The only app I’ve needed this week

This week, I took a break from social media.

Not in a dramatic way.
Not a declaration.
Just… a quiet step back.

And something surprised me.

The Insider app became the only connection I needed.

I checked in.
I read your reflections.
I witnessed collective wins...big ones, quiet ones, the kind that don’t always get applause.

And even while on vacation, when routines shift, sleep changes, meals look different, and days blur together, I noticed something important:

I’m learning more about myself because I’m in this challenge.

I’m seeing patterns sooner.
Pausing faster.
Choosing differently, not perfectly, but consciously.

I know in my bones I’m doing better than I would be if I weren’t in this space.

That’s the power of staying connected while living your real life.

I also shared a new blog this week about Dry January—and how some of the messaging around it can actually make things harder.

The pressure.
The all-or-nothing tone.
The idea that sobriety is an inconvenience.

If you’ve ever felt more anxious, more isolated, or more behind while trying to drink less—it’s not because you’re doing it wrong.

It’s because so much of the conversation ignores how humans actually change.

Awareness works better than willpower.
Compassion works better than shame.
And community works better than white-knuckling.

That’s exactly what I’m seeing inside our shared space right now.

Vacation life lately has looked beautifully analog:

• Reading with sand on the pages (3 books, 2 for my sober book clubs Insider (Uncorked) and Chicago AF (The Alice Network))
• Painting without needing it to be “good” (All tropical scenes! My creative anchor in our First 90 Day Challenge is strong rn; join us HERE.)
• Puzzling at the table (the kids got me a round charcuterie board puzzle, which is so fun and ON BRAND!)
• Football on the beach (we even got unknown middle school boys to join us and trash-talked the Chicago Bears; by the end they decided to root for them/us. Lol).
• Long beach walks (so many starfish!)
• Weightlifting, it turns out, is also a lot of looking in the mirror. This is new to me. I'll report back when I have more experience.
• Playlists on repeat (lots of Old Dominion and Zach Bryan's new album obvi)
• Fishing lines in the water (we caught our own dinner, and a restaurant prepared it for us! This was peak day; our phones were nowhere in sight, but dolphins and sparkling sun on the water was everywhere, just like a 90's Lisa Frank notebook.)

Simple. Embodied. Present.

Another thing happened: with the trend of thinking back to 2016, I found a picture of my nightstand this time 8 years ago when I didn't know it yet, but I was just a few weeks away from my last drink. I was trying so hard to romanticize sobriety. There in my picture is:

My cup of tea.
My candle.
My lotion.

I remember the feeling. Being so proud of myself for going to bed one night without wine and having tea instead. Very Pinterest. Very earnest. Very “if I make this cozy enough, maybe I won’t miss wine.” That was me trying. I am proud of her. She was starting on something that was about to come to fruition. 

And while those things mattered then…
What I really needed, and didn’t yet know, was people.

Connection.
Conversation.
Witnesses.

Which brings me to now.

✨ Last chance to join us for the Winter Wellness Sauna + Cold Plunge this Thursday
Come meet my friends and other sober babes—warmth, cold, mocktails, laughter, and real conversation. This one is about being together in our bodies, not our heads. Tickets HERE. (a great value; we got a sponsor to cover most if it)

💌 Galentine’s Day is forming
Tickets are open, and there are only 16 spots. Reserve yours HERE.

Use code: DTD10 for $10 off.

Join us for an intimate, Valentine’s-inspired afternoon featuring a curated alcohol-free wine flight and a guided “Love Letter to Your Future Self” writing experience, sealed with a wax seal from the World's First Greeting Card Bar. Sip premium zero-proof wines. Enjoy meaningful connection, and take a pause from the noise to reflect, dream, and celebrate yourself—without alcohol, pressure, or expectation.

You’ll leave feeling inspired, grounded, and deeply celebrated… with a sealed letter that will arrive back in your mailbox six months from now as a beautiful reminder of your growth.

And if you’re reading this wondering whether the Insider community is for you, let me say this clearly:

You belong here if you’re
– sober curious
– trying to get there
– taking a break
– sober for years but feeling lonely
– craving deeper connection
– tired of doing personal growth alone

This isn’t about how long you’ve been sober.

It’s about whether you want to walk with others instead of by yourself.

I’m so grateful you’re here—whether quietly reading or actively sharing.

We’re building something real.

XO!
Heather 🤍