan-type lifestyle. 

I like to...

Mama’s, I know you are stressed out. 

School is starting and the kids aren’t going anywhere.

In addition to your job at home, as carpooler, housekeeper, chef, and CEO of family scheduling, you are now expected to also act as teacher’s support, tech support, early education childcare, and more.

Your multiple kids need to be logged into multiple meetings with hundreds of links, passwords, ID’s, and emails. 

It’s a lot to keep up with and you likely have your own demanding job. 

Many of you have kids who need special assistance in any number of ways.

It is overwhelming.

Your feelings of overwhelm, panic, anxiety, and exhaustion are valid.

If you feel like you are losing your mind, I don’t blame you one bit. 

You need and deserve a break. 

"Me Time", as they say.

You need time away, time alone, and time to focus on you. 

This is often advertised as a woman in a bathtub with a glass of wine.

When...

Along with another chaperone, I took my 15 year old daughter and 5 of her girlfriends, to a lake house in Michigan, for a long weekend.

The weekend away was like a mini vacay.

A sober, alcohol free, rated PG, delightful vacation.

 Is it possible to have fun without drinking?

When I was drinking, I didn't think so.

When I was newly sober, I wasn't sure either. 

Now my vacations have gotten even better because they don't revolve around alcohol.

When I was drinking, alcohol crowded my thoughts.

Bringing drinks, mixing drinks, getting more drinks, keeping drinks cool, finding the right tool to open drinks, starting to drink, counting drinks, drinking more, cleaning up after drinking, replenishing drinks, rationing drinks from others, and recovering from drinking, were the center of my vacations. 

This Girls Trip with my daughter was nothing like that.

Here's the play by play:

Stop for dinner on the way up. 

Order the fried pickles/frickles.

Realize everyone in the...

If you are newly sober, or giving alcohol a break, the upcoming holiday weekend can bring on anxiety. How will you party sober? How will you turn down a drink? 

I understand these fears. In fact, I was sober for months and feeling good until I found myself completely unprepared for a Fourth of July Booze Fest. 

By 10 am I had mimosa in hand and by the time the fireworks started I was a disappointment to everyone including myself. 

You can learn from my failure. Here’s my best tips for thriving an alcohol free holiday weekend! 

1 - Plan to succeed or prepare to fail

You cannot go into a party with a “wait and see” attitude. If you think maybe you’ll have a drink, you are guaranteed to have a drink. As a drinker, our brain is wired for it. Our default mode is set to alcohol. You have to go into the weekend with a sober mindset. You can tell yourself “I am not drinking today.” You don’t...