I celebrated 500 Days Sober with an all inclusive Hard Rock Riviera Maya Mexico Vacay for me and my family. I saved enough money from not drinking, that I could buy this vacation 2 ½ times. A sober vacation making memories is way better than endless bottles of wine making blackouts. But first let me share the history of vacations and drinking!
Costa Rica 2016
Spring Break 2016 I went with my family and my 2 childhood best friends and their families to an all inclusive resort in Costa Rica. It was a dream trip of a lifetime and we had a great time. But let me tell you about the drinking part of the vacation and my personal war within.
I was a little disappointed that I could not drink all the red wine I wanted, ALL THE TIME.
I thought that is what was meant by “all inclusive”.
Isn’t that the perk of all inclusive?
Doesn’t “all inclusive” = “all you can drink”?
I had to actually go up to a bar and order...
500 Days Sober!
It feels so amazing!
500 days ago it felt like I HAVE to be sober to save my life, this is so hard.
But today its transformed into, I GET to be sober every day, this is the single best thing that ever happened to me!
What a big, giant, beautiful gift the Universe has given me.
I am so grateful for the circumstances of my life to bring me this opportunity.
Its true that alcohol had one of her nasty claws in me and wine was taking me down. Alcohol was 99% to blame for my mental health issues, depression and anxiety. Alcohol put a wall between me and everyone I loved. For a hot minute (or a few years) I thought I loved alcohol more than anything. I put this love first. It wasn’t really love, but it was dependence.
Alcohol made me physically sick, and it messed with my mind. I couldn’t get rid of it despite the horrible consequences from taking it.
Anyone who has experienced a...
You’re sober but you still want to socialize and you aren’t sure how to handle it when someone offers you a drink. Its anxiety provoking to have to figure out how to turn down a drink.
That was a hard part about going out sober for me.
Worrying about other people’s reactions. I would turn down a drink and just hold my breath and wait for the responses, and wonder how I would handle them.
Here’s the thing, when you make a change it's uncomfortable for other people. Here's the other thing it's not your job to comfort them.
You just take care of you and they will figure it out.
After a few practice rounds its gets easier. Soon people stop asking. It's worthy to note someone’s reaction to you not drinking says a lot more about them than it does about you.
Nowadays, I still get invited to things. People still want to hang with me. It's just known that I don’t drink. I feel really proud of it, but I was shaky in the beginning when I was trying on a...
Alcohol took the nicest girl in the senior class and my heart is broken. Alcohol didn’t care how nice Becky was. Alcohol paid no attention to how fiercely she loved her daughters. Becky was facing unbearable grief, and alcohol used that against her. Becky was friendly, funny, and loyal, and alcohol took her down the darkest path and left her there.
I am a freshman in high school trying out for the Pom Dance team. I love to dance but I am terrified to try out. It is so much pressure and I don’t know if I am good enough. The are so many senior girls on the team and I am intimidated. I look up to them, but I am scared of them too. They don’t know me and they might be mean. I am insecure and I have to dance in front of them with my legs shaking. The only safe place to look is at this one senior girl that I am not scared of at all. I don’t have to be scared of her because she is nice. Her name is Becky. You know she is nice because you can just see it...
You want your workforce to optimize peak performance.
You want to hire candidates that are on top of their game.
You look for employees that bring energy, initiative and creative solutions to complex problems.
You want a physically and mentally healthy workforce.
You reward your employees by serving alcohol at happy hours, client dinners, and appreciation events. Alcohol negatively affects energy, creativity, and health = all the things you want for and from your employees.
I invite you to consider an alcohol free workplace challenge. The results have already been proven. Improved relationships, better health, increased confidence, better sleep, and increased mental energy.
You already know the effects from drinking alcohol are low level depression, poor sleep, mental hangover fog, and negative physical consequences, just to name a few.
Why not give your employees a reason to take a break?
The truth is most people need an excuse not to drink because of social and business pressure....
I was raised by a single mom. I am a headstrong Aries.
My most used quote might be, “Don’t tell me what to do!”
What I am trying to say here is that I am a strong, independent woman. I don’t need no help.
Except I do.
We all do.
What I am really trying to say is, it's hard to ask for help. We resist asking for help. We fear needing help is a sign of weakness. We think we should somehow be able to manage everything all on our own, even at the jeopardy of our physical and mental health.
I just reached out for maybe the first time ever to a group of strangers online and asked for help. I was overwhelmed with positive response. This connection is life changing to me. I am not going to be afraid to ask for help again.
Helen Keller said it best, “Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much.”
Think about it, people naturally want to help others. I naturally want to help. We just don’t know what people need, unless...
I wasn’t someone who had drinking buddies. I only had true blue friends that drank with me. My friend Bird was the person who took me in and loved me in my worst drunken stupors. She understood what it was like and we went out for more. Always more. Never enough wine to fill the hole. I felt free to get totally drunk with her.
Then I removed alcohol from my life and so did Bird.
My biggest party girl friend became my unofficial sponsor. The one who responded to my emergency texts from bar bathrooms, the one who would go out for dessert at 9 pm because I had to escape, the one who would listen to me whine and cry and complain day after day. The one who would meet me for a sunrise walk, my daughter’s volleyball game, a stupid movie that no one wanted to see but me. She helped me wash my windows and landscape my yard. Her husband called me HBomb. We call ourselves Bird and Bomb and although we have a few funny memories from our drinking days, we also had crippling...
Ok, Readers. Here’s a big question that you want to know:
What does my husband, Darin think about all this?
My response is that you have to ask him. He is not one to write a blog post, however. He doesn’t even have Facebook account.
God Bless Him!
I can tell you what I know. I did review the answers with him, in specific to answer your questions about this topic, so I could be sure I was sharing his truth. If I wasn’t me, I would be really curious too, so I think its a very good question.
What was it like when for Darin when I was at my peak drinking?
The last few years of my drinking were rough. He did a lot of online research. He knew that I would have to come to my conclusion myself. As an “addict” (I hate that word, but you know what I mean), he felt there was little he could do but watch and wait and hope. The most important thing was to not let himself go down with me.
It was incredibly hard to watch someone he loved self...
Memorial Day 2017:
It is the last day of my hometown pool party. I am so excited to be with my family, my best friends, and my mom all at the same time. This never happens, so I am thrilled. When my mom arrives I want to show her how fun it is at my friends’ pool house. I want her to be comfortable. I offer her a beer. I start drinking too. I am kinda nervous to have all my people in one place. The holiday Monday gives me an extra bonus day of drinking. How exciting! I start the day taking my anti anxiety pill, drinking, and eating very little. I end up with a quick buzz and passing out midday. My kids are disappointed in me. My husband is beyond pissed off. My mom is worried and ready to drop me off at a rehab center. I sit in shame in the third row car seat for a 2 ½ hour drive home. My dog, my only ally, is on my lap. We are stuffed in the way back of the car, which is loaded with my family that seems to hate me. As soon as I got home I get a glass of...
I always hated those online quizzes named “Are you Drinking too Much?”. Have you ever experienced a blackout? (Duh). Has your family suggested you get help? (Whatever). Do you drink more than once week? (Who doesn’t?) Do you have more than 2 drinks in one sitting? (Are you serious right now?) Have you missed work due to your drinking? (I had the wine flu, but I am incredibly high functioning).
I saw another bloggers list of 8 signs your relationship with alcohol is more complicated than you think. I thought it was really good. I really related to the signs she mentioned.
I started thinking back to my own uneasiness about drinking. I thought it might be helpful to share some, not so obvious clues, that I was picking up on. These clues were subtle, but it became more obvious that alcohol was becoming more and more important to me.
If you are becoming mindful about your alcohol consumption here’s a few things you might consider as clues that your...