23 Ways to turn Down a Drink

Uncategorized Jul 01, 2019

You’re sober but you still want to socialize and you aren’t sure how to handle it when someone offers you a drink. Its anxiety provoking to have to figure out how to turn down a drink.

That was a hard part about going out sober for me.

Worrying about other people’s reactions. I would turn down a drink and just hold my breath and wait for the responses, and wonder how I would handle them.

Here’s the thing, when you make a change it's uncomfortable for other people. Here's the other thing it's not your job to comfort them.

You just take care of you and they will figure it out.

After a few practice rounds its gets easier. Soon people stop asking. It's worthy to note someone’s reaction to you not drinking says a lot more about them than it does about you.

Nowadays, I still get invited to things. People still want to hang with me. It's just known that I don’t drink. I feel really proud of it, but I was shaky in the beginning when I was trying on a...

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Alcohol took the nicest girl in the senior class and my heart is broken

Uncategorized Jun 26, 2019

Alcohol took the nicest girl in the senior class and my heart is broken. Alcohol didn’t care how nice Becky was. Alcohol paid no attention to how fiercely she loved her daughters. Becky was facing unbearable grief, and alcohol used that against her. Becky was friendly, funny, and loyal, and alcohol took her down the darkest path and left her there. 


I am a freshman in high school trying out for the Pom Dance team. I love to dance but I am terrified to try out. It is so much pressure and I don’t know if I am good enough. The are so many senior girls on the team and I am intimidated. I look up to them, but I am scared of them too. They don’t know me and they might be mean. I am insecure and I have to dance in front of them with my legs shaking. The only safe place to look is at this one senior girl that I am not scared of at all. I don’t have to be scared of her because she is nice. Her name is Becky. You know she is nice because you can just see it...

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Workplace Alcohol Free Wellness Challenge

Uncategorized Jun 22, 2019

You want your workforce to optimize peak performance.

You want to hire candidates that are on top of their game.

You look for employees that bring energy, initiative and creative solutions to complex problems.

You want a physically and mentally healthy workforce.

You reward your employees by serving alcohol at happy hours, client dinners, and appreciation events. Alcohol negatively affects energy, creativity, and health = all the things you want for and from your employees.

I invite you to consider an alcohol free workplace challenge. The results have already been proven. Improved relationships, better health, increased confidence, better sleep, and increased mental energy.

You already know the effects from drinking alcohol are low level depression, poor sleep, mental hangover fog, and negative physical consequences, just to name a few.

Why not give your employees a reason to take a break?

The truth is most people need an excuse not to drink because of social and business pressure.

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Lean on Me

Uncategorized Jun 10, 2019

I was raised by a single mom. I am a headstrong Aries.

My most used quote might be, “Don’t tell me what to do!”

What I am trying to say here is that I am a strong, independent woman. I don’t need no help.

Except I do.

We all do.

What I am really trying to say is, it's hard to ask for help. We resist asking for help. We fear needing help is a sign of weakness. We think we should somehow be able to manage everything all on our own, even at the jeopardy of our physical and mental health.  

I just reached out for maybe the first time ever to a group of strangers online and asked for help. I was overwhelmed with positive response. This connection is life changing to me. I am not going to be afraid to ask for help again.

Helen Keller said it best, “Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much.”  

Think about it, people naturally want to help others. I naturally want to help. We just don’t know what people need, unless...

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Drinking Buddies

Uncategorized Jun 04, 2019

I wasn’t someone who had drinking buddies. I only had true blue friends that drank with me. My friend Bird was the person who took me in and loved me in my worst drunken stupors. She understood what it was like and we went out for more. Always more. Never enough wine to fill the hole. I felt free to get totally drunk with her.

Then I removed alcohol from my life and so did Bird.

My biggest party girl friend became my unofficial sponsor. The one who responded to my emergency texts from bar bathrooms, the one who would go out for dessert at 9 pm because I had to escape, the one who would listen to me whine and cry and complain day after day. The one who would meet me for a sunrise walk, my daughter’s volleyball game, a stupid movie that no one wanted to see but me. She helped me wash my windows and landscape my yard. Her husband called me HBomb. We call ourselves Bird and Bomb and although we have a few funny memories from our drinking days, we also had crippling...

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What Does Your Husband Think?

Uncategorized Jun 03, 2019

Ok, Readers. Here’s a big question that you want to know:  

What does my husband, Darin think about all this?

My response is that you have to ask him. He is not one to write a blog post, however. He doesn’t even have Facebook account.

God Bless Him!

I can tell you what I know. I did review the answers with him, in specific to answer your questions about this topic, so I could be sure I was sharing his truth. If I wasn’t me, I would be really curious too, so I think its a very good question.  

What was it like when for Darin when I was at my peak drinking?

The last few years of my drinking were rough. He did a lot of online research. He knew that I would have to come to my conclusion myself. As an “addict” (I hate that word, but you know what I mean), he felt there was little he could do but watch and wait and hope. The most important thing was to not let himself go down with me.

It was incredibly hard to watch someone he loved self...

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From Alcohol to Alignment All 7 days of the week

Uncategorized May 28, 2019

Memorial Day 2017:

It is the last day of my hometown pool party. I am so excited to be with my family, my best friends, and my mom all at the same time. This never happens, so I am thrilled. When my mom arrives I want to show her how fun it is at my friends’ pool house. I want her to be comfortable. I offer her a beer. I start drinking too. I am kinda nervous to have all my people in one place. The holiday Monday gives me an extra bonus day of drinking. How exciting! I start the day taking my anti anxiety pill, drinking, and eating very little. I end up with a quick buzz and passing out midday.  My kids are disappointed in me. My husband is beyond pissed off. My mom is worried and ready to drop me off at a rehab center. I sit in shame in the third row car seat for a 2 ½ hour drive home. My dog, my only ally,  is on my lap. We are stuffed in the way back of the car, which is loaded with my family that seems to hate me. As soon as I got home I get a glass of...

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Online Drinking Quizzes are BullShit

Uncategorized May 27, 2019

I always hated those online quizzes named “Are you Drinking too Much?”. Have you ever experienced a blackout? (Duh). Has your family suggested you get help? (Whatever). Do you drink more than once week? (Who doesn’t?)  Do you have more than 2 drinks in one sitting? (Are you serious right now?) Have you missed work due to your drinking? (I had the wine flu, but I am incredibly high functioning).

I saw another bloggers list of 8 signs your relationship with alcohol is more complicated than you think. I thought it was really good. I really related to the signs she mentioned.

I started thinking back to my own uneasiness about drinking. I thought it might be helpful to share some, not so obvious clues, that I was picking up on. These clues were subtle, but it became more obvious that alcohol was becoming more and more important to me.

If you are becoming mindful about your alcohol consumption here’s a few things you might consider as clues that your...

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Before and During

Uncategorized May 26, 2019

I have created some before and after pics from drinking to sober. Holy Cow its obvious how much better I look now. My bloat is gone. I think that is the most obvious difference. Good sleep and hydration do wonders to make your skin glow, your eyes sparkle, and your hair shine.

I usually post about how happy and beautiful it is to be sober. And it is. It is much much prettier and more beautiful to be sober. Me and my surroundings look better on our worst day sober than on our best day drinking.

I have energy and interest in maintaining my yard and my eyebrows. I am not wasting time drunk and hungover. I can paint my nails and my walls. I have money to invest in wrinkle cream and seasonal throw pillows. You get what I am saying.

So my after picture is the best picture of me. It is a picture of a woman crushing her goals. Training for a ½ marathon, running her own business, and nailing the parenting gig. I always brag about the ME in the after picture because I am proud. I...

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Holiday Weekend Sober

Uncategorized May 25, 2019

Memorial Day Weekend two years ago had me passed out at a party in the middle of the day, disappointing pretty much everyone I care about all at once.

Nice job Heather!

I embarrassed myself. I worried everyone I love. I will never know the damage this scene did to my kids and that will never not break my heart to think about for as long as I shall live.

But as soon as I came to and got home, I wanted more wine.

That was the final straw for my husband, I think. I think he gave up on me right then, and just saw that I had a major problem I wasn’t going to face and this was the rest of my life until I killed myself from it.

My mom witnessed it too and it was too much for her. She started calling around trying to find support for what the fuck we should do with me. My words, not hers.  She would never talk that way but she was scared shitless. She could not ignore that this was not me getting tipsy. This was me putting my life in danger. 

As a drinker, I felt a rush...

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