Shame on you Big Alcohol.

How dare you market your poison to Mothers.

You are selling us a carefree afternoon with a crisp chardonnay in the sun.

You are selling us a sip to take the edge off a long day.

You are selling us relief from the high stress of parenting.

You are selling us deeper connections with our spouses.

You are selling us empowerment with each other. 

You are selling us glamour, luxury, and a vacation from the daily grind.

These are all the things we desire and none of it comes from alcohol.

You know that.

You know that you are selling lies.

Your lies take away our power and hurt our future generations.

It’s the worst thing you can do.

I don’t know how you sleep at night.

You suggest we need wine to help us parent.

You tell our kids we are drinking because of them.

I was sold, hook, line and sinker on your promises that never delivered. 

I was duped.

I drank your wine.

I sucked down that elixir and waited for the magic to happen.

I...

Will I lose weight if I quit drinking?

This is one of my most asked questions.

I can’t guarantee anything about the scale, but I can share my experience.

When I quit drinking, I let myself eat whatever I wanted, with abandon.

I didn’t have a sweet tooth until I gave up alcohol.

Without wine, my body craved sugar and I indulged.

Alcohol had a hold on my brain and giving it up was hard.

Super hard.

I let myself consume whatever I wanted, craved, and needed.

I only had one exception: no alcohol.

That was the only simple rule imposed.

For me, this was the only way to make it through the first hours, days, weeks and months.

Giving up alcohol was enough.

More than enough.

This was my life’s work.

To grab a Twizzler instead of a drink.

This simple type of transformation is profound.

If you know, you know.

I went out for coffee and dessert instead of drinks.

I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.

Whatever tasted good and whatever comforted me.

I allowed it.

...

Growing up in Wisconsin, alcohol was omnipresent. 

My parents met in a beer tent. 

I met my husband in a bar. 

I had a lot of fun drinking days with just a few embarrassing moments and a couple of painstaking hangovers sprinkled in between. 

Just like everyone else.

When I became a Mom, I was adamant in keeping my party girl identity shining through. 

Lucky for me, Mommy Juice Wine Culture was on the rise. 

My drinking was totally normalized. 

I brought my breast pump to happy hours in bars.

You do what you gotta do.

Mom’s are people too.

Make no mistake, I love my kids beyond measure. 

Their health and safety is my top priority. 

I never drove after drinking.

I have lost friends from my hometown that way. 

I wasn’t reckless, careless, or stupid. 

Neither were they. 

As time went on, I was becoming more and more unhappy.

I was out of alignment with my career.

I experienced the tragic loss of 3 loved ones 3 years...

For a long while, I've struggled with drinking to have fun and drinking to relieve and escape some of the monotony and fatigue of the day-in, day-out routine of working full time as a database developer while also trying to be "everything" for my three young children.

Sometimes a glass of wine seems like the only way to get through a dinner with a screaming toddler who doesn't want to eat, homework with older kids, dinner, bathtime, storytime, etc. It exhausts me even thinking about it, but I knew the wine was also increasing my exhaustion, my anxiety, my daily internal struggle that I wasn't doing my best either at work or at home because of what I was holding onto: wine.

With my older kids now 9 and 7, they were beginning to see things in me that they hated when I was drinking, and my entire goal of being an amazing mother was falling away from me. I was putting so much pressure on myself to be perfect, using wine as an escape from that pressure, and then failing at the very...

A year ago I was between jobs. 

I was interviewing at a few companies. 

I was rising as the top candidate for a few positions. 

The openings were for jobs that I was qualified for and that I had done before.

I was good enough at these jobs.

I visualized myself making a decision about these positions and my heart sunk. 

I had a year of sobriety under my belt. 

I made huge gains in my personal development. 

The result of my efforts, was that I no longer fit into the corporate puzzle.

I couldn’t see myself going back to these jobs that, were never meant for me.

I wanted to do something that made my heart sing. 

I wanted to go back to my social work roots.

I wanted to inspire and help others. 

I wanted to share stories, connect, and create.  

I wanted to work with people that share a passion for mental health.

I took a leap of faith.

I let go of a paycheck.

I decided to have relentless belief in myself.

Something I had never...

One of the greatest gifts of sobriety, for me, has been the ability to feel joy.

This may sound silly, as alcohol is sold as a rip roaring good time.

I had some good times in my drinking days.

The good times, however, were often clouded by my own shame and fear. 

Now that I am sober,  I have re-learned how to feel childlike joy in everyday moments.  

While drinking, I grew to be afraid of joy. 

It was like if I acknowledged feeling joy, then it would be taken away.

If I looked at my kids sleeping and felt overwhelming gratitude and love for them, it was immediately replaced with “what could go wrong?”

I was afraid to be ok, happy, content. 

It was easier to complain, than to recognize that in this moment, all is well.

We aren’t supposed to feel happiness. 

Who do we think we are? 

It felt like bragging to say,

“things are good, I am happy, healthy, lucky...hashtag blessed!”

It was as if there is only so much of...

You can live a big, juicy life without alcohol. 

I am 900 days sober and living a brave, and adventurous life. 

Day 1 and Day 900 look completely different. 

On Day 900, I still drink.

I still like to over indulge. 

I love going out and having a good time. 

I don’t need alcohol to do it. 

In fact, alcohol took away from all my fun for years. 

Getting rid of alcohol has been the most fun and liberating experience of my life!

Just last night I was at a happy hour where I enjoyed two craft cocktails free of spirits, followed by dinner with my husband where I enjoyed a Hoppy Refresher. 

I was relaxed, free, and present. 

Last weekend I played cards with friends and had 2 NA elderberry gin and tonics with extra lime. 

I was not always comfortable socializing without alcohol. 

I grew into my alcohol free confidence. 

In my first month year sober, I had a lot of anxiety about going out and socializing without alcohol. ...

Sobriety is a lifestyle and it’s the one I’ve always wanted. 

Rosé all day is a lifestyle too and it made me miserable. 

As a drinker, I loved any occasion to make my drinking feel normal.

I loved when other people drank with me.

I loved when other people started the drinking, so it didn’t have to be me.

I loved weekends, holidays, events and occasions where I could start drinking earlier in the day. 

I drank fast and furious.

I always wanted more.

It didn’t hit fast enough and then it hit all at once. 

I drank alone like this too, but it felt better when there were others doing it with me. 

I could not hang, so I often passed out hours before the party ended. 

The drinking lifestyle started out with all the best intentions.

Wine at playdates.

Day drinking by the pool on a holiday weekend.

A crisp glass of white in the sun chatting on the phone before the kids came home. 

The drinking lifestyle ended with...

“Building Resilience” is a popular term in the self help world. 

I didn’t have a full understanding of what resiliency meant until COVID-19 happened, and social distancing was put in place. 

You see, I’ve spent the past 2+ years building my resilience, by getting sober. 

I basically trained for this. 

I replaced drinking with new coping skills. 

I put routines in place that strengthened my mental health. 

I learned to care for my body by what I eat and how I move. 

I listen to myself to tell me what I need, especially, in times of stress.

Building my resiliency looked like this:

Anxiety = walk with dog around the block/yoga 

Angry = journal/ loud music in headphones/fast run. 

Sad = cry/read

Irritable = alone time at gym/clean kitchen/donate stuff

Bored = coffee with friend/puzzle

Lonely = tell someone/letters to Grandma/volunteer

I pay attention to myself when things feel wonky, triggery, or a little off. 

I...