Living alcohol free is absolutely magical, but it doesn’t feel that way at first.

When I first quit drinking, I had a lot of fears.

MostlyI feared that life after booze would be boring.

I was terrified that I would lose friends. 

The truth is, my early sobriety was pretty boring.

I tucked in bed early on most days.

I avoided many social gatherings.

I immersed myself in books, podcasts, blogs, and education on alcohol. 

I didn’t know how to have fun without alcohol.

I only knew how to be a party girl, with a permanent drink in my hand. 

I had a big fear of missing out on fun.

My friendships changed too.

Everyone, including my closest friends, were unsure how to support me. 

We always drank together.

What now?

I was itchy in my new alcohol free costume.

I was becoming a new person.

I was taking off the mask of alcohol in my 40’s.

I had worn this cover up since my teen years.

I didn’t know the alcohol...

Is quitting drinking hard?

Yes it is. 

It’s excruciating at times. 

But you know what else is hard?  

Running a marathon.

Having a baby.

Completing a big project at home or at work.

And you know what else? 

They are all absolutely worth it. 

Anything worth anything is going to require effort and getting sober is no different.

It’s a huge accomplishment that doesn’t come easy. 

There’s a risk too.

What if your relationship to your partner changes?

What if you lose friends?

What if people find out?

What if some of your loved ones don’t understand?

What if you don’t want to do the things you are used to doing?

What if you change jobs?

What if you don’t fit in anymore?

All of these things happened to me.

Every single one. 

Endings are hard.

Really hard.

Heartbreaking.

You know what else happened?

I learned to choose myself.

I learned my spouse loved me enough he was willing to...

Sober October is the second most popular alcohol free month of the year, followed by Dry January. As the weather gets cooler it's a perfect time to hunker down, and hit the reset button on your drinking before the holiday season picks up. 

If you are like me, many sober experiments start with motivation and excitement. This can dwindle quickly when you are faced with your first cravings. 

Here’s a few common tricks to avoid and treats to implement for a successful Sober October. 

Tricks

Tough emotions

If you’re a regular drinker it will take some time for your mind, body, and spirit to reset. It is common to wake up and immediately wonder who many drinks you’ve had the night before. Dreaming about drinking is also very common. Without alcohol to numb your emotions you may experience intense emotions. This will be uncomfortable but you can allow yourself to move through it. Feelings are only temporary. With two full moons this month, your emotions...

When asked what I do, I tell people I help others take a break from alcohol.

Then I launch into a definition of gray area drinking, coaching, and ending the stigma.

People usually respond with, yeah you don’t have to quit forever though, right?

You don’t work with like really bad alcoholics?

There’s a difference between someone who can never drink again and someone that does Dry January.

Then I rant about alcohol being toxic substance that creates dependency.

I talk about it being progressive, and blah, blah, blah.

But here’s the thing:

What if alcohol was poisonous for everyone and not just some of us?

What if anyone had the potential to become an ALCOHOLIC, because of alcohol?

What if anyone, whether ALCOHOLIC or not just decided to stop putting poison in their body?

What if anyone, no matter how much alcohol they consumed, just decided to start looking internally instead of externally for their own peace and happiness?

What if not drinking ever again led...

I have had nothing but JOMO this Labor Day.

The Joy Of Missing Out. 

JOMO is new to me and I am still a bit shocked at just how much JOMO I have. 

This makes me question my past decisions, but anyway...I am here now. 

Please do not confuse me with being a bore, or a prude, or a homebody.

Actually, I am those things too, but still...

I am an extrovert. 

A party girl. 

I am someone up for adventure. 

Most of the time, I still party sober. 

I go to lakes, pools, boats, and bbq’s on summer holiday weekends. 

However, I did none of that this Labor Day weekend and I absolutely loved it. 

When I was in my first few weeks, (and even months) sober I tucked in early and a lot.

Staying sober was my priority so I avoided anything that triggered me. 

This was nearly everything. 

I was also boring myself to death. 

As a girl with an edge, I wondered how I was ever going to keep up this Puritan-type lifestyle. 

I like to...

Shame on you Big Alcohol.

How dare you market your poison to Mothers.

You are selling us a carefree afternoon with a crisp chardonnay in the sun.

You are selling us a sip to take the edge off a long day.

You are selling us relief from the high stress of parenting.

You are selling us deeper connections with our spouses.

You are selling us empowerment with each other. 

You are selling us glamour, luxury, and a vacation from the daily grind.

These are all the things we desire and none of it comes from alcohol.

You know that.

You know that you are selling lies.

Your lies take away our power and hurt our future generations.

It’s the worst thing you can do.

I don’t know how you sleep at night.

You suggest we need wine to help us parent.

You tell our kids we are drinking because of them.

I was sold, hook, line and sinker on your promises that never delivered. 

I was duped.

I drank your wine.

I sucked down that elixir and waited for the magic to happen.

I...

Will I lose weight if I quit drinking?

This is one of my most asked questions.

I can’t guarantee anything about the scale, but I can share my experience.

When I quit drinking, I let myself eat whatever I wanted, with abandon.

I didn’t have a sweet tooth until I gave up alcohol.

Without wine, my body craved sugar and I indulged.

Alcohol had a hold on my brain and giving it up was hard.

Super hard.

I let myself consume whatever I wanted, craved, and needed.

I only had one exception: no alcohol.

That was the only simple rule imposed.

For me, this was the only way to make it through the first hours, days, weeks and months.

Giving up alcohol was enough.

More than enough.

This was my life’s work.

To grab a Twizzler instead of a drink.

This simple type of transformation is profound.

If you know, you know.

I went out for coffee and dessert instead of drinks.

I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.

Whatever tasted good and whatever comforted me.

I allowed it.

...

Growing up in Wisconsin, alcohol was omnipresent. 

My parents met in a beer tent. 

I met my husband in a bar. 

I had a lot of fun drinking days with just a few embarrassing moments and a couple of painstaking hangovers sprinkled in between. 

Just like everyone else.

When I became a Mom, I was adamant in keeping my party girl identity shining through. 

Lucky for me, Mommy Juice Wine Culture was on the rise. 

My drinking was totally normalized. 

I brought my breast pump to happy hours in bars.

You do what you gotta do.

Mom’s are people too.

Make no mistake, I love my kids beyond measure. 

Their health and safety is my top priority. 

I never drove after drinking.

I have lost friends from my hometown that way. 

I wasn’t reckless, careless, or stupid. 

Neither were they. 

As time went on, I was becoming more and more unhappy.

I was out of alignment with my career.

I experienced the tragic loss of 3 loved ones 3 years...

Kudos to all you parents who got a first day of school picture of your kids at 7 am, all dressed and sitting on your doorstep with their laptops ready for e-learning. 

I commend you. I really do. 

My perfectionist and competitive nature wants that picture, so I am a bit jealous. 

In my quest for mental health and inner peace over perfectionism, we decided our schedule would work best to stay in our pj’s until around noon. 

We plan to shower and get ready midday. 

I am hoping to get a walk outside before then. 

This is the routine today that works for me and my family.

I will take my kids back to school pictures before dinner tonight instead. It irks me a little because it won’t match all the other early morning back to school pictures I have saved up through the years, but it is what it is. 

None of us wanted a picture of us right when we rolled out of bed this morning. 

We had a mix of feelings...