For heaven's sakes, do it and have fun
Hi friend,
Happy Mother's Day—to those of you who are mothers, those of you who chose not to be, those of you for whom today is complicated, and those of you who are missing someone today.
This holiday holds a lot. So I want to tell you a story about a voice.
Earlier this week, I sat with a client in her late 60s who was wrestling with a big decision. She wanted to buy a home and make a move — a real adventure for this season of her life. The numbers worked. The desire was clear. By every measure, this was a yes.
But she couldn't get there. She kept hearing her father's voice: Don't waste your money. Save your pennies.
So I asked her: Why is his the voice you're listening to?
She got quiet. Then she told me her father wasn't the person who had loved her best. The brightest light in her life—the one she looked up to most, the one she felt most loved by—was her grandmother.
And there it was. She knew who the loving voice was. She had known her whole life.
She just wasn't hearing her.
This is the part that broke me open a little bit, because it's so deeply human.
Most of us already know whose voice is the wise one, the kind one, the one that wants us to live. We just don't always hear it. The other voice is louder. The other voice has been running the show for decades.
So we sat with that. I held space. We let it be tender.
And near the end of the call, I asked her one more thing: If I told you about another client in this exact situation, what would you say to her?
Within a minute, she heard a different voice.
Her grandmother—the woman who got brighter and bolder later in life—said, "Oh, for heaven's sake!" Do it and have fun."
That was the moment.
I'm sharing this on Mother's Day on purpose.
Because not all of us were mothered the way we needed. Some of us got our mothering from grandmothers, aunts, neighbors, teachers, partners, friends, or a trusted coach in a weekly session who looked us in the eye when we thought no one would. Some of us are still doing the work of separating the loudest voice in our head from the most loving one.
The loudest voice isn't always the one that loves you most.
Today is a good day to ask, "Whose voice am I letting run the show?" And whose voice do I want to listen to instead?
The voices that carry us
This week in our insider community, we talked about faith and spirituality—what we believe, what carries us, and what we lean on when our own voice is too tired or too scared to lead.
It wasn't a conversation about religion. It was a conversation about the voices we trust. The ones that feel like home. The ones that sound a little like a grandmother saying, "For heaven's sake, do it and have fun."
Sometimes the wisest voice in your head was given to you by someone who loved you well. Hearing her again is its own kind of prayer.
Together, we built a playlist. Not hymns — just meaningful songs. The ones that have carried each of us through hard moments. The kind that show up in your kitchen at 6pm on a Tuesday and tell you you're going to make it.
That playlist lives inside the community. It's one of dozens of small, real things we make together—for each other.
🎧 Members can find it pinned inside our community space.
What AI cannot do
I've been thinking a lot lately about what AI can do and what it can't.
There's a time and a place where AI is useful, and I use it for certain things too. It's great for brainstorming, drafting, and sorting through my thoughts when I'm stuck. I'm not anti-AI.
But AI cannot sit in the silence with you while you find your grandmother's voice. It cannot ask you the question that makes you notice—gently, lovingly—that the voice you've been listening to isn't the one who loved you best. It cannot make a playlist with you — songs chosen by women who actually know what your hard nights look like. And it cannot witness the moment something shifts in you and reflect it back so you know it was real.
That part is coaching. That part is community. That part requires humans.
I went deeper on this in a longer piece on the blog this week, including the technique I used with my client that you can try on yourself the next time you're stuck. Read: What AI Cannot Do in Coaching →
Here's the other thing AI can't do: be the someone who notices when you don't show up.
I had my own version of this last week. I missed a walk because of rain. I wanted to wave it off—tell my insider community I'll make a plan for it later. But I knew that wasn't specific enough. So I squeezed a walk in between calls. The next day I went to yoga. The day after that, yoga again.
I did all of that because I'd told real humans I would.
Environment matters. Desire matters. But without accountability—the kind that comes from people who are actually paying attention—it all stays theoretical.
If you've been doing this alone—talking to AI at midnight, journaling in circles, white-knuckling your way through this season—I want to invite you in.
Work with me 1:1 → Coaching gives you the question that unlocks your grandmother's voice.
Both, together, give you the kind of change AI cannot.
Wherever you are today — being celebrated, missing someone, sitting with something complicated, or quietly mothering yourself for the first time — I'm so glad you're here.
XO!
Heather
PS — If you want the longer version of the conversation in this newsletter, I wrote it as a blog post this week. It includes the full coaching technique I used with my client (the one I'd hand to a friend), what AI is actually good at, and what it cannot do. Read: What AI Cannot Do in Coaching →
This Week Inside the Community
Sunday - Yoga Nidra Intention Setting on Self-Love and Compassion
Monday - Group Connection Call with Host Deb, Wild Card Topic
Wednesday - Group Connection Call with Host Tina, A Daily Practice of Treating Yourself Kindly
Thursday - Group Connection Call with Host Jen R. Serenity Now!!!, Easy, doable, and pleasurable ways to ground everyday life or stressful moments
Thursday - Denim to Diamonds Sober in the City Event, Colorado Springs, Giddy Up, Cowgirls! (and Kendra Scott free shipping for anyone who wants a signature piece of jewelry and can't make it live)
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