What Makes a Good Life?

Happy National Sober Day. My friend Courtney founded this day in 2019, around the same time I opened the doors to Ditched the Drink. I used to be all about drinking, but in true form of being 100% or nothing at all, I am now all about sobriety. 

Yesterday was so ON BRAND for sobriety that I can't even believe it. I was always extremely curious about what sober people did for fun or how they spent their time and lived their lives. This should have been a clue for me way back when, but I wasn't in the business of paying attention to my intuition; I was pouring alcohol on it and ignoring myself most of the time.

Now I can answer that question for myself. Trust me, I would never sustain sobriety if I were only bored, deprived, and serious. Sobriety is that way sometimes, but there is so much more. If you're in the thick of early sobriety, stay, stay, stay. 

Yesterday is a good example of being on brand for me. The day started with a roaring thunderstorm and me wearing my Chicago AF "Normalize Sobriety" sweatshirt. I pulled myself out of the comfort of my couch and away from my cozy companion, a freshly groomed Rocky, to zip downtown in my cool car for the AF book club that started at 9 am. 

A morning book club (can you imagine?) in the hippest coffee shop, in one of the greatest cities, connecting with the coolest people (some who are coming to my 🔗 Fall Into You Retreat!), and sipping the strongest coffee, which all left me with a glorious buzz. I was euphoric all the way home, as the clouds parted and the sun came out. I was singing in my car and feeling absolute bliss, smiling all the way.

Gone are the days of anxiety attacks when driving alone, feeling suffocated with my own panicky thoughts and feelings of shame. A lot of my clients drank to change their mood. They drank to chase a feeling of happiness. If only alcohol worked in the long haul for this, right? It doesn't. I have felt higher highs being sober than I ever did drinking. I know this is hard to believe, and it doesn't happen immediately. Keep going. 

Life is so different now. Not only with my big, splashy, sober retreat adventures (more coming up), career highs (more coming up), and alcohol-free vacations (more coming up), but also, maybe even more importantly, in regular, everyday, ordinary moments like this.

Like waking up, driving a car alone, enjoying a thunderstorm, drinking coffee, and coming home. It's all better sober. Wildly different. Immensely improved. The life I never wanted to change, except for my alcohol intake when I was drinking, has all changed dramatically. I am so grateful. I didn't know what I didn't know when I was living under a cloud of unprocessed grief, crippling people-pleasing, and alcohol use.

Yesterday, I had a grand welcome home with a massive delivery of 🔗 Gruvi alcohol-free beer and wine that showed up on my front porch in preparation for a happy hour that I am hosting at 🔗 The Survive and Thrive Mental Health and Recovery Conference in Madison, WI next month (click the link to join me!). The boxes were so big and filled my entire porch. It made me laugh out loud to see it. There might as well have been graffiti on my front door saying, "Santa was here!"

After getting all the Gruvi goods in the fridge, I went to brunch with my youngest daughter. We reminisced about my drinking days and what it was like for her. We could do this with love, compassion, and perspective. We laughed about the old days. It was lighthearted. Pain and shame were excused from the table a long time ago. Side note: there is no hangover needed for a delicious and local greasy spoon.

Next came time to get ready. Giving yourself enough time to get ready and enough time to get somewhere is a form of self-care. From an everything shower to a full blow-dry, I was not rushing the getting-ready process but instead enjoying it before putting on my fancy red heels and heading to GoBrew, an alcohol-free brewery. I met a friend and listened to a string band while tasting pumpkin NA beer in the middle of the afternoon. Day drinking—how cool!? A hungover me would have just been getting out of bed angry while trying to stomach my first cup of coffee in the early afternoon. I would have called that self-care when it was really detox, withdrawal, and survival.

From the brewery we met more friends (and another rad woman attending my 🔗 Fall Into You Retreat) at Elizabeth Gilbert's author event, where we heard her share her experience writing about addiction and recovery from alcohol, drugs, love, and sex. We received signed copies of her new book, "All the Way to the River." 

I won't bore you with the play-by-play of the rest of the weekend, but you get the idea. I will be diving into my new signed book at the pool today when I complete writing this newsletter.

Speaking of favorite authors, 🔗 Christie Tate, a Peripeteia Podcast guest, was at the author event too. I am surrounded by people who reflect who I want to be, how I want to feel, and what I want to accomplish. The energy is contagious. This is my plug for the 🔗 INSIDER membership.

I say this every week, but if you haven't tried the Insider, you're missing out. We had an author conversation with Jessica Guerrieri, author of "Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea," last week that was so vulnerable. You would never get the insight she shared from a public forum like social media (btw, the replay is still available). Limiting social media is another form of self-care, and our Scroll Less September Challenge is this month. 

Last week we discussed "What Makes a Good Life?" This week we are exploring love languages. There's an option for a three-session coaching package that is only available to Inside members if you need a boost but can't commit to the 🔗 12-week Becoming Package.

Don't stay if it's not for you, but if it is, it's a small investment of $34 a month for huge value: twice-a-week live calls, a library of resources, an app, and a forum to connect. You can 🔗 try 7 days free and cancel anytime.

Another perk on the INSIDE is my promise for the lowest rates and first availability for upcoming programs. Tomorrow, I am dropping a new program with a partner who you probably know and love in my 🔗 Insider Community. It will open to newsletter subscribers and the general public in the following weeks at the standard rate. I am really excited about this offer because I am partnering with someone I love, and we've been working hard on creating something really meaningful for you. Limited spots available. Stay tuned for more. 

This week, I've got a new podcast drop for you! Terrika Knox, founder of 🔗 Herb and Orchid, a lux alcohol-free wine, is the latest Peripeteia Podcast guest. Spoiler alert: she's coming to our fall retreat!

If you don't already know her, I am thrilled to introduce her fab energy, great style, and infectious charm in our 🔗 podcast conversation where we discuss her being an Army vet, losing our dads, alcohol, and menopause. It's her first-ever podcast, but it won't be her last! 

🔗 Fall Into You Retreat was sold out before we announced it on social media, but due to interest, we opened more spots that are also filling quickly. There are only 2 spots available, and doors will be closing, so save your seat if you want to join us. I am really touched by the amazing women that have decided to set aside a day for themselves to reset and renew before the holidays. The magic isn't in me or the hosts but the collective wisdom of the group. We will simply be the guides to nourish you, support you, and set the stage for connection, co-regulating, and healing.

A huge part of my journey was sharing it. What started as a cryptic mirror selfie with a Pellegrino in hand during a 2016 sober experiment in Vegas turned into 2,763 days for me and going on every stage, podcast, and social media forum with my news. I had to tell one person first. Then another. I grew my sober community from Instagram, but we started taking our conversations offline and into real life. I have made this easy and created this for you in the Insider. A group of women like you are waiting to meet you, and direct messaging is available. A forum that is not for everyone but professional women only. Can I take credit for curating the best group of people? OMG. 

I love you!

-Heather

p.s. For everyone who has reached out and is interested in learning more about coach training and certification, I invite you to set up an informational call with me 🔗 here.