Are You Ready for Some Football, Emotional Regulation and Inner Stillness?

Happy Sunday! I somehow picked the very best pumpkin santal candle from Home Goods, and I am delighted that it's filling my home with cozy vibes. I've fallen for it. (Dad joke)

Football season has started. I went to the high school game on Friday. My own high school experience was top of mind because I just recorded a podcast from a studio in the town next to my hometown. The host coached my classmates' kids. This one hit close to home, and I've been dealing with my vulnerability hangover from it. Yes, I still get those sometimes. It usually sounds like this:

"Oh shit, what did I say? Did I throw anyone that I love under the bus? Could that be taken out of context? Does everyone hate me? That was my perspective. Is there another way to see it? What don't I know about what I don't know? Does this make me a liar? Is anyone going to be mad at me? What are they saying behind my back?"

It's one thing to be big and bold out there in the world and on the general interwebs, where I'm mostly anonymous. It's one thing to share with my Insider community🔗, a group of women who have decided I am the best guide for them. They have chosen to see me in my best light whenever possible. It's another thing to come back to my old stomping grounds and share my story with authenticity and vulnerability to people that knew me growing up. The people that were standing around the keg in the cornfield with me. 

I've shared my story many times, but this time it felt different. Both the format of the podcast and the fact that it was like coming home. It's gotten great feedback from clients and people from my past. Listen here 🔗 or anywhere you listen to podcasts. I guess I had my own homecoming without a pretty dress. 

I honestly loved high school. I had a great time growing up in a small town. Alcohol was always a big part of my life. I'll never know who I would have been without it. My relationship with alcohol changed over time, and so has my opinion of it. I don't hate alcohol. Yes, it tried to kill me, but overcoming it was also the portal to living my dreams. It was my grand wake-up call. The alarm was sounding so loud that I finally had to listen. I am grateful for that wake-up call. I am grateful for my alcohol problem. I've written about this before in my blog, Thankful for My Darkest Days 🔗. 

If it wasn't alcohol, would there have been something else or no? I imagine myself on autopilot without it. Would I have ever had the chance to become my highest self to do my greatest good? I don't know, but I don't think so.

As humans we resist the hard stuff and choose comfort over growth most of the time. We have to really be pushed to make a change, and alcohol gave me the push I am forever grateful for. I know that because I have gotten solidly sober, I can reach out my hand to anyone struggling and light a path. 

Ditching the drink saved my life, not only because I won't die from alcohol, but also because I won't die from dormancy. My childhood dreams and imagination are still alive, too. Because as a drinker I eventually became the walking dead, I know in sobriety how to be alive. Not only with my pulse but also with my whole body and spirit. We can't know light without dark. 

On Saturday we watched college on Saturday. My daughter's school, MIZZOU, was playing their biggest rival, KU (and won!). We watched from a pub with a group. I was decked out in my MIZZOU gear, and I got a lot of attention from kids that recently graduated from there and/or want to attend next year. I was three Go Brew NA Sunshine State IPAs (and one basket of cheese curds) in, and I still had my wits about me to encourage them. There might be a reason they gravitated toward me and not the others at the table also in MIZZOU gear. Inner stillness makes you easier to be around. 

To quote Morgan Freeman, "People can finally exhale because you're not pulling on them for energy, validation, or attention. Many of us walk through the world with a subtle hunger. A hunger to be seen. To be affirmed. To feel enough. That hunger can be felt by others. It subconsciously sucks the energy from the people you're with. Without a connection to something deeper, we become hungry ghosts. Always grasping. Never satisfied. This is exhausting. For you and others. Cultivating an inner stillness that fills you from the inside out. It roots you in a presence that doesn't need to grasp. Your worth stops depending on the responses of others. You're no longer living off scraps. From this fullness, your energy shifts. You don't drain a room. You fill it. People sense that they can rest with you because you're not unconsciously feeding on them. Learning how to be still, to really be still and let life happen, becomes a radiance."

I brought my inner stillness (and radiance) to the pub table, but also, more importantly, I brought it to my in-laws this week. Caring for others is a top value of mine. I might be a boss babe and all that, but one real reason that I love being my own boss is not the money. It's the autonomy I have over my schedule to take care of children, elders, pets, neighbors, and more. If money were my top value, I would go into investing, not coaching. 

Last week was my time to shine with my in-laws. I was not their first choice, but because of schedules, I was the one to stay with them to support my father-in-law recovering from surgery. Turns out I was the perfect person for this role and was able to gently give them a new perspective on some things.

My mother-in-law was feeling like she didn't want them to be a burden or something like that. She's normally someone who puts my nervous system on fire because there's no way of knowing how to please her; it's a complete mystery for everyone. This makes it hard on a people pleaser like me. Getting sober taught me how to fight cravings and take a pause, get a relationship with myself, settle my nervous system, and build emotional resilience and regulation. Because I am sober, I have an inner stillness even in intense situations and even with people that make me nervous.

I noticed her unease and addressed it directly by saying, "Well, if you're going to age, you're going to need some help, and if you're going to need some help, hopefully you lived your life in a way that you have people that want to help you. And you did and you do. So I'm here."

"Well, that's another way to look at it," she said with wide eyes, looking at her husband in approval and awe.

From here we got home health and all the care that they would need to make recovery and aging a little easier for them. She is now reporting back to me like I am the primary care physician. LOL. Our personal transformations change everything, you guys! 

I used to get drunk and chain-smoke whenever my in-laws left a party because it was so hard for me to be on my best behavior and try to make a good impression. I had to rebel as soon as they were out of the driveway. I was never in touch with my own needs and was always pretending to be someone I wasn't. I wanted to be someone they liked. I shapeshifted. I am still very consciously working on not doing this anymore, and I hate to quote Virginia Slims, but when I was a Marb Light girl, I can now say to myself, "You've come a long way, baby!" 

I’m done abandoning myself, and I want you to come INSIDE 🔗 and do the same. When you grow, heal, and transform your patterns with us, you don’t just change your life… you claim it back.

✨What’s waiting for you inside keeps expanding:

• A brand-new monthly book club 📚

• Inspiring guest speakers 🎤

• A member-led art class is coming soon. 🎨

• Deeper grounding practices (the first 5 minutes of every call is worth the entire membership) 🌿

• More Yoga Nidra meditations 🧘‍♀️

• Fun prizes from our challenges 🎁

• And most importantly: real-time support. Just this week, a struggling member found both a masterclass AND direct, loving messages from others walking the same path. That’s priceless.

For less than $1 a day, you get life-changing connection, resources, and breakthroughs.

💡 Insider Perk (not available anywhere else):
While the public has to buy a 12-session coaching package, YOU—as an Insider—can now choose a 3-session package. Perfect for a quick boost, a focused deep dive, or a stepping stone into bigger transformation.

Don’t wait. Every week inside is overflowing with more connection, more tools, and more support, and you deserve to be part of it now.

👉 Come inside today and take your next step.

XO!

-Heather

p.s. 

Fall Into You Retreat 🔗 sold out faster than expected, but I was able to open a few more spots, so get it before it's gone. I will be closing the doors soon to prepare for the final group. The collective wisdom attending is incredible. We've got leaders in the industry and really rad locals. We've got people traveling from all over to get here. We've got people exploring sober curiosity and women who are decades alcohol-free. There is so much to gain from each other, and I am thrilled with the interest in real-life gatherings. We are doing a Scroll Less September Challenge INSIDE. All I really want is the magic that happens when we bring our come-as-you-are selves and gather together. How brave. This cannot be found on social media. Grab your ticket and Join us 🔗.