Recovery is Like a Prayer

I spent last week in the hospital with my mom, who had spinal surgery. She had a similar surgery 8 years ago when I also stayed in the hospital with her.

At that time, I had little wine bottles for secret sipping on the hospital cot in the evenings, hiding from the nurses. 🍷

I tried to act cool about this, like it was pretty normal. I minimized it, but honestly, I wasn't sure I could stay alcohol-free during that stressful time. I needed a little sumthin sumthin. I was very anxious. 

I am a natural caregiver, so of course I did all the things. I did most of them mostly well, even with the little bottles of Cabernet. I was full of guilt and shame but not ready to take an honest look at that yet. Even with an alcohol problem, I was performing at 70% most of the time so I kept drowning out my thoughts and concerns with more vino.   

Last week was very different, even though there were similarities. The energy I brought to the whole experience was different. I was not anxious at all. I was positive, patient, peaceful, and confident. I was more in tune to my mom's needs this time. I could make eye contact with the hospital staff. I am certain, in part, that my own humor, healing, and steadiness played a role in mom's quick recovery, spending only two nights in the hospital when many stay for two weeks. 

Both times I fluffed pillows, pulled the shade, ordered food, assisted with walking, managed medications, and filled water, but the way I went about it was different.

As a high-functioning drinker, it wasn't always easy to tell when alcohol was getting in the way because I was doing all the things regardless. The way you go about these things makes a huge difference. My clients are noticing this too, whether it's not rushing through their kids bedtime routines or enjoying their first sip of coffee in the morning. From handling conflict with their spouse to finding moments of joy. The way we go about it is different when we are alcohol-free. Better. It looks subtle from the outside but makes a world of difference from withing.  

It was noticeable to me that my mom and I were able to make beautiful memories and connections even during a stay on the med-surg unit. (I like to talk like a floor nurse now, ok?) There was an energy in our room that drew people in (not just the call button 🤣) . Our surgeon, a quiet introvert, sat down and told us his whole life story, from growing up poor in the Appalachian mountains to becoming a top neurosurgeon. When word got out that my mom was a retired occupational therapist, all the nurses made the rounds and she got to share her story too. I was beaming with pride. 

Nurses are my favorite people. Did you hear last week's podcast with Nurse Deb Masner on Friendship? One nurse at the hospital noticed the Gruvi sticker on my computer and went on to tell me he just hit 4 years alcohol-free. 🙌 The operating room nurses are now the latest Peripeteia Podcast listeners. 🎧 One of them followed me out the door for last-chance support and life coaching regarding her firstborn, who is a senior in high school. We all know what a wild year that is. Mostly, the nurses are all working on co-dependence, which is just so on brand for them (and coaches, omg). LOL. God bless us all! 

Anyway, you can't talk about nurses and the God's work they do, or hospitals and recovery in every way without talking about prayer. 🙏🏼

This week's podcast is just that and I brought in someone from my childhood, Rev. Julie Wilson, who has an actual master's degree in divinity for this special topic. She's professional God type person. She is just as lovely as I remembered from middle school youth group. This is a really sweet conversation and I think you'll enjoy it.

You can listen here or anywhere you listen to podcasts: Peripeteia Podcast

Sober September is around the corner and I encourage you to set up a call if you want life or sober support and also if you are considering a career change. I've got all the resources you need to get started. If you know me at all, you know I love fall best of all. The best way to enjoy pumpkin spice szn is without alcohol. 

XO!

-Heather