Jet plane, Influencers, + Art of Connection

Hi! 

I am writing this week's newsletter early, as I will be in Scottsdale, AZ, for the Sober in the City event this weekend. No podcast this week, but I have some great guests on the docket coming up. I highly recommend catching up on previous episodes. My guests fascinate me. The feedback has been incredible. Thanks for listening!

I just checked in for my flight. It feels weird to do that the day before and gives me a bit of anxiety, like I am already late for something. My alarm is set for early tomorrow. My bags are not yet packed, although I've been planning my outfits for months. LOL. I am not panicked. I am prepared, and I have set aside time this evening to complete the packing. I have a list! Drunk packing was a whole thing in its time for me (and many clients too).

I've been talking clients through setting themselves up for success with laying the runway. Enjoying the packing. Setting intentions and putting them in the suitcase along with a swimsuit, PJs, and kaftans. It's hard to leave our home, our people (pets), and our routines for the unknown, but we are taking the leap anyway. 

I had a full moon ceremony in Michigan earlier this week with sober gal pals, and I felt the same resistance to leaving. It's hard. I came home with a full heart and soothed soul, like I always do, despite trying to talk myself out of it. It was actually exactly what I needed, but it was hard to give myself rest at the start of a busy week that included travel. I am trying something that doesn't come naturally to me. Rest first, not last. It worked. Everything, including my head and heart space, was calm for my upcoming work and pleasure after a night of connection. I was better. My energy and output were better after resting first. Hmmm. Might be on to something here.

Sober in the City has been the same for me, so I could relate to the pre-anxiety. Clients are putting a lot of faith in the unknown and thanking their past selves for the bold audacity of signing up. It is many people's first sober event. It has come right on time for most of us. We are committed to showing up for ourselves and each other.

I am thrilled to host the Art of Connection Kaftans and Quesadilla event on Thursday evening. When planning for this event, I was hoping for an intimate group of 30 people. The interest exceeded my expectations. I am oversold and had to cap the event at 50. If you are on the list, I CANNOT WAIT TO MEET YOU (OR SEE YOU AGAIN), whichever it may be!). Yay!

I am flattered, to say the very least. I am affirmed in my hunches that people want an opportunity to connect in person, to belong to a group of women who are interested in freedom from alcohol, self-development, and intentional living. We want opportunities, and we want a guide. 

I will be planning more opportunities for connection throughout the year, and invitations will always open first for my 🔗 Insider Group. If you need a nudge to join, this is it. New people are joining every week; you won't be the only new person. The Insider alumni are ready to welcome you with open arms. We are honestly waiting for you to join us. We love welcoming new women into our little circle and supporting them. You can be anywhere on your alcohol-free journey, from trying to get to Day 1 (again) to decades alcohol-free. We have women everywhere on the spectrum here, and everyone is welcome. If you are looking to find your sober gal pals, I've got them INSIDE! 

Out of curiosity, I joined a community hosted by a very popular psychologist, despite my negative experiences with therapists in the past. I wanted to put myself in your shoes and experience what it was like to join a community. I also wanted to find a community for myself that wasn't specific to sobriety but offered a platform for learning and healing in other areas, so I started shopping for options, and I picked one.

It was a little overwhelming at first, tbh. All the onboarding emails and finding the resources, even though I signed up for it, I was like, "Who has time to navigate this?"

I had to dedicate some time to looking into it, and then it felt like a big indulgence to join a live call and also watch a recorded video. I was antsy and couldn't sit still. You could not see the other members on the live call, so it was more like a lecture. This didn't create an environment for connection. The host presented, members didn't share, and you could respond in the chat, which felt like a big distraction to me. 

I was also very turned off by the first video because the host said, "We can't change our thoughts." I don't know where she was coming from. 

As a coach, I couldn't disagree more. We CAN change our thoughts. Mindset shifts, reframes, questioning, and removing limiting beliefs are a major part of my work. To give this psychologist some benefit of the doubt, I agree that we can't change all of our thoughts. Many of us have intrusive thoughts at times. Our brains register sensations, and thoughts fire at random. We don't control all of our thoughts. We don't have to believe all our thoughts. All our thoughts are not true. Thoughts are not facts.

BUT ALSO OMG YES WE CAN CHANGE OUR THOUGHTS!!!

This is a hill that I am willing to die on.

After learning more, I decided quickly that this host was not going to be the leader for me. I have cancelled my membership. I am $30 or so out this month. No big deal. Now I know something I didn't before. With my community, you get 7 days free, so there is literally no risk if it's not for you. If you are reading this newsletter, I bet that it is, however.  

Another reason I signed up for the community was to compare another similar community to mine. I wondered if a wildly large and popular influencer had better technology, topics, community, or knowledge than me.

The answer is no. She didn't.

I have invested in the best technology. I am a consistent early adopter for new features. I am committed to continuing to evolve and grow as a person, as well as DTD head of IT, director of operations, and lead coach. This community did not offer anything better than mine. That was worth $30 of research to find out. 

Signing off for a weekend of in-real-life connection with sober babes. It's pure gold! 

XO!

-Heather