Start Here. Take two easy steps forward.

Uncategorized Feb 04, 2019

Step 1- Be honest with yourself.

I know that wine/beer/vodka has become your Best Friend and Lover and you do NOT really want to quit. That’s ok. I’d like to offer you a high five.

Congratulations! You are here. Right here in the present moment. If you are anything like me, you are probably hungover AF and desperately grasping for something to help end this cycle. You may hate where you are and know that is it isn’t working for you, but unsure of the next step. And truthfully, you can’t really imagine a life sober so you might have to throw your arms in the air and accept the reality that you will be a drinker, likely an over drinker, for the rest of your life. That thought is so depressing on one hand, and on the other, its sort of a relief that in just a few hours after you can struggle through your day, that glass of wine will be there at the end to tell you everything is ok. That’s all you really want. The feeling that everything will be ok.

So this...

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Redemption Song - Day 1 versus Day 346

Uncategorized Jan 31, 2019

Reflections On 1 year Sober

Day 1: The alarm goes off and I am immediately guilty and full of shame for I don’t know what yet. I’d rather go back to sleep than find out.

My head is pounding.

My heart is beating outside of my chest.

I am pissed off.

I am in my clothes from last night.

I am in my bed alone.

I don’t know where everyone else is but my trusty dog is beside me.

Fuck I better get up.

I pull myself out of bed thinking about how many minutes until I can get back in.

If I can just get the kids to school, I will go back to bed. A little “me time”. I make my way to the bathroom and brush my teeth and I see myself in the mirror and I honestly don’t recognize myself.

When did I get so fat and old and ugly? My eyes are bloodshot and blurry. I can’t even focus because of the fog in my head. I think I am going to be sick. Mind over matter. “No no just move on. Everything is fine. Don’t let anyone know. Don’t let them see...

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New Year, Same You?

Uncategorized Dec 31, 2018

New Year/New You?

I am all about self help, reaching goals and self improvement. If you are like me, your email inbox is full of New Years messages that encourage New Year, New You! These messages might be winding you up to start Whole 30 and get that holiday weight gain in check. You probably have received gym discounts and coupons codes to make 2019 the year you get in shape. Join a yoga class! Start rock climbing! Sign up (again!) to run that marathon! Or maybe you watched Marie Kondo on Netflix and you are inspired to clean out and declutter your home. Maybe you, like me, love the idea of a new planner to fill out. Perfectly organizing your life. Maybe you sat down with your calendar and color coded it to perfection. Say goodbye to the 2018 Hot Mess Express and Hello to the new hopes and dreams of losing weight, gaining muscle, and never missing a beat at home or at work in the New Year! Ahh the New Year/New You goals are enticing, aren’t they?

If on Day 9 of Dry January...

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