The way we go about life changes when we pay attention…

Hi Friend,

I’ve been thinking a lot this week about how different life feels when we actually pay attention.

Not push through.
Not numb out.
Not default to old habits.

But truly, intentionally notice ourselves.

And that’s what I’ve been practicing lately as I put in place my anchors for the Insider First 90 Day Challenge. Small habits, tiny shifts, subtle rituals, barely visible from the outside… Yet they’re already changing the way my days feel.

More grounded.
More intentional.
More me.

And here’s what I realized:

The way we go about life transforms when we pay attention.

It becomes softer.
More spacious.
More connected.
More ritual than routine.

And this is the heart of the First 90 Days Challenge; the anchors we build are all about paying attention.

Let me give you a very December example:

Gift-Wrapping: Two Completely Different Lives

Old Me:
Pour wine.
Blast noise to distract myself.
Rush.
Push through.
Pray my family just leaves me alone.
Feel tense and resentful by the end.
Just “get it done.”

Anchored, Paying-Attention Me:
Play soft music from a curated playlist.
Escort my family out the door so the moment feels like mine.
Pour a warm cup of seasonal tea or NA champagne. 🍾
Light a candle.
Use the good scissors. ✂️
Wrap slowly, intentionally, creatively.
Let it be a ritual.

Same task.
Entirely different experience.

This is what anchors do.
This is what attention does.
This is what the First 90 Days teaches you to create: not just sobriety, but a whole new way of being.

And I want to tell you something important:

Going slow is not a luxury.

It’s a necessity.

Your nervous system cannot rev in “go mode” forever.
You are not a machine.
You cannot sprint through every season of your life.

Going slow is healing.
Going slow is intelligent.
Going slow is what allows transformation to stick.

If December feels overwhelming, here’s your permission slip:

✨ Delegate.
✨ Set boundaries.
✨ Divide tasks with a partner (friend, family, spouse, or neighbor).
✨ Ask for help.
✨ Swap or barter for support.
✨ Change traditions.
✨ Lighten the load wherever possible.

And if this sounds like a privilege you don’t have, I hear you. I’ve been there. I know what it’s like to feel like slowing down isn’t an option.

But here is what I know now:

Your health matters.
Your energy matters.
Your life matters.

And the people who rely on you need you well.
It is your job to take care of yourself lovingly, intentionally, and consistently. 

It’s time to treat yourself like a priority.

Feeling strapped by gifts?

Financially, emotionally, or mentally?

Find another way.

A heartfelt letter.
A shared experience.
A walk together.
Homemade food.
Acts of service.
Quality time.

The holidays don’t need to cost your peace.

You can jump off the track that leads to burnout, resentment, bitterness, and self-abandonment.

Inside the First 90 Days Challenge…

We’re doing something different.
Not 30 days of white-knuckling.
Not rule-following.
Not “don’t drink, don’t drink, don’t drink.”

We’re practicing identity change.
We’re building nervous-system-safe habits.
We’re discovering new rituals.
We’re paying attention to the lives we’re creating.
We’re rising gently, consistently.

And the community?
It’s small on purpose.
We get to know each other.
We care about one another.
We become friends.
We hold each other through hard weeks—and celebrate the small wins.

✨ Warm-Up Call: December 18
✨ Kickoff Call: January 1

If you're already Inside, you're laying down the foundation for who you're becoming.

If you haven’t joined yet, this is your moment.
Don’t wait for January.

January won’t magically prepare you.
But December will.

⬇️ Join the First 90 Days 2026 Challenge by joining the community for Free →HERE

XO!
Heather