Why People Feel Threatened by Dry January (and Why That Pressure Is Harmful)

And everywhere I look, restaurants, bars, menus, social media, conversations,  I keep seeing the same message:

“It’s exhausting to pick up the slack for people doing Dry January.”

That servers are tired.
That bartenders are annoyed.
That sober people are making things harder.

And honestly?

That narrative is far more exhausting than Dry January itself.

Stop Making It Harder for People Who Want to Quit

Let’s say this clearly:

If alcohol isn’t a problem for you—great.
Truly.

No one is asking you to stop drinking.

But why does it bother you so much when someone else chooses less… or none?

Why the eye rolls?
Why the jokes?
Why the constant messaging that people taking a break are somehow inconvenient?

People drinking less hurts no one.

But pushing someone to drink—or shaming them for not drinking—hurts everyone.

It hurts the person experimenting with change.
It hurts the woman quietly questioning her relationship with alcohol.
It hurts the nervous system trying to feel safe for the first time in years.

That’s not “picking up slack.”

That’s someone choosing their health.

Let’s Talk About the Hospitality Narrative

I want to be very honest here—especially as someone who deeply supports and collaborates with the hospitality industry.

The idea that Dry January creates hardship because people aren’t drinking alcohol is outdated.

Because here’s the truth I’m seeing everywhere I go on this trip:

There are alcohol-free drinks on almost every menu.

Mocktails.
Zero-proof spirits.
NA beer.
Creative, beautiful beverages that cost just as much—and sometimes more—than cocktails.

This isn’t 2010 anymore.

People not drinking doesn’t mean people aren’t ordering.

It means the industry is evolving.

And evolution is not something to resent—it’s something to adapt to.

“Just One” Is Still Doing Damage

When the messaging becomes:

“Come on, just drink—you’re making this harder for us.”

That’s not humor.

That’s pressure.

And “just one” is rarely about the drink itself.

It’s about relieving discomfort.

Discomfort with change.
Discomfort with reflection.
Discomfort with the possibility that alcohol isn’t necessary for connection, relaxation, or celebration.

So instead of sitting with that discomfort, we redirect it.

We make the sober person the problem.

Compassion Isn’t Inconvenience

Compassion doesn’t mean you have to stop drinking.

It means you stop making other people’s healing harder.

It means understanding that someone choosing not to drink might be doing the hardest thing they’ve done in years.

People drinking less harms no one.

People being pushed to drink when they’re trying not to harms families, bodies, mental health, and futures.

That’s the difference.

If You’re the One Feeling This Pressure

If you’re on vacation too—or at dinners, happy hours, weddings, or work trips—and feeling this messaging seep in, please hear me:

You are not difficult.
You are not high-maintenance.
You are not ruining anyone’s fun.

You are listening to yourself.

And that’s something many women were never taught to do.

If a part of you is whispering, “I don’t want to go back yet,” that voice deserves care — not criticism.

You don’t owe anyone a drink.
You don’t owe anyone comfort at the expense of your own.

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

If you’re craving a place where choosing less—or none—is normal, supported, and celebrated, that’s exactly why I created Insider Community.

It’s a space for professional women who are curious about sobriety, rethinking alcohol, or ready to build a life that doesn’t revolve around drinking.

No pressure.
No labels.
No explaining yourself.

Just support, coaching, community, and conversations that actually tell the truth.

Because willpower isn’t the problem.

Isolation is.

And healing doesn’t need to be this hard.