On one of my first nights out after I quit drinking, we went out for Friday Night pizza with another family. 

I got drunk on wine almost every Friday night at this couples’ home. 

I was nervous to order a drink when the waitress came around.

I didn't want to make any sort of announcement.

I wanted to go unnoticed.

My husband and I ordered Diet Cokes.

To be expected...immediately the interrogation from my friend started. 

I simply said "I quit drinking".

My friend's husband laughed.

I didn’t blame him.

I had been here before.

Why would he believe me?

He didn’t have to believe me.

I had to believe me.

And I did.

I knew this time was different.

But he didn't know that.

He didn't know the war within I had been fighting for so long.

When he saw I was serious and said “oh ok” with extreme sarcasm. 

My girlfriend tried to defend me.

I shrunk with annoyance and embarrassment, for being in this...

People like to joke about this weird time between Christmas and New Years like it’s some kind of twilight zone. 

Maybe it is for some people. 

It was for me.

I used to roll from one party gathering to the next. 

I would do the minimum to get showered and dressed .

I would then prop myself up and pour myself a drink. 

I would fake laugh and use sarcasm to tell everybody how well I was doing. 

I typically started drinking late morning, upon arrival.

I would stuff myself with food or not eat at all.

I would either pass out early, or push myself to keep partying well past my bedtime, in the spirit of holidays and togetherness.

I would start each new year utterly exhausted from the year before and the final push in the last few weeks would tip me over the edge. 

I did not enjoy the holidaying, but I loved the excuse to drink more, and more often. 

The holidays stressed me out. 

I was adding more things to do to my...

Zac Clark, the final rose recipient, and fiance of recent Bachelorette, Taysia Adams,  is the best addition to The Bachelor  family.  Zac represents a bright light for the recovery community.

I personally can't thank Zac enough for sharing the upside to a life of recovery.

It was a whirlwind adventure of going nowhere, in this unprecedented season of The Bachelorette on the grounds of La Quinta Resort.

Dare I say, it was also one of the most dramatic seasons ever?

The best part of this season, in my opinion, was Zac Clark.

He was not only there for the right reasons, he was a role model of life in recovery.

Zac shined a light on all the best qualities people in recovery have to offer.

Taysia noticed immediately, “he’s different.”

He is different and isn’t that wonderful? 

In a Bachelor world of sameness, Taysia was able to find someone truly unique. 

It is different to choose a life of sobriety, in a world that...

Answering your questions about how I did it and how it feels to ditch the drink.

In short, at first slow and painful. 

Eventually, absolutely exhilarating! 

This year, more than ever perhaps, the negative effects of consuming too much alcohol are coming to light.

A study by JAMA Network found heavy drinking among women is up 41% from 2019 - 2020. Alcohol related deaths have also increased. Excessive drinking increases one’s risk for anxiety, depression, suicide, seven different types of cancer, stroke, and heart disease. 

Alcohol has been an easy “go to” holiday gift for business contacts, neighbors, teachers, and hosts.

 Enjoy these healthier alternatives to gifting this holiday season. 

1-Beauty

Why not treat someone special to some pampering? Bath bombs, face masks, sugar scrubs, and more. The nudge for time alone will feel like a complete luxury for anyone who’s been wearing all the hats this year. Luxurious spa products are a great step in the right direction. 

2-Comfort

Tis’ the season for fuzzy socks, cozy pajamas, and soft blankets. You can find these items in any...

The holidays can feel stressful.

This year, perhaps even more so, with the current state of the pandemic. 

You may be feeling health concerns, financial fears, and decreased mental health. 

There's a general consensus that times are tough and alcohol helps. 

Drinking is promoted as a way to cope with the madness.

The “at least there’s wine” mentality is harmful to many.

Alcohol actually adds to the exhaustion, anxious feelings, and regrets that you may already be feeling. 

Here’s a few tips for managing the holidays in healthy ways:

1- Acknowledge the loss.

The holidays may not feel like "The Most Wonderful Time of Year", if you are missing someone you love. Grief is amplified during the holiday season. Whether you are missing someone you are not getting together with this year, or missing someone who has passed, this can be a time of deep sadness. Allow yourself to move through your feelings. Give yourself the space you need to cry,...

We all have a money story.

Mine is that I was a middle class girl raised by a single Mom.

This makes for a “I grew up poor” mentality sometimes.

I also think I am a Princess and my inheritance will surprise me someday.

Until then...

I deserve this...

...and I also deserve that. 

I can have whatever I want, because I am a spoiled brat.

Whether or not I can afford it...

...it should be mine because I said so.

But also, I am not worthy of any of it. 

I should have nothing.

I should give it all away.

I should desire nothing. 

Poor is good. 

Help the poor.

Be poor.

Don’t make money. 

Wanting money is bad.

Having money is worse.

So it’s all very complicated for me, and likely for you too.

This comes into play when we look at quitting drinking.

I hear from people all the time that want to quit drinking, they want to invest in themselves, but they just can’t do it. 

There is another thing that takes priority...

...and...

1000 Days Free from Alcohol.

Wow!

I am super proud of me.

I can’t believe I used to start everyday on the wrong side of the bed:

hungover, full of guilt/shame/fear, physically ill and in a bad mood.

How did I do this for years and then hate myself when I wasn’t happy with my life?

If I could look back on myself, on Day 1…

this is what I would tell her.

Listen Honey,

Start by tuning in, instead of tuning out.

You don’t need to seek outside yourself for love, acceptance, and peace of mind.

Pursuing meaning and purpose will prove so much more valuable than the pursuit of pleasure.

Those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter.

You are worthy, you are enough, and there is nothing wrong with you.

You’ve done a great job dealing with some heavy shit, give yourself credit.

Not everyone is going to understand or like you and that’s ok.

You don’t have to be perfect, you get to be whole.

Discomfort and pain are part of life,...

It is Saturday morning. 

I don’t have to get up.

It is 6:30 and still dark out.

I roll around in bed.

Pet the dog.

Lay and enjoy the slowness of the morning without the rush to get up.

My eyes are wide awake.

My body feels mostly good.

Maybe slightly puffy from the sushi last night, but my head is clear. 

I awake with energy and joy.

I decide to get up out of bed and make myself my first cup of coffee.

I am excited for this early morning alone time, because I am at the end of a great book.

I turn on the lamp, grab my blanket, and settle in on the couch.

I finish this 5 star read, as the sun rises. 

I treat myself to a Starbucks run for my next cup of coffee.

Today is Halloween.

I have a fun day of holiday baking, crafts, and movies planned with my teenage daughters.

Because of the COVID pandemic, we are not attending our usual costume parties, treat or treating, and other neighborhood activities.  

We planned our own Halloween agenda weeks ago. 

I...