I was a party girl through high school and college. Enough was never enough, when it came to drinking. As a new mom, I fit right into our Mommy Juice/Wine Culture, with Coffee until Wine and Rosé all Day. Drinking took the edge off my new mom anxiety. We live in a society that tells us drinking wine helps us be better Moms.
SIGN ME UP.
A decade went by before my drinking started to take an obvious downward spiral. I was moving from job to job, feeling out of alignment, with myself and my career. In addition, I gave 3 eulogies for shocking, out of order deaths, without warning in 3 years. My grief was at an all time high and my drinking followed.
My drinking was no longer social and became a private medicine that I administered every night, on the couch alone. My tolerance increased and I continually broke promises to my family and myself, by drinking more than I had planned. I woke up every day in a panic.
In an effort to try to help myself, I talked to a therapist and was prescribed an anti anxiety medication. The meds combined with drinking, resulted in me becoming a walking blackout, on more than one embarrassing occasion. My drinking was getting out of control, and I couldn’t stop it.
This would have been a good time to quit, but now my brain had started to depend on alcohol. I could not feel good without it. The drink became both the cure and the poison. The drink took over me. The drink did not make me feel good, but it did temporarily satisfy my craving. I was desperate for some relief from being myself. I was self medicating to avoid my overwhelming feelings of sadness, grief, fear, and pain.
After the initial relief of a sip of wine, drinking left me feeling guilty, depressed, ashamed, and self loathing. Every. Single. Day. After a few sober experiments, I knew it was time for me to ditch the drink for good, but I was scared to death to live without it.
I was at my lowest of lows and desperate for a change.
A friend of mine was at the same point in her life and we started the process of getting sober together in February of 2018. Having a friend to go through recovery with was the golden ticket to our success. We didn't know at the time, that a sober life would be so amazing. We could not imagine two party girls like us, actually removing the desire to drink. But here we are, gladly choosing the dry life.
I have been able to heal my relationships with my family and with myself. My anxiety is minimal and my depression is gone. I stopped hating myself and started loving myself. I get my buzz from nature, music, relationships, and waking up with a clear mind and full heart every day.
I quit the corporate sales jobs, that were never right for me, and started Ditched the Drink, my online Recovery Class and Coaching to help guide others out of the alcohol trap. I am passionate about removing the stigma of getting help in recovery.
I know how frightening it is when you start to depend on a drink. I know how scared you are to get help, or even admit drinking might be an issue. You are not alone and you do not have to go through this alone. There is a whole badass sober community out there for you. I can show you the way through recovery. I have developed everything you need to light your path. You can hold my hand and I will lead you to your freedom. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. No one ever regretted getting sober. The time is now, don’t waste another second of your precious life.