Drinking Yourself Into a Happier State of Being

Hi!

First of all, the link I sent for the Spoil Yourself Sober Masterclass last week didn't work, and I am so sorry. I am working on it and will send a separate email with access to it tomorrow. 

This week my focus is joy! Maybe it's from the Cultivating Joy workshop I hosted with guest speaker Deb Masner from The Alcohol Tipping Point last week.

I gave a homework assignment to do a joy hunt and make a list. So far, I am the only one who has completed my own assignment.

(Don't worry, nobody's in trouble. Homework is optional, and there is no deadline). LOL. Please respond with your list. I'd love to see more!

Here is my list straight from the Notes app on my phone. 

Today's Joy List, March 7th 2025, 3:10 pm:

☕️- extra cup of coffee

🤬-swearing when it's unexpected and makes my clients' laugh

🫧 -expensive dish soap

💅🏼 -fresh manicure (the nail journey, you guys!)

🪟 -first of the season things like first fire in the fireplace each fall and first spring day with windows open

💬 -family group chat on a roll (my kids are so funny)

🎸-Poison cover band on a Friday night 

Now I have even more, like making my bed tight and perfect like a hotel each morning. It's bringing me joy every time I walk by. The key for me has been taking all the pillows off to start, but you probably already knew that.

My morning ruck walks make me feel so powerful and strong in my ever-changing middle-aged body!

I binge-watched a Netflix show (Running Point, loved it). I rarely watch TV, so this was a treat to let myself sit most of the day after a terrible night of sleep that included a 3 am fire alarm and Rocky throwing up in that perfectly made home/hotel bed. Ewww. 

A snack tray prepared all for myself with potato chips (the good ones from Trader Joe's) dips, olives, cheese, and fruit with a glass of NA champagne for lunch in the middle of the afternoon.

My thrift shop finds and all my subtle ways of living more intentionally that include less Instagram, less Amazon, more Etsy, and more engagement in my own life. 

A new writing course on Insight Timer, writing by hand first thing in the morning in a fresh blank notebook! My writers mix playlists are such a vibe. 

Using a high school friend's belated mother's old-fashioned meatloaf recipe that she had engraved on a cutting board in her mom's handwriting. She posted a picture on Facebook, and I responded that I would make it. It's in the oven now as I publish this! 

Cleaning out a drawer to find a receipt after ordering the first ever mocktail from my friend Tracy's restaurant (IYKYK). If you want to know, here's a link to the best 🔗 blog about her. I love remembering her.

I could go on and on, but when I was drinking, I wondered why I was so miserable in my otherwise perfect life, and now it seems almost everything brings me joy. Of course, I go through funks and slumps (and I always share that with transparency too), but my happiness level overall has soared. I have sobriety to thank for it. I am paying attention now more than ever before. I am connected to my source that was previously clouded with Apothic Red, Kim Crawford White, and the fog of hangovers. 

To quote myself (who does this?) in that blog about Tracy, 

"We say alcohol is fun, but I’ve never seen anyone drink themselves into a sustained, happier state of being. We can't be happy for long when we are regularly downing a depressant."

If you are still in the wobbly middle, working on drinking less but not giving it up completely. I feel you because I was there for years. Decades honestly. It was purgatory. Not that bad but not that good. 

The hard part about this process is that you don't feel joy immediately. You just feel like you are missing your pacifier. Your one surefire way to soothe yourself from any ailment or any random Tuesday. Your best friend. Your loyal companion. Your protector. Your drink.

You can give it up for a bit, but when you do, you feel antsy, itchy, bored, and annoyed. So why sustain this? You think I tried it; it sucks. I might as well go back to drinking.

If you've made any kind of real progress by stringing together some days or weeks alcohol-free, you feel tired. Exhausted. This is not the sobriety joy all those Instagram coaches (including me) are jumping and twirling about.

It's like the sobriety Evangalists are liars. I hear you. I know. You have to go longer, but it's so harrrddddd. You have to "trust the process" (I probably got this phrase from The Bachelor because that is the one show I am dedicated to). 

Go longer and get support. That is how every person I have seen succeed has done it. There is a lot of trust to put in what you don't know to be true for you yet, but you just have to believe will come for you too on the other side. The proof is absolutely in my Insider membership, and you get free access to it with any of my programs.

If you see the people ahead of you on the path succeeding, it starts to give you more faith. And not only from me, the coach, who is in the business of marketing alcohol-free living. Hear it from the small group of professional women in every stage of their alcohol-free discovery. We want you to join us. We are all waiting for you.  

Not sure what program is right for you? Schedule a 🔗 complimentary call, and together we can figure out the right support to fit your goals, schedule, and budget. 

Free offerings this week:

This week's Peripeteia podcast is Tricia Lewis, former host of the Recovery Happy Hour. Imagine me interviewing my favorite podcaster. Her podcast was my first ever podcast when I was one year alcohol-free. Her podcast was my absolute favorite in early sobriety. It still is, and I highly recommend it even though she is no longer recording new episodes.

I was so nervous/excited then. I was only excited now. I would have been nervous, but she's become a friend, and she puts me at ease. She is honestly someone who really wows me by being one of the best people on the planet. Never showy about it, just always doing the most generous thing and not blasting it around, like many of us (me) do. How does she do that? 

Listen here: 🔗 Self Centered Drinking to Expansive Recovery

I am happy to report I have secured a new podcast producer. Yay. I am looking forward to closing out Season 2 and then starting Season 3. More to come on this. 

I was featured in Canvas Rebel Magazine, a publication for entrepreneurs, artists, and creatives. Read it here! 🔗

Speaking of, I've had a big uptick in people interested in becoming a coach and/or launching or improving their alcohol-free business, and because I know energy is collective, I am going to leave a link if you want to explore this further with me. If you've been wondering about it, don't delay learning a little more by setting up a call with me here 🔗.

I am hosting a Find Your Unicorn Space workshop at the end of the week for another group and will share the recording as a bonus on the INSIDER app. I've already done the workshop for INSIDERS but new members who missed it can now get another chance.

Anyone who becomes an INSIDER will also have access. Remember, there's a free trial and tons of value. The whole community just got a major upgrade, which includes smoother onboarding, cleaner design to navigate more easily, and more features for engagement, including gamification.  Check it out 🔗

St. Paddy's Day doesn't have to be about alcohol. Here's a list of blogs 🔗 to support you, including delicious things to drink that are not green beer. 

Tomorrow's Insider Call Conversation Invitation is "What Grounds Me?"

The 🔗 Sober in the City Art of Connection Kaftans and Quesidilla Event is starting to fill, and I want you there with me. It's not too late now, but it will be soon. 

I was interviewed on Your Midlife BFF's podcast! Listen here 🔗

Please, please listen because the hosts have been hurt by partners with alcohol issues, and they were open enough still to have this conversation with me. The more engagement we can give mainstream outlets to share our interest in alcohol-free living, the more good press they/we get and the easier it makes all of us to live in a world where being alcohol-free is better than normal, it's celebrated.

You can share this newsletter with a friend, using this 🔗 link.

Thank you! I love you! Have a joyful week! I have to get that meatloaf out.

XO!

-Heather