What is the cost of drinking?

We all have a money story.

Mine is that I was a middle class girl raised by a single Mom.

This makes for a “I grew up poor” mentality sometimes.

I also think I am a Princess and my inheritance will surprise me someday.

Until then...

I deserve this...

...and I also deserve that. 

I can have whatever I want, because I am a spoiled brat.

Whether or not I can afford it...

...it should be mine because I said so.

 

But also, I am not worthy of any of it. 

I should have nothing.

I should give it all away.

I should desire nothing. 

Poor is good. 

Help the poor.

Be poor.

Don’t make money. 

Wanting money is bad.

Having money is worse.

 

So it’s all very complicated for me, and likely for you too.

This comes into play when we look at quitting drinking.

I hear from people all the time that want to quit drinking, they want to invest in themselves, but they just can’t do it. 

There is another thing that takes priority...

...and...

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1000 Days Free From Alcohol

1000 Days Free from Alcohol.

Wow!

I am super proud of me.

I can’t believe I used to start everyday on the wrong side of the bed:

hungover, full of guilt/shame/fear, physically ill and in a bad mood.

How did I do this for years and then hate myself when I wasn’t happy with my life?

If I could look back on myself, on Day 1…

this is what I would tell her.

Listen Honey,

Start by tuning in, instead of tuning out.

You don’t need to seek outside yourself for love, acceptance, and peace of mind.

Pursuing meaning and purpose will prove so much more valuable than the pursuit of pleasure.

Those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter.

You are worthy, you are enough, and there is nothing wrong with you.

You’ve done a great job dealing with some heavy shit, give yourself credit.

Not everyone is going to understand or like you and that’s ok.

You don’t have to be perfect, you get to be whole.

Discomfort and pain are part of life,...

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Want More Me Time? Get Rid of Alcohol

It is Saturday morning. 

I don’t have to get up.

It is 6:30 and still dark out.

I roll around in bed.

Pet the dog.

Lay and enjoy the slowness of the morning without the rush to get up.

My eyes are wide awake.

My body feels mostly good.

Maybe slightly puffy from the sushi last night, but my head is clear. 

I awake with energy and joy.

I decide to get up out of bed and make myself my first cup of coffee.

I am excited for this early morning alone time, because I am at the end of a great book.

I turn on the lamp, grab my blanket, and settle in on the couch.

I finish this 5 star read, as the sun rises. 

I treat myself to a Starbucks run for my next cup of coffee.

Today is Halloween.

I have a fun day of holiday baking, crafts, and movies planned with my teenage daughters.

Because of the COVID pandemic, we are not attending our usual costume parties, treat or treating, and other neighborhood activities.  

We planned our own Halloween agenda weeks ago. 

I...

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Getting Sober is Spooky, Staying Sober is Magic

Living alcohol free is absolutely magical, but it doesn’t feel that way at first.

When I first quit drinking, I had a lot of fears.

MostlyI feared that life after booze would be boring.

I was terrified that I would lose friends. 

The truth is, my early sobriety was pretty boring.

I tucked in bed early on most days.

I avoided many social gatherings.

I immersed myself in books, podcasts, blogs, and education on alcohol. 

I didn’t know how to have fun without alcohol.

I only knew how to be a party girl, with a permanent drink in my hand. 

I had a big fear of missing out on fun.

My friendships changed too.

Everyone, including my closest friends, were unsure how to support me. 

We always drank together.

What now?

I was itchy in my new alcohol free costume.

I was becoming a new person.

I was taking off the mask of alcohol in my 40’s.

I had worn this cover up since my teen years.

I didn’t know the alcohol...

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Is Quitting Drinking Hard?

Is quitting drinking hard?

Yes it is. 

It’s excruciating at times. 

But you know what else is hard?  

Running a marathon.

Having a baby.

Completing a big project at home or at work.

And you know what else? 

They are all absolutely worth it. 

Anything worth anything is going to require effort and getting sober is no different.

It’s a huge accomplishment that doesn’t come easy. 

There’s a risk too.

What if your relationship to your partner changes?

What if you lose friends?

What if people find out?

What if some of your loved ones don’t understand?

What if you don’t want to do the things you are used to doing?

What if you change jobs?

What if you don’t fit in anymore?

 

All of these things happened to me.

Every single one. 

 

Endings are hard.

Really hard.

Heartbreaking.

 

You know what else happened?

I learned to choose myself.

 

I learned my spouse loved me enough he was willing to...

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Sober October Tricks and Treats

Sober October is the second most popular alcohol free month of the year, followed by Dry January. As the weather gets cooler it's a perfect time to hunker down, and hit the reset button on your drinking before the holiday season picks up. 

If you are like me, many sober experiments start with motivation and excitement. This can dwindle quickly when you are faced with your first cravings. 

Here’s a few common tricks to avoid and treats to implement for a successful Sober October. 

Tricks

Tough emotions

If you’re a regular drinker it will take some time for your mind, body, and spirit to reset. It is common to wake up and immediately wonder who many drinks you’ve had the night before. Dreaming about drinking is also very common. Without alcohol to numb your emotions you may experience intense emotions. This will be uncomfortable but you can allow yourself to move through it. Feelings are only temporary. With two full moons this month, your emotions...

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How to Drink Less Alcohol, Maybe None At All

When asked what I do, I tell people I help others take a break from alcohol.

Then I launch into a definition of gray area drinking, coaching, and ending the stigma.

People usually respond with, yeah you don’t have to quit forever though, right?

You don’t work with like really bad alcoholics?

There’s a difference between someone who can never drink again and someone that does Dry January.

Then I rant about alcohol being toxic substance that creates dependency.

I talk about it being progressive, and blah, blah, blah.

But here’s the thing:

What if alcohol was poisonous for everyone and not just some of us?

What if anyone had the potential to become an ALCOHOLIC, because of alcohol?

What if anyone, whether ALCOHOLIC or not just decided to stop putting poison in their body?

What if anyone, no matter how much alcohol they consumed, just decided to start looking internally instead of externally for their own peace and happiness?

What if not drinking ever again led...

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JOMO - The Difference Between Short Term Pleasure and Long Term Happiness

I have had nothing but JOMO this Labor Day.

The Joy Of Missing Out. 

JOMO is new to me and I am still a bit shocked at just how much JOMO I have. 

This makes me question my past decisions, but anyway...I am here now. 

Please do not confuse me with being a bore, or a prude, or a homebody.

Actually, I am those things too, but still...

I am an extrovert. 

A party girl. 

I am someone up for adventure. 

Most of the time, I still party sober. 

I go to lakes, pools, boats, and bbq’s on summer holiday weekends. 

However, I did none of that this Labor Day weekend and I absolutely loved it. 

When I was in my first few weeks, (and even months) sober I tucked in early and a lot.

Staying sober was my priority so I avoided anything that triggered me. 

This was nearly everything. 

I was also boring myself to death. 

As a girl with an edge, I wondered how I was ever going to keep up this Puritan-type lifestyle. 

I like to...

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Dear Big Alcohol, Shame on You, Little Eyes are Watching Me

Shame on you Big Alcohol.

How dare you market your poison to Mothers.

You are selling us a carefree afternoon with a crisp chardonnay in the sun.

You are selling us a sip to take the edge off a long day.

You are selling us relief from the high stress of parenting.

You are selling us deeper connections with our spouses.

You are selling us empowerment with each other. 

You are selling us glamour, luxury, and a vacation from the daily grind.

These are all the things we desire and none of it comes from alcohol.

You know that.

You know that you are selling lies.

Your lies take away our power and hurt our future generations.

It’s the worst thing you can do.

I don’t know how you sleep at night.

You suggest we need wine to help us parent.

You tell our kids we are drinking because of them.

I was sold, hook, line and sinker on your promises that never delivered. 

I was duped.

I drank your wine.

I sucked down that elixir and waited for the magic to happen.

I...

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5 Reasons Why September is the Best Time to Take a Break from Booze

Change of Season

The cooler weather and shorter days are calling to wrap yourself in cozy solitude. This sweater weather reminds us to tuck in early, be introspective, and self soothe with quiet comforts. One main concern for people taking a break from alcohol is their social life. As the buzz of a social summer winds down, September is the perfect time to ditch the drink. The hygge lifestyle of fall encompasses a feeling of wellness and contentment. Being alcohol free aligns with wellbeing. As the weather changes, so can we. We look to nature to guide us. It’s a season of letting go. Like the leaves of a tree, we can release the things, like alcohol, that no longer serve us. We see the beauty in transformation of trees and serves as a reminder to us. Transformation is welcome. It’s ok to try something new. Let nature be your guide and try a break from booze.  

The Real New Year

The start of a school year is an invitation to get organized, start...

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