I am not only recovering from my alcohol dependence, in getting sober, I have had to address other issues in my life. One issue is perfectionism.
I think having a goal of perfection in all areas of my life, contributed to my alcohol problem in many ways.
I was gladly categorized as the elite “I don’t know how she does it!” club.
My house was clean.
I was running races.
I had impressive sales jobs and a happy marriage.
I made healthy meals for my kids.
I would wake up after a night of drinking before everyone to clean the kitchen and serve breakfast.
This all led to the denial that alcohol was taking over me and becoming a bigger problem in my life.
If anyone dared to mention my concerning drinking behavior, I put up my defenses. I didn’t want to have a problem, so if I didn’t admit a problem, then there was no problem.
The problem was other people. Not me. I’m perfect. I...
On my first Forever Sober Saturday we went to a concert with friends. It was a bit of a mistake. I didn’t know I would suddenly be sober and we didn’t realize our friends actually bought tickets for us, when we half committed months ago. I was kinda pissed at my husband, because he paid for tickets and now we were obligated to go. I didn’t want to go. I probably did when we pencilled it in months ago, but now I had a preparty and a concert with a group of drinkers for my first Sober Saturday. I was scared. I was scared because at the time, being sober meant that I just read my book, washed my face and went to bed when it got dark out, like a pure little angel every night. That was the only way I knew how to be sober in the beginning (and for a long time after that too). Here is what I wrote in my journal at the time:
We didn’t realize someone actually bought us tickets to this live music event and preparty for tomorrow. We decide to go. I am...
I am trying to do a thing and it terrifies me.
Today, I am hosting my first webinar. And its LIVE.
And my sister in law has a serious doctor appointment today and so I am picking up her kids from daycare. They are 2 and 5 years old.
The 2 year old makes my dog very nervous.
So I will have 2 little ones and a nervous dog in the house for my first LIVE webinar.
Plus two teenage daughters, who are typically pretty helpful, but its the end of the summer and it might kinda depend on the day.
My husband is traveling for work.
The timing of all this is such, that everyone will be hungry while I try to host these webinars.
When I went to test all the technology today, none of it was working.
Actually, it all disappeared completely.
So on the day of my first webinar, I had NO webinar and none of the registrant links worked.
I am so beyond grateful that people are showing up for this and then I just thanked them with a sketchy link that...
Riviera Maya Mexico, 2019
We booked an all inclusive vacation at the Hard Rock Hotel. For the first time ever I am excited about sober vacation and not nervous at all. I can’t wait to experience everything sober. I am a little curious if I will feel like I am missing out, especially at such a Rockstar Hotel, or if vacation is different than real life and I might want to drink, because...vacay?
We land and I get a virgin pina colada at the airport. It is the best dessert drink I have ever tasted. Frozen, creamy, fresh and so darn good. I have never enjoyed a drink so much. The way the freeze melts in the heat and how I slurp the freshest juice ever tasted is pure joy.
We get to our hotel and we are served non alcoholic pina coladas and strawberry daiquiris while we check in. I say yes to everything offered. We arrive in time for me to check out the adult only side of the resort where the yoga temple and spa are located. I participate in an oceanside...
I celebrated 500 Days Sober with an all inclusive Hard Rock Riviera Maya Mexico Vacay for me and my family. I saved enough money from not drinking, that I could buy this vacation 2 ½ times. A sober vacation making memories is way better than endless bottles of wine making blackouts. But first let me share the history of vacations and drinking!
Costa Rica 2016
Spring Break 2016 I went with my family and my 2 childhood best friends and their families to an all inclusive resort in Costa Rica. It was a dream trip of a lifetime and we had a great time. But let me tell you about the drinking part of the vacation and my personal war within.
I was a little disappointed that I could not drink all the red wine I wanted, ALL THE TIME.
I thought that is what was meant by “all inclusive”.
Isn’t that the perk of all inclusive?
Doesn’t “all inclusive” = “all you can drink”?
I had to actually go up to a bar and order...
500 Days Sober!
It feels so amazing!
500 days ago it felt like I HAVE to be sober to save my life, this is so hard.
But today its transformed into, I GET to be sober every day, this is the single best thing that ever happened to me!
What a big, giant, beautiful gift the Universe has given me.
I am so grateful for the circumstances of my life to bring me this opportunity.
Its true that alcohol had one of her nasty claws in me and wine was taking me down. Alcohol was 99% to blame for my mental health issues, depression and anxiety. Alcohol put a wall between me and everyone I loved. For a hot minute (or a few years) I thought I loved alcohol more than anything. I put this love first. It wasn’t really love, but it was dependence.
Alcohol made me physically sick, and it messed with my mind. I couldn’t get rid of it despite the horrible consequences from taking it.
Anyone who has experienced a...
You’re sober but you still want to socialize and you aren’t sure how to handle it when someone offers you a drink. Its anxiety provoking to have to figure out how to turn down a drink.
That was a hard part about going out sober for me.
Worrying about other people’s reactions. I would turn down a drink and just hold my breath and wait for the responses, and wonder how I would handle them.
Here’s the thing, when you make a change it's uncomfortable for other people. Here's the other thing it's not your job to comfort them.
You just take care of you and they will figure it out.
After a few practice rounds its gets easier. Soon people stop asking. It's worthy to note someone’s reaction to you not drinking says a lot more about them than it does about you.
Nowadays, I still get invited to things. People still want to hang with me. It's just known that I don’t drink. I feel really proud of it, but I was shaky in the beginning when I was trying on a...
Alcohol took the nicest girl in the senior class and my heart is broken. Alcohol didn’t care how nice Becky was. Alcohol paid no attention to how fiercely she loved her daughters. Becky was facing unbearable grief, and alcohol used that against her. Becky was friendly, funny, and loyal, and alcohol took her down the darkest path and left her there.
I am a freshman in high school trying out for the Pom Dance team. I love to dance but I am terrified to try out. It is so much pressure and I don’t know if I am good enough. The are so many senior girls on the team and I am intimidated. I look up to them, but I am scared of them too. They don’t know me and they might be mean. I am insecure and I have to dance in front of them with my legs shaking. The only safe place to look is at this one senior girl that I am not scared of at all. I don’t have to be scared of her because she is nice. Her name is Becky. You know she is nice because you can just see it...
You want your workforce to optimize peak performance.
You want to hire candidates that are on top of their game.
You look for employees that bring energy, initiative and creative solutions to complex problems.
You want a physically and mentally healthy workforce.
You reward your employees by serving alcohol at happy hours, client dinners, and appreciation events. Alcohol negatively affects energy, creativity, and health = all the things you want for and from your employees.
I invite you to consider an alcohol free workplace challenge. The results have already been proven. Improved relationships, better health, increased confidence, better sleep, and increased mental energy.
You already know the effects from drinking alcohol are low level depression, poor sleep, mental hangover fog, and negative physical consequences, just to name a few.
Why not give your employees a reason to take a break?
The truth is most people need an excuse not to drink because of social and business pressure....
I was raised by a single mom. I am a headstrong Aries.
My most used quote might be, “Don’t tell me what to do!”
What I am trying to say here is that I am a strong, independent woman. I don’t need no help.
Except I do.
We all do.
What I am really trying to say is, it's hard to ask for help. We resist asking for help. We fear needing help is a sign of weakness. We think we should somehow be able to manage everything all on our own, even at the jeopardy of our physical and mental health.
I just reached out for maybe the first time ever to a group of strangers online and asked for help. I was overwhelmed with positive response. This connection is life changing to me. I am not going to be afraid to ask for help again.
Helen Keller said it best, “Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much.”
Think about it, people naturally want to help others. I naturally want to help. We just don’t know what people need, unless...
Drinking got you thinking? Evaluate your relationship with alcohol with my free download, 12 Sober Secrets and bonus Get Free, Stay Free mantra.